cant talk with dad anymore

[kitten_uk2]

hi there, ive just got back from visiting my parents, and saw my dad for first time in a week or so. he has motor neurone disease and it has effected his speech quite badly. i got upset that i can nolonger understand him. we have never really had good heart to heart chats, but even so, i just miss not talking with him. i dont understand what he is trying to tell me. i keep saying he will have to write it down, but he just doesnt bother and would rather not try talking. i feel i miss my dad already and he is still with us!!!!!

[curiosity]

Hi Kitten, I totally understand how you feel, my mam had motor neurone disease and her speech was the first thing to be affected. She got frustrated that sometimes she was difficult to understand. It was awful when we went christmas shopping and she asked a shop assistant in Boots for a special type of mascara for my sister. The woman didn't answer her, looked at me, and answered in a slow loud voice. My mam had cards to show people that explained that she could fully understand them but had a speech problem, but she never used them. She just stopped bothering to try after the christmas shopping thing. We used gestures and pointing a lot, and laughed as much as we could. But sometimes I had to look away and hold back the tears. Im not sure how openly you talk to him about his illness, but it helped us discussing, how awful it must be for people who have communication problems from birth, and how they overcome the obstacles, this, despite my mams illness, made her feel more determined to not get down about her speech, and perhaps feel grateful that shed had years of not having this problem communicating. My thoughts are with you & your Dad. Good luck.

[spudqueen]

My cousins wife had a massive stroke about 5 years ago. She was only in her 50's and is now in a wheelchair, cannot feed herself and her speech is very bad. When I visit I find it hard to understand what she is saying, but after about half an hour I find it becomes easier to understand. Do persevere with listening to your father. You may find that after a while you can understand a lot, if not all of what he is saying. You may find that you need to take a bit of time each visit to get used to his speech, but do try.
Good luck.

[pinktwink]

kitten it is important to communicate with him now , whilst his speech may be poor ihs hearing and mind is fine. You can get communication aids which will help him. Is there a motor neuron association near you they have aids for sufferers and also offer help to familys. My mum died of motor neurone so ?I understand how hard it is to watch them suffer. Take care

[Ice.Maiden]

Hi pink. Good idea there, and from the rest of the ABers.
Perhaps you could record things for him kitten, and let him listen through earphones - just things that he can either nod to, or indicate that he understands or has heard. I'm sure there are associations who have some great ideas for this, so the best of luck. x

[terambulan]

I presume your mother is caring for him when you say 'parents'. Be there for her primarily and find a therapist who can help. He needs you so be there and be glad you still have your dad. Include him in everything you can.

[lil75]

I dont know a lot about what your dad has got, but how sad, my heart goes out to your dad and your family...please try and find a way of communicating with him, it must be horrible to be unable to get out what you want to say and frustrating, im sure if you google it there will be lots of information for you to gather....My best wishes go out to you and your family x