Hoop Jumping

[melv16]

Whilst I was on holiday my daughter took delivery of our second adoptive granddaughter, at only a week old.
The powers that be stipulate that for the following six months the birth mother has the right to see her three times a week for 2 hours. That means a social worker picks her up, takes her to a family centre and observes the birth mother with the baby.
Hopefully, she will repeat her behaviour with my first grandchild and pack it in after a couple of visits.

[wolf63]

It must be hard not knowing if your new granddaughter is staying with you or the mother might change her mind.

I really hope that it goes well and that your daughter will have two little girls.

[Rockrose]

Its not really hoop jumping though is it?

[melv16]

It's almost certain that my daughter will get custody. But at a critical time for the baby to bond with her, she is whisked away for nine hours a week.
The law is the law, I suppose.

[gness]

Ah...but those two hours aren't going to be natural and comforting hours, Melv.......the time with your daughter and the family will be...and very special hours when baby returns....

I do know how distressing this wait is....long six months if it does continue, isn't it......but seems it may not be that long...

Enjoy your new granddaughter...... Gx

[melv16]

Thanks for the kind replies, wolf and gness. She doesn't know until the morning of the visit whether the birth mother can be arsed to turn up.

[bednobs]

if she's been adopted, the mother can't change her mind can she? (assuming she is allowed a say anyway)

[anneasquith]

Melv. It's a very difficult time for everyone. Spare a thought for the mother, As you know contact may not proceed as arranged. Give it time and all will " work out " .

[anneasquith]

Melv. It's a very difficult time for everyone. Spare a thought for the mother, As you know contact may not proceed as arranged. Give it time and all will " work out " .

[Mamyalynne]

I know it must seem difficult, but oh what joy awaits at the end of the process - hope everything goes well Melv.

[anneasquith]

Oops , sorry about the double .

[melv16]

I do spare a thought for the mother and I think she needs help. However, the child always comes first in matters like these.
I gather that the meetings are used for the birth mother to come to terms with losing the baby.

[murraymints]

oh dear..seems heartbreaking ....show a carrot... don't think I agree with this..due process should beforehand be followed to my thinking

[albaqwerty]

When I gave up my daughter for adoption, that was it.
No seeing her ever again, a thrice weekly 2 hour visit would have been cruel in the extreme imo.

Hope all goes well Melv xx

[Minkyme]

Well surely the biological mother should have a chance with her daughter to see whether she wants to keep it or not which would be the ideal humanitarian situation.

[murraymints]

hugs Albs x

[murraymints]

should that not be decided before breaking more hearts ? nope...once the decision has been made that should be it

[melv16]

Minky. She is the birth mother of my first grandchild. She was in a foster mother's care and did a runner when the baby was 12wks old.
When she came out of hospital over a week ago she refused to go into a mother and baby unit. The judge immediately gave the order for fostering /adoption order.

[anneasquith]

The adoption process is very complex for the birth mother/family and the adopting mother/family. Everyone has " rights" mostly the baby/child.

[murraymints]

melv ..my heart is with you xx

[ummmm]

Melv - I hope it goes in the favour of your daughter.

I feel for the birth mother. do you know her history?

Some people just don't learn how to be good parents because their own parents were crap.