Is it ok if I feed my baby poisonous spiders for supper?

[bobjugs12]

I just wanted to join the latest in a line of people who seem to view kids as a fashion accessory, or a way of cementing relationships with (slightly dodgy) boyfriends, or as a money spinner so here's my question.

If my mate 'steve' got pregnant and had a baby do you think it'd be alright to live with his wife whilst we raised the nipper. Steves only 12 BTW. Once the kids born can I continue to live like nothings ever happened, and still go out to the park drinking cider with my homeys and da crew?

Also, is it alright to by the kid a pet staffy when he's 6mths old, so he can have a dog for a nanny like dey have in Peter Pan.

Also, do kids like the taste of poisonous spiders? I ask this 'cos Fat Alf from the market has got a load for sale and I was finking I could give it to the kids with some Micro Chips and Spaghetti Hoops

[ummmm]

Can't see a problem with it...!!

[annie0000]

Yeah, and if you give them loads of cigarettes, it keeps them small and cuter looking and you can keep them in a handbag.

[sara3]

I'm calling Jeremy Kyle....

[ummmm]

There's a cracker on at the moment. Managed to have sex with two strangers within 4 hours......

[redcrx]

Im calling Fat Alf :)

[cherrychapstick]

yes bob this is acceptable behavior, and more believable that the other post !!!

[bobjugs12]

Sara, really? He's like my favouritest evr. I wanna be one of his groupies. Every time he winks it's aimed at my heart lol pmsl roflmao.

I thought about getting the kids some smoke, but I can't decide whetehr they'd look better with Mayfair or Sovereign. What do you think?

[sara3]

what are micro chips?

[bobjugs12]

They're great fings. It's, like, a box of chips, dat you frow in the microwave. They're really clever, they allow you to give your nippers they're entire weeks salt content in a single meal.

[sara3]

wow, I've wasted so much time in my kitchen!

[cherrychapstick]

hey just noticed you are going to give the kid micro chips and spaghetti hoops , mine just have the spiders :) they seem quite happy so don't bother with them really you could buy a couple extra bottles of cider with the money it is great

[bobjugs12]

Yeah you have Sara. I've started mixing them with lager, chucking them in the blender and sticking it in there bottles

[annie0000]

What about havana cigars? Anyway, you could leave the baby with Granny after all she is 25 now and her life is basically over. She could keep it next to her brown baby that she has been wanting for ages. She finds that it is easier to find on the cream faux leather sofa.

[bobjugs12]

Good tip Cherry. The other thing is if you make your baby puke whilst queueing up to collect the Dole, people let go to the front.

[bobjugs12]

Annie. Cigars are for the pimps. I can't wait to buy the Fisher Price Babies First Rolled Cigarette Kit.

My mum doesn't have a faux leather couch. Hers is made from plastic. I didn't know you could make leather from fauxes? Is that why the dudes on the horses are always chasing them?

[zzxxee]

my kids always say mummy why are your hands so soft when im doing the dishes to which i reply
cos im only 14 now shut the f**k up and eat yer pot noddle !!!!!!

[Marijn]

You give your babies "supper"? How posh!

[Quentin_Crisp]

Pot Noodle? - Now that's a good idea for lunch

[zzxxee]

i know and turkey pot noodle on xmas day mum of the year is calling my name i think !!!!!

[cherrychapstick]

you are all Fluffing mad!!!!!

i am away.......................