Mothers With 4/5Yr Old Children.

[trt]

My daughters son will be starting Primary School soon, and she is seriously worried, concerned, and dreading it.

She is even taking the week off work when he starts, so she can be available if anything happens.
She even joked that she was going to stand at the gates all day on his first day.

She is a fantastic Mother, (i know shes my daughter), but have you mothers gone through similar when your children started school, I don't remember my ex-wife being like that, or maybe people have changed.

He does 3 days at play school at the moment, and her first child.

[sherrardk]

I found it hard when each of mine started. It was particularly difficult when thing 2 started as he couldn't speak and I was the only one who could communicate with him. Your daughter just has to put a brave face on and save any tears for when her son is inside school - your grandson will be fine but your daughter could make him upset.

[bhg481]

"She's a fantastic mother" - not if she does what she says she's going to do. Her job, as a mother, is to teach her child how to survive in this world WITHOUT her, not to carry him everywhere. If she tries it again at secondary school her son will really get some stick from his classmates.

[gness]

A bit like I was with my daughter, Trt....and she didn't go to playschool. I hated the thought of her being at school all day....I loved being her mum and having her company....
In fact I was the only parent in the school not to let a child stay for school dinners...... I was waiting at the gate long before noon......☺

She bounced out....announced she would like to stay for dinner with her new friends and loved every minute of her schooldays.......I had to make do with the school holidays...... :-(

I was often accused of being over protective of my children...I had my reasons.....but both have grown up into fantastic, independent and confident adults.

It's a big step for a mum as well as for the child but I'm sure your daughter will do what's best for the lad on the day......if she can put on a front for him.....make out it's a great big happy adventure and smile all will be well....

Then she can go home...close the door and howl.....☺

[EDDIE51]

I have 5 children and 12 grandchildren all changed effortlessly from playgroup to school . Your daughter has to be able to 'let go', acting the way she is will make the child too dependant on her to progress normally at school. Play group will have prepared the children for 'Big School' so the kids just see it as part of the normal run of things. If the child senses that his Mum is worried about the new school it will make him nervous about it as he will think of it as something to fear rather than a natural progresion.

[EDDIE51]

The only problem we had with my eldest son was he cried on the Saturday at the end of his first week in primary because he could not go to school and he liked it so much.

[jno]

nervous parents make for nervous children. She should drop him off and go home. If he's already enjoying play school he'll be fine with school.

[barbara1835]

Yes I agree with all these comments (as mother and teacher).

It sounds as if your daughter is seriously over-anxious. If the boy is used to play school he will have no bother making the transition.

Many a time I have had mothers hovering and unable to tear themselves away
in spite of broad hints from me, and making the child upset.

When mother did go, the child had no difficulty in immediately becoming involved with the classroom environment.

Most schools have an induction day for new children to see the classroom and meet the teacher.

Also she could go along with the little boy in the morning or afternoon to see the other children going in and out.

[VHG]

I remember watching one of my children get on a coach to go on a school trip.

One mother was standing on the pavement crying her eyes out, and the child was on the coach crying her eyes out.

In the end the child got off the coach and missed the school trip.

Tell your daughter to drop off her son at school and then walk away. Don't look back.

After 5 minutes on his own he will be fine.

[gness]

My daughter didn't even make it onto the coach for her first school trip, VHG.

I found out that the coaches used didn't have seat belts....there was no way a child of mine was traveling unbelted.....so I drove her to the place they were visiting and collected her at the end of the trip.

I then started a campaign to have seat belts fitted in school coaches.

[roopower]

I had pangs when my second child started school but that's what happens and your daughter must square her shoulders and get used to the idea. Having worked in schools for years I know that even if a child cries, within minutes of mum disappearing the tears dry up. Some children cry because they think it's expected of them. Comments like "You won't cry, will you?"don't help. I'm sure your grandson will have a great time at school and will have a lot to tell his mum at the end of the day.

[trt]

Thanks for all your comments, and it seems she is not the only one that gets concerned.

[pixie373]

That's understandable for the first day, but they'll both be fine. By the end of the first week, it's more "omg! Time to pick him up!" X

[Elina]

Normal worries of every parent Trt.

[ummmm]

I had no problems walking away. I did fret and worry a bit but needs must and all that.

My main worry was my middle child. The poor child was hounded by girls. He was so tiny when he started school (still in age 2 clothes) that they flocked round him and tried to mother him.

[Retrochic]

trt if she is working who was looking after him during the day time? Can't understand what the difference is between leaving a child with a minder and going to work and leaving a child to go to school.