Parents - sigh

[Weaza_cfc]

As a teen, i am intrigued to see this from a parental perspective. Sometimes my parents say or do or imply things in such a patronising, hypocritical manner it takes all my strength not use my fiery sarcasm tio it's advantage. Just because the majority of my generation, doesn't mean we all are. I can skip breakfast once because i don't feel like it and my dad will consequently watch me for a week, trying to spoon feed me anorexia horror stories off some teen docu-rant. Grrrr! it makes me want to scream! What is it with parents? Are you all this condisending and blind to any memories of your child-hood? What are your motives?! Will i be like that when i am older?!

[morg_monster]

Yes you will Weaza... sorry!  At 24 I am halfway between my teen years and parenthood and my views on things are really changing - now I can completely see why my parents treated me the way they did when I was younger, though at the time I thought it was so unfair and totally hated them.  Now I see teenagers around town and cringe inwardly as I know I acted the same way as them when I was their age, and now I just want to say "what do you look like? why are you behaving like that?!"  Obviously i just keep my gob shut though and a knowing look on my face.  Ultimately most of get through the teen years unscathed and pretty well rounded human beings.  Yes, even the boys...

Your parents are just so worried about you.  I'm sure that deep down they know you are basically sensible and wouldn't do anything stupid - but, what if one day you did, and they had never warned you?!  It'll ease off as you grow up.  Maybe next time you do something you know will get them on your back, get your facts right first so you can say "Well dad, there is a 14% chance that this navel piercing will get infected, though only a 1% chance of permanent scarring"...

[OBonio]

As someone coming out of 'doing what the hell I want because I make my own decisions' and into parenthood, I have to say I sympathise with parents. I always said I'd let my kids do what they wanted because of the way I felt when my parents stopped me doing things. I now see they were only doing it for my benefit and that they were looking out for me (no you can't go out with your pyromaniac friends). I can see myself applying similar disciplinary tactics as my parents and yes, the eldest of my kids will have the raw deal I suspect.... the youngest will probably get away with murder. I doubt you are alone in your thoughts about your parents but when you come to having your own, you will more than likely 'see the light'.

[Grunty]

And when your parents are old, the positions will be completely reversed.

[silly moo]

It's def a parent thing rather than an adult thing.
Worrying comes with the territory I'm afraid.
Then just as you stop worrying quite so much about your children your parents become more dependant.

[twiglet4frog]

only way i can describe having a kid thats 4 is like this, Imagine that someone that is very dear to u and means the world has passed away and that the only thing they gave to u was an egg, and they told u that it is important to them.

You would be so protective over that egg no matter what and the thought of a crack would devestate u and that fear eats away at u and makes u overprotective of everything u do with this egg and where u leave it. Because u care about the person that gave u it then u want it to be ok forever. Whereas other people go about cooking their eggs and lobbing them about.

In a way parenting is a lot like this, u spend all your life not really caring about anyone too much and then u suddenly have a child and it is like your egg, u are so scared of what happens to it, u are so scared for it more than yourself what might happen, wanting it to grow up to be a brilliant person and not have any problems that u have had to suffer and not like.

[Weaza_cfc]

I know that they are trying to protect me, but really, I am expected to be grown up in all other senses but then when it comes to some subjects they think I am a complete imbecile who needs to be lectured. Wow, 60% of 15 year olds have had un-protected sex, really? DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE!!

And I know I will be like that and then I will understand, when I have kids of my own, it's just difficult to understand now. But thank you, I will try and be more patient in future.

P.S. Liked the egg analogy, i think i get it now!

[nfn]

Just tell them that unless they are really nice to you now you'll have them put in a home when they're old! Mind you, they'll probably just say that in that case they'll spend your inheritance now!

Parents are a pain. Mine are and I know my son agrees with me!

[Hgrove]

Your parents sound just like mine and I am nearly 42 !  I sympathise with you.  I have a 6 yr old and I believe I have been very different, so far, from how my parents were with me.  What will happen when she is a teen, I don't know.  But I don't think it is written in stone that you are going to be like this with your own children.  I remember on the very rare occasions when I said I was not hungry at the table my mother would answer "try it before you speak".  Hello?  What language am I speaking?  I have certainly tried to treat my daughter with dignity and as someone with a brain!  I'll stop here before I rant...

[Otrere]

It's just all about caring. You'll understand when you're a parent. I really believe it's something you can never understand till you have your own children. God that sounds so "typical" of a parent but its true.

I'm 33 and have an almost 3 year old. She is the most precious thing in the world to me, my love for her is unconditional, I will always, always be there for her, she's beautiful, clever, polite (remember, I would say this, I'm her mother and despite the corny-ness, there is nothing like "a mother's love") and I am so very, very proud of her. I can't ever imagine life without her. It would destroy me.

All I want is for her to be happy and I've gone through life making many mistakes and getting very, very hurt and I love her so much (breathtaking love a lot of the time) that for her to be hurt would also hurt me and I'd hate to see her go through this. Its so hard to explain. The love for your child is just so overwhelming its hard to believe you could love someone so much no matter what and all you want is the very best for them and for them to be happy.

I lost my mum when my daughter was just 5 weeks old and this really made me appreciate what I have. There is so much I regret saying to my mum and so much I regret not saying to her. But she did her best by me as much as she could and I am 100% sure that your parents are doing the best by you as much as they can. They just don't want to see you get hurt and want you to be happy.

Like Andy Hughes said, be patient, they'll accept that you're an adult sooner or later.