Ridiculous I Know...... But Parent Advice Needed Please

[bednobs]

hi, my daughter is nearly 3 and has been going to nursery full time since she was 9 months old. Before she went to nursery we didn't go to many baby type groups for many reasons, and we are older parents, so don't have many peers with young children.
I am worried that my daughter isn't/wont be popular at nursery, or have any friends. We never really see the other parents at pick up/take in times because people are so busy they just want to do it, so don't get to know the others that way. i know one of the other mums who i got talking to at a nursery day out last year, but her child is in a different room than ours. i noticed from her FB this weekend there was a party for one of the children and i recognised a few of the children form nursery in the pictures, but my daughter wasn't invited. I assiduously wrote xmas cards from her to all the other children in her room (about 25 full and part time) and she got about 3 or 4 back.
How can i widen her (and my!) circle of friends when i work full time? And do i need to care anyway?

[China Doll]

Feck..... is buying presents still fashionable then? I was hoping a firm handshake would be enough.

[B00]

no, i made the fatal error on the first ever party invite Mini Boo got and wrapped up a 'token' present of colouring book and pencils! Didn't make that mistake again when I saw the birthday girl open up expensive ruddy toys from other kids, you haveta compete y'know, lol.

[DTCwordfan]

As someone has suggested, widen her contact points, be it an art session, library reading (no bad thing if they love books already), even playgroups and sessions in the park. She'll find little friends and if they get on, then think about a play date. Don't force it though, just let mother nature/fate come to you (all)!

Wait until your daughter is 5, has a playdate, and you are with her or his Mum with glasses of wine to hand, and your daughter decides to play 'make-up' and let's use Mum's Chanel!

[bednobs]

thanks again all - my very sensible colleague said something very similat B00 - careful what you wish for!

[sherrardk]

I have to deal with one of the things being invited but not the other - at 6 it is hard to understand. Your little one (I do remember her name) will be just fine. Most other parents are (IMHO) a pain in the butt.

[annie0000]

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting a non-baby :)

My two are 14 and 13 and I honestly don't even remember who they were at nursery with or keep in touch with anyone from those years.

School is really where friendships are made both for the children and parents as far as my experience goes. If you can manage to be there at pick up time from school on a reasonably regular basis it is definitely a better way to get to know parents of your daughters friends as she will be more into friends then - up until that age they are usually just playing beside people rather than making friends as such. You can also work out which people you might get along with better too when people maybe aren't so rushed picking up after work and running home to get an evening meal on etc.

And lastly, this is going to sound incredibly shallow, but making sure that that your child sometimes has things on that interest other children can help them to make friends. I don't mean here that you need to dress them top to toe in coveted designer gear, just that if she has a peppa pig t-shirt or a Frozen hair clip or something, kids will be interested and if they like the same thing will come over to see. I also don't think it's too early to encourage them in the art of conversation - definitely something I wish I had made more effort in. Such as asking questions or saying nice things to others. e.g. My name is x, what's your name? Do you like X?, I like your hair, it's pretty. etc etc.

[bednobs]

thanks for your advice annie - i have only just seen it