Help!

[emmalee]

Our eight year old has just decided he dosnt want to go to school anymore! We are having very emotional mornings, upset cause he's upset, guilt cause we are making him go and frustration cause we cant find out what the problem is! He has come up with at least five reasons why, but according to school staff are these are just not true. Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do about it?

[madham]

I had a similar problem when my son was 6 and it was out of insecurity as my Mum and Dad split up and his Dad and girlfriend split up and him and me (my Son) moved house all with a few months of each other.

He even went through a short phase of wetting the bed too as he was scared I wasn't going to be there when he came home, suffice to say after approx 6-8 months he settled down and never looked back.

Because he is a little older is he finding the work too hard/easy, also this is a time when things like dyslexia/colour blindness etc. are brought to attention. Has anything changed in your Son's life? Also, regardless of what the teacher says check no one is picking on him, bullies are very very sly.

Hope this helps.

[jlroberts15]

What were the reasons? there is quite often an element of truth in what children say, they may just get somethings wrong or exaggorate. The answer may be in some of things he said.

[Hellion]

Try to get another trusted adult male to chat to him about anything that might be troubling him. My 8 year old will often come up with bizzarre reasons as to what is troubling him when actually he's just 'scared' or 'tired' but feels he can't tell us, not because we are ogres but because he just doesn't want to say 'actually I'm frightened'. A nother chap can sometimes sort it out by saying 'you know what I get scared/worried too'. Hope it helps.

Of course it might just be he's gone off the whole idea of school - I sometimes don't want to go to work!

[BlueHeaven]

I had a similar experience with my child recently. It is very upsetting for you, I know, and I'm sorry to hear you're going through it. In my daughter's case, it was because she felt she was under too much pressure from her out-of-school dance club as well as not getting along with her school teacher & finding the school work not challenging enough. We had a meeting with the Head & Deputy Head and they must have had a word with the teacher, as she treats my daughter much better now. She gave up her dance club and joined Brownies instead and is sooo much happier now, she's like a different person! It was awful at the time as it was like she was having a small person's mid-life crisis!

Just make sure your son knows he can tell you absolutely anything. Don't force him to talk about it unless he wants to otherwise he might just shut you out completely like my daughter initially did. I don't really have any advice to offer except to make sure the Head takes you seriously if you speak to him/her (and I recommend doing that). Perhaps you could buy him a diary and explain to him that he can write down how he feels each day and show it to you if he wants you to see it. You will get to the bottom of it, but please don't beat yourself up about it or feel guilty, the situation will get resolved in the end.