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I take slight exception to the idea that no teenager is emotionally capable of bringing up a child as my second wife had her son ( not my natural son) when she was 17 and he was a positive credit to her when we married.She studied whilst rearing him and got her degree and never claimed any benefit whatsoever, although you'd never imagine it by the remarks she gets to this day if she mentions she was a mother at 17.
I think young mothers get unjustified derisory looks, have to suffer castigation and unpleasantness from the rest of society and are generally percieved to be "easy" or immoral in some way when of course they are doing no more than the older women who look down their noses at them.
Not all young mother's are Vicky Pollards
Just wanted to know as I'm 17 and have an eleven week old baby and whilst walking through Tesco carpark to do my shopping with my baby in a baby carrier a man said loudly "oh look a wean with a wean" which upset me as I think I'm a good mum to my child and would do anything for him.I don't think it should matter what age you have children as long as you look after them phsyically and emotionally in order for them to have a safe and happy upbringing.This man is more immature than me if he feels he has comment on my age.
You're dead right wee_angel, it amazes me that someone will happily be proud of their 16 year old going into the army where they'll conceiveably get killed but people throw their hands up in horror at a teenage mother. If you're old enough to wield a gun, you'r old enough to be trusted to bring a baby up and it's my opinion that most teenage mother's do a damn good job. My wife's son never felt he was disadvantaged by having a young mother, quite the opposite and he's just completed his own degree now and is a lovely lad so has turned out alright.Don't pay any heed to people, they always have to have a moan about someone.Just you enjoy your baby, he's worth every second:)
Physiologically, humans are designed to have children when in their teens. It is the safest time for a woman to do so.
It is society that has changed in it's attitude towards young mums. Young mum's are the most natural thing in the world and should be supported by a caring society and not condemend as an oddity
As a species we need healthy young mums, but as a society, we look down our noses at them. Maybe, being civilised has made us less kind and caring and a great deal more judgemental.
Best wishes and good luck to you and your child.
But Pippa, only a few decades ago, ALOT of mums were teenage mums. In my parents day, it was very unusual to wait until your late twenties or thirties to have children. Most folk had their families young. Now I know you'll say that most of them were married (which is of course true) and that to an extent there was an extended family in place to help bring up the children, but really and truly, a 19 year old in the 1960s had FAR less living under their belt than a 19 year old in this century and were far less emotionally capable of bringing up children. Yet apparently, there were no problems in those days, yet now, teenage mums can be made to feel like the scourge of our society. How weird is that????
angel pet (you Scottish??) don't you worry about old busybodies that judge you, just you get on with bringing up your wee guy. I was 33 when I became a mum 2 years ago, and you have my un-ending admiration for being able to to what you do at only 17. Good luck to you babes. I like the name by the way, I know a very handsome, successful property owner called Jayden, who's a lovely, lovely bloke.
I would not have wanted to be one.
However, I don't see, why they should not be good mothers. There are probably just as much 'bad' older mothers around.
The matter is, did you want the child, do you love your child, are you able to look after your child.
If the answer is yes, yes, yes, then good luck to any mother no matter what age.
Unfortunately, attitudes towards teenage mums has been coloured by the fact that a lot of very young mums have babies because to be young, single and pregnant has become a fashion statement directed by celebrities and the media. Very little thought is given by these girls to the baby itself and their responsibilities and often their mothers are the ones that end up bringing up baby. I witness so many very young girls gathering with their prams in our local town centre and still acting as if they were 12 years old, with no regard to their babies.
In general I totally agree with downloader. I also believe that if you can provide a firm foundation for a child then age is irrespective. And, sorry to sound like an old fogey, I believe that having two commited parents in a secure relationship is still best. However, I accept the fact that this isn't always possible and one good parent can be excellent.
Best wishes to you and your babe wee-angel - you sound like a lovely mum. The man in the car park was rude and ignorant and totally immature.
For a start, an opinion was asked ~ & I gave mine!
I never once indicated that I thought teen mums are a scourge on society, nor did I imply that I 'look down my nose' at them. If a teenager has the emotional & financial resources to care for a child then that's great ~ however many do not, & generally this is the case (I can only come to a general conclusion I'm afraid).
Something has been mentioned about the fact that it was common for teenagers to have children years ago ~ this is true (as it appears to be now) & yes, a lot of them were married (most aren't now) & the extended family was in force (ditto). A lot of those parents are still together, a lot are now divorced. I disagree about the maturity comment. I believe teenagers were more mentally mature in those days as generally they were brought up not so babied!
The ideal age to have children from a medical point of view is in your mid 20's. What needs to be considered is the fact that we are talking about children having children, & although it happens & I am sure there are many great young parents ~ it isn't ideal.
Good luck wee_angel you seem a very responsible, happy parent :o)
I must agree with Pippa that teenagers in the 60's were more mentally mature than those nowadays. I was one, and believe me I lived life to the full, travelled and took on much more responsibility than most kids do now. We were not molly coddled as much and had to make our own way in life. We integrated into society much better as there was no 'teenage' subculture.
Wee angel dont let others comments ruin your happiness with your child. You are probably feeling emotional especially if he is only 11 weeks old. People feel they have a right to judge others. As a childminder i often have 2 or 3 children of various races and ages and twice when out have overheard comments such as another benefit scrounger with kids who have different fathers. It will eat away at you if you let it. Rise above and feel secure in the knowledge that you obviously love your son and no matter your circumstances or age your business is your business. Good luck and enjoy your bubba
gessoo, how ever can you say there was no teenage subculture in the 60's? Entire tomes have been written on this subject and it is part of social and political history studies all over the world.also I'd disagree about kids today being less mature. I actually think they are more mature, take more of a interest in the wider world around them at a younger age and accomplish more than we ever did in comparison.I think you are referring to a very small segment of society that gets a lot of press, the Chav, and not to teenagers in general who have a great deal more to contend with now than earlier generations.
I think what gessoo was getting at is that teenagers in the 40's,50's & 60's (and maybe even in the 70's) seemed to spend much more time with their parents & extended families & were taught more about marriage, family life & children. Rightly or wrongly girls in particular were mainly brought up to learn certain aspects of household budgets, raising children & housewifely duties :o) boys were encouraged to get a good career in order to support their families.
This doesn't happen nowadays ~ & even though the 70's & 80's had it's fair share of teenage mums, I think that a fair percentage of them felt that their lives had either been stalled or *gasp* in fact 'ruined' from having children too early. My mother had me at 19 years old and always says it can be a waste of a young life to have children so young ~ she is drawing from her own experience, & claims that girls nowadays have so many more opportunities than she did..that shouldn't be denied.
What we are discussing is 'what do we think of teen mums' well of course there are the ones who are fabulous, will go through life raising their children in a loving & caring home. There is also a large % of teen mums who have had their babies in order to leave home, get a flat & financial benefits. With some, this is their only interest & once the 'cute baby' becomes a real blot on their lives the trouble can start as the mum will feel that maybe she wasn't emotionally ready at all. All these scenarios should be discussed on their own merits, & I am sure that wee_angel realises this :o)
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I was married & became a teen Mum at nearly 18 & was a very good, sensible Mum at that.
Mr Smudge & I went on to bring up two beautiful, intelligent, caring, loving, industrious daughters.
When I was 26 & the girls were well established in their schools, I went back to work & stayed at the same Company for 26 years, working my way up the ladder to become a Company Secretary. (I am not blowing my own trumpet - but it is possible to juggle more than one ball in the air & not all teen Mums should be tarred with the same brush).
You do not have to be in your 20's, 30's or 40's to have a baby, or to be a good mother!
(I hadn't noticed this thread before, but replied on the other one Here too).
