Pregnant at 14!

[harryt]

Not sure what to do, I have found out my niece is pregnant, she is only 14 years old and her mother has been letting her sleep with boys, drink and smoke for a while.
I have tried to talk to my sister in regards to this but I am always made out to be the bad one!
My niece has announced that she is 4 months pregnant, will social services get involved now? I am also worried about her younger sister may follow in her footsteps shortly .
My sister had her first child young, and has brought up her children with little respect etc.
Should i contact SS or what to do as I am only thinking of their long term effect this will have on my niece and her younger sister.

[Velvetee]

Unfortunately your Sister will raise her children as she feels fit and your intervention will always be unwelcomed.

If your Niece has been to her GP, then I expect Social Services have already been informed. When she goes for her first Antenatal checkup, they will also fill out a form and ascertain her risks and risks to her unborn child.

I don't know much about Social Services, except to say they do try to keep families together and it sounds like your sister needs help and guidance. Perhaps you could ring an organisation like Childline to find out how you can help and what the implications are, if you do contact Social Services.

[pinktwink]

yes if you have concerns for your nieces contact social services. It may be that they can assist in additional support to your nieces, sister and your nieces child when born, perhaps you could be a resource helping with respite for your nieces etc. Have any other family members concerns??

Too often people regret not contacting social services earlier so I would not delay

[paraffin]

Look before you leap! Realise the ramifications of reporting your own flesh and blood to Social Services!

For who's to say that it wouldn't cause the complete breakdown of your relationship with your sister, and even your nieces as well?

Think seriously before you do anything you might regret for the rest of your days. You say "Not sure what to do." And that alone should make you think hard before doing anything rash.

Look at the facts as you've described them:
1. Your 14 year old niece is 4 months pregnant.
2. She smokes and drinks.
3. Her mother resents your "interference".
4. You are concerned about the younger sister as well.

You are considering telling Social Services. Why? To what end? Put yourself in your sister's place and ask how you would feel is you had SS land on your doorstep out of the blue because your 14yo daughter is preggers?

Now, I'm not condoning the fact that this teenage girl is pregnant, but this is far from rare, and will happen a zillion times in the future throughout the world.

She smokes and has had alcohol. Hands up how many adults did not do that as a teenager. Not too many hands up, I see?

You suspect the younger girl "may follow in her footsteps shortly." What leads you to believe that?

By contacting SS will mean that your sister could, possibly, lose at least one of her children. It also means that the family may then be placed on an "at risk register", there will be home visits, total strangers will be dictating to your sister how she must act as a parent, your niece will have her "own" Social Worker", and every man and his dog in the neighbourhood will know.

Do you seriously believe that your sister is a totally irresponsible mother and that your nieces are at significant risk as a result?

You must come to terms with these possibilities before making