Child Care

[chani1972]

I desperately want to stay working but I can't find a child minder that takes children over 11 yrs. I have one of 15 and one of 13. Where are they supposed to go??

[noxlumos]

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but why does a 15 and 13 year old need a child minder? If they are special needs in some way please forgive me, but otherwise they should be perfectly capable of looking after themselves, they're nearly adults.

[WendyS]

I tend to agree with noxlumos. . If reared sensibly a child of 15 should be capable of looking after itself for a couple of hours after school, and keeping an eye on a a younger sibling of 13 until you return from work. Make sure they know what to do in an emergency, and which neighbour to contact if there's a problem. Also tell them to stay in the house and not answer the door to strangers. I think kids are over-protected these days and need a little space to develop some independent skills, which includes looking after each other and learning to cope for short periods on their own. If you have set up appropriate emergency back-up arrangements, you will probably be surprised how well they cope. As to where are they supposed to go, your children should be old enough and have enough interests to stay at home and not roam the streets. Don't they have homework to do? Piano practice? Computers to work on? Books to read? Jigsaw puzzles to do? TV to watch? Model aircraft to make? Bedrooms to tidy? Giving them some free space may even help develop their self confidence. Perhaps it's time for the 15 year old to start learning to take some responsibility.
If you're still unhappy about taking this step, why not ask your employer if you can work part time?.

[Hellion]

Lots of schools, libararies, sports centres have 'After School' type groups why not see if one of your local ones have something suitable.

[horsestache1]

15 and 13!!!!!!!

Does the school they go to have any after school clubs they could join? like sports clubs, art clubs etc.

Or get then to tidy up and have YOUR tea on the table when you get in>

[Lore]

If you ask at their school they usually have a list of local childminders, I know we do at our school.

[meltoadhall]

i have to say that i agree with the fact that they shouldnt need to have a childminder at their age now.
oh and all of the above about responsibility

[Liza B]

Hi I have to agree with what the other posts say. I have just started working and my kids are 15 and 13, and are fine left on their own, most of the time thay are out with friends, we live in a small town and there are both sets of grandparents, two aunties and 18 year old sister who has moved out. Even if I don't get back for dinner they know where the freezer and the microwave is.
You have to give them some indendence at some point, as long as they have mobiles that you can get in touch whenever you need to they will be fine.

[Primular]

When my kids got to 12 &14, I had an arrangement with a very good friend who had kids of the same age. She was there for them if they needed help with anything and as "payment" I would give her a bottle of wine, chocolates et. I have no immediate family around, so I know how hard it is. I also used to have her kids over for the night at weekends or even the week so she and hubby could go out. Dont worry it does not last for long. I now dont see either of them these days, except at mealtimes and taxi times.

[peanut]

My kids are 11 and 13 and i would not trust them as far as i could throw them. No way would i allow them to be alone in this house for 5 seconds. They will get into everything. All they do is get into things and steal, not to mention break everything they can get thier little hands on. None of the family will watch them either because of this. They are too old for daycare, and its summer no school. So if anyone has a suggestion for chani1972 im sure many of us would like to hear it.

[chani1972]

Thank you all for your replies. My dilemma is mainly because I will soon be moving 200 miles, to the Isle of Wight. Until my company opens a store on the island I have to commute to Southampton daily. This adds 2 1/2 to my already 8 hour day. I also work shifts, with a late shift getting me home around 10pm, and an early meaning i need to leave the house at around 5.15am. My partner will be there for the early start but he is a chef so works evenings. :-( Im about to be promoted to manager and really want to stay there. :-( my closest relative is 15 miles away and as yet i havent got any friends on the island that i can trust my kids too :-( Im sure it will work out in the end, its just the starting hurdles to get over.

[curiosity]

Thats difficult, cos even though they are old enough, they probably wouldn't want to be alone latish at night on a frequent basis. But this is where maybe a babysitter not child minder might be helpful, perhaps a student who might not charge too much and would probably be grateful of an "easy" babysitting job, whilst your kids might feel a bit better having someone older there on some occasions. But they can probably manage once or twice themselves. Good Luck

[FlowerPetal]

Chani, i agree with Curiosity. Having a babysitter in the form of a responsible student or even an older person to whom they may even build a surrogate Granparent relationship with.
Why not try getting somebody who would not come around until 6pmish. That way, it gives your kids a bit of responsibility for a few hours. Then the sitter could stay until you or your husband gets home.
Good luck, i know how hard it is to get childcare for older children and if i won the lottery - thats my business plan!!!!!