Shoul i work

[mummy_Heth21]

hi there, just wanted some opinions

i have a 13month old and a 3 year old and a full time working partner. the cost of living is rising and the wages arnt. would it be fair on the kids for me to go out and work a few evenings a week if it means missing giving them their dinner and putting them to bed? even though there dad does the bedtime stories (coz hes better at that) while im doing the tidying up of the dolls and stickle bricks.

am feeling guilty about thinking about working for a few evenings but the money is needed.

[mummy_Heth21]

Well i wouldnt say the money is needed as such as we are managing. but have no savings and watch every penny.

[bednobs]

in the end, only you will know whats right for you and your family. There are plenty of people for whom it is right to put their child in nursery while they work, and others to whom being at home is more important, so noone can tell you whats right for you

[mummy_Heth21]

they will be at home with their dad so i wont have to get a child minder in to cover for me, i personally wouldnt leave my kids with some1 i didnt know.

[redcrx]

if you need the money then look at perhaps a position for weekend eves or once children are in bed.

Or have you anyone who could perhaps help out by babysitting whilst you do a few hours during the day?

[mummy_Heth21]

thing is ive been offered a job where the money is brilliant and i wont get that type of money anywhere, jobs are hard to come around where i live so need to travel for work.

if i take the job it just means their dad will have to do the dinners and bedtimes 3 evenings a week

[bednobs]

as i said, only you know what you can manage

[redcrx]

talk to your partner about it. I know my fella would love to spend one to one time putting the kids to bed and giving them tea (he wouldnt like cooking it 3 times a week though lol)

[Tichfield]

When my father was a youngster in the 50s his father worked during the day 9-5 and his mother worked nights.

They had to do that in order to make ends meet.

The "welfare state" didn't exist to the extent it does now.

[mummy_Heth21]

thanks for your replys.
think my partner would love having some alone time with our kids as he doesnt get any

am just worried my kids will think that im betraying them in some way

[redcrx]

no they wont. If youre worried about that then how will you cope when they start education? My son is 3 and he is either with me or his nana, hes grown up thinking it normal and he certainly isnt bothered by watching me go off to work. Even if hes poorly he knows that hes safe with nana and she looks after him very well.

Its your choice if you work or not, but dont feel bad about daddy putting them to bed 3 days a week, chances are they will love it and youll enjoy having just a bit of quiet time away from 2 toddlers.

[mummy_Heth21]

thanks redcrx, thats exactly the type of thing i wanted to hear.
Nice to hear that your little un isnt bothered by seeing you go to work
gives me some hope
thanks

[Jillius]

Go for it ! The kids will be fine with their dad.

[ethanryan]

i have been in the same position as you, my partner is on basic wages and we manage, i looked at working evenings somewhere, but when the time came i couldnt do it. i knew they were safe with dady but as i was the one that normally does story i felt bad. daddy normally does bath time then i follow on with story. i decided that we didnt need the money that much and that whatever money i earned doing a couple of evenings we would lose in working family tax credits anyway so wasntworth it

[tigwig]

Go for it! It is only natural to feel guilty but you really have no need to. I know that as a loving mum you can sometimes feel that no one looks after the kids as good as you do but as you've said they will love the time with dad. It sounds ideal, you will get a break from the kids, dad will spend time with them and you will get extra money. You will appreciate them even more on the nights when you don't work and they will feel the same. You can use the money you earn to pay for extra treats! I work 2 full days and my mum has my daughter (4). I tell her I have to work to pay for nice holidays! Kids understand and its only 3 evenings the majority of the time they will be well distracted with eating, bath time then asleep. Stop worrying about it you have no need to feel guilty.