I dont envy you - babies are exhausting! I stopped at one lol.
I would say that you're fantasising a bit about escaping, and attention, and of being a sexual person again. All of which is an understandable response to the demands youre facing. New parents frequently report a decimated sex drive and it takes a bit of a concerted effort on both your parts to get things going again. You can post separately to more experienced mums and dads about how to do this, and tips for more sharing of the childcare responsibilities.
Then Im sure the fantasising will die down all on its own and your attention will return to your little new family! Good luck
Maypole.