Giving Birth

[MiniN]

Ok , tell the truth how awfully painful is childbirth?

[ganesh]

I don't like the ideas that if your calm and relaxed and breathe properly,that it will be a doddle.These lucky women are implying that people who have unbearable pain,and there are many, are either lying or just aren't doing it properly.And that if you have an epidural you have somehow 'failed'.
I had an extremely painful second birth and after 20 hours of it resorted to the epidural-it was brilliant.After another 10 hours I was told to push which I did and everything was fine,with no more screams.
Isn't it less stressful for Mum and baby to have a pain free birth?
Ones that have easy births are just lucky or physically built better and I envy them,but please don't assume that wer'e all just wimps because we have severely painful experiences.

[redcrx]

Just to add, i cant see anyones mentioned it, the pressure that makes you want to push is actually focused mainly around your bottom.
At times the contractions just felt like i was constipated and needed to evacuate my bowels although they were 100 times worse than any constipation id ever experienced
In fact, many may tell you that some women actually poo during labour, this is perfectly normal and you may not even know youve done it as they midwives clear it up and make no fuss. It is also a good sign if it does happen (it doesnt always) and means that babys head is moving down well.

[ganesh]

You have to face it, all your dignity is lost anyway,so a bit of poo is the least of your worries. Must be unpleasant for the midwives,though I expext they get used to it(just like changing nappies).

[mcleavey]

its really not that bad i.ve had 2children and the thought of doing it again is a welcome one and shes only 11 weeks old just remember the birth plan can change and just try and keep calm and let nature take its course

[trionam]

absolutley everyone is different my sister had a caeserean last night after 24 hours in labour she was only 2cm dialated so it just wasnt happening for her the doctor said something about her cervix being too thick so different bodies will experiance different levels of pain, I had an epidural on my first and I thought it was great I had been using gas and air for as long as I could but it kept making me sick so I had to stop.I will definatley opt for an epidural again if I get the chance.

[maggie01]

Everyone's pain barrier is different. My first labour was very long and I ended up delivering with forceps under a general aneasthetic. The second one was born 1 1/2hrs after arriving at hospital. I did have an embarrasing moment when I pushed but the midwife was great and told me not to worry.

[curiosity]

ganesh I would like to point out that I at no point said using epidurals meant you had failed or indeed that people who have easier births arn't lucky and certainly didn't say anyone was a wimp, I find your answer quite defensive so you obviously think these things not me.

[ganesh]

Sorry curiosity-didn't imply an attack from anyone, I am a bit defensive about the whole subject when I get some people with the 'I don't know what all the fuss is about' attitude.
I had a particularly rough time ith giving birth, even though my normal 'pain threshold' is quite high. I din't need anything after an appendectomy even though I was frequently offered morphine. I found breast-feeding a doddle but would'nt dream of saying that all women should find it so if they just relax a bit and breathe properlry!
Don't you find though that some women say rather proudly that they got through it without any pain relief? So yes, when these things are said it does make me feel a bit of a wimp.
Sorry to get on my soapbox and I din't mean to have a go at you curiosity.

[ganesh]

Anyway,to go back to the original question, I would say that every woman and even every birth is different, so if it's really painful try the various pain relief offered,and if it's unbearable and going slowly then go for the epidural.The only thing I haven't tried is a water birth so I don't know if that makes a difference.,
I've had two births,one with and one without the ultimate pain relief and I know which one I preferred!
Good luck.

[cy marven]

Been through it loads of times and was not too bad..... wife seemed in a bit of pain though.:+) cy marven

[redcrx]

ganesh,
of course some women say that they got through childbirth without pain relief proudly. I am amazed and very proud of myself for having done that. Doesnt mean that i am not pleased for any woman who goes through childbirth, be it vaginal or c-section, with drugs or without. Any woman who has had any experience and got through it should be proud of what she has acheived in my opinion.
Im sure you are proud of the fact that you breastfed regardless of whether it was a doddle or not, youd be pleased with yourself either way wouldnt you?

[ganesh]

Yes ,we should all be pleased with ourselves for giving birth. The fact that we got through it in severe pain and needed drugs should be irrelevant. That is exactly my point.
Why are you PROUD that you were lucky enough not to need any help?-it implies that mothers who do have an epidural shouln't be as proud.
If I went to the dentist I wouln't come out and say how proud I was because I refused an injection for my filling .And I don't feel I've done better than another woman who wasn't able to breastfeed because it was too painful for her. I was just lucky not to have any problems with it.
I 'got through ' my first birth without an epidural and the second one I didn't. I don't feel any more proud of my first achievment than I do my second.

[redcrx]

ganesh,
my point is that we should be proud whatever our individual circumstances are. I am proud of my drug free birth as it it a personal achievement for myself given my fears of childbirth and anything medical, needles included. Perhaps if i could handle needles Id have asked for every drug going but we shall never know so I can only speak from my own experience and how i amazed myself that day.

A person running the marathon would be proud of themselves, regardless of whether they ran it in 2 hours or walked it in a day purely because they achieved something they maybe didnt think they could. If they didnt finish and had to be carried to the finish line, theyd still have every right to be proud of what they had done.

Its a personal journey, and we have every right to be proud regardless of experience because we did it.
I certainly dont use my drugfree labour to make those that had drugs as an 'Im better than you' argument.
Everyone is different, I was a lucky one with my labour i admit that but that does not mean i cant be proud of myself

[ganesh]

I absolutely agree with you, and I'm not having a go at you for that. Can you see my point though that when Mums say,I'ts not so bad, I managed it without drugs, that they make you feel that you have failed by not suffering without help. A better analogy would be to say " I ran the marathon but you walked it. We both achieved the same result but you kinda cheated, or you ran the marathon but you had steroids,so it doesn't really count.
I'm glad you felt proud of yourself. You should be,but everyones pain is different in each birth, and sometimes the pain is so unbearable,that you cannot do it 'naturally'.

[lynneylou]

I has a water birth and yes, it was painful and hard work but I think it would've been worse out of the water and its amazing that as soon as your baby is born the pain is forgotten.

[ganesh]

Yes, I bet the warmth of the water is soothing but I was unable to have it as my babies had to be monitored for a lot of the time. The pain is definately over once your baby is born,but in my case,not forgotten!

[redcrx]

Id have loved a water birth but my son had to be monitored all the time because he was so overdue. I did manage to persuade midwife to allow me a long hot bath in early stages and it was amazing how much the warm water helped with the top end of the pain.