The K M Links Game - November 2024 Week...
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son calling me names.
My son keeps calling me a b1tch. As i'm a househusband this is getting really annoying and confusing. I then punish him by turning the tv off or taking his toys of him, he knows its not right to say it, he says sorry but if i dont give him back his toy or switch the tv back on i'm then called it again. "if you dont put the tv back on i'm gonna call you a b1tch all night" any help much appreatiated
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I know this is a bit random, but it's interesting that he's calling you a 'bitch' when you are a househusband... Maybe he's articulating his confusion that you are a man and not a housewife, and he is trying to connect meanings to your gender and media/social portrayal of women in relation to your assumed role in the family. I know his isn't practical advice, but it was just a thought. Obviously I'm not saying that it's a bad thing that this is your role - just that maybe a lot of his behaviour is your son trying to understand something that might be not the norm. :)
Personally, I would try ignoring it and playing the hard nut role.
If he calls you this name and then you punish him and then he says that if you don't retract the punishment he will call it you again, then he is making the rules. He is only 4 and 4 year olds aren't allowed to make the rules. I appreciate that we teach our children resect by respecting them but you need to respect yourself also. I would try playing the card that he can do what he wants, what do you care if he calls you a b1tch? you will only add to the punishment until it stops. You are not trying to beg him to stop, you are telling him to. You punish him once and stick to your guns no matter what. If he does it again, then add to the punishment again, eg, first offence, no TV; second offence, no TV and no playstation; third offence, no tv, no playstation and no sweets for a week etc etc. he has to understand that he cannot blackmail his way out of it.
Parenting is never easy and the fact that you are upset by this and trying to correct it makes you a wonderful and caring parent. Remember also, that all things come to pass and he is not going to introduce you on his wedding day as "B1tch of the groom". He is perhaps trying to find out how much he can push you and is starting to exert his masculinity over you. I have the exact same thing with my 4 daughters (obviously trying to run my house for me) but no such issues with my son. However, my husband and my son are continually sparring for top dog position. I think it may be a little to do with age and same sex child to parent relationship. It is because your role is more unusual that it is not as talked about as problems wives have with their daughters.
Good luck and I hope it sorts itself out soon. Things like this often do. especially if the reaction becomes undesirable to the perpetrator and also boring.
If he calls you this name and then you punish him and then he says that if you don't retract the punishment he will call it you again, then he is making the rules. He is only 4 and 4 year olds aren't allowed to make the rules. I appreciate that we teach our children resect by respecting them but you need to respect yourself also. I would try playing the card that he can do what he wants, what do you care if he calls you a b1tch? you will only add to the punishment until it stops. You are not trying to beg him to stop, you are telling him to. You punish him once and stick to your guns no matter what. If he does it again, then add to the punishment again, eg, first offence, no TV; second offence, no TV and no playstation; third offence, no tv, no playstation and no sweets for a week etc etc. he has to understand that he cannot blackmail his way out of it.
Parenting is never easy and the fact that you are upset by this and trying to correct it makes you a wonderful and caring parent. Remember also, that all things come to pass and he is not going to introduce you on his wedding day as "B1tch of the groom". He is perhaps trying to find out how much he can push you and is starting to exert his masculinity over you. I have the exact same thing with my 4 daughters (obviously trying to run my house for me) but no such issues with my son. However, my husband and my son are continually sparring for top dog position. I think it may be a little to do with age and same sex child to parent relationship. It is because your role is more unusual that it is not as talked about as problems wives have with their daughters.
Good luck and I hope it sorts itself out soon. Things like this often do. especially if the reaction becomes undesirable to the perpetrator and also boring.
Entirely agree with mimfifi on this.
Your son is at an age where he is finding the boundaries, and pushing them to check they are there. You set the bondaries, not him, and you make sure he stays inside them. It may take a few goes, but you must be firm and consistant. never ever threaten something you won't carry through. Be the adult, and he will slot into being the child. If you don't enforce your rules now, your son will make your life a misery. It's your way of loving him. Trust us.
Your son is at an age where he is finding the boundaries, and pushing them to check they are there. You set the bondaries, not him, and you make sure he stays inside them. It may take a few goes, but you must be firm and consistant. never ever threaten something you won't carry through. Be the adult, and he will slot into being the child. If you don't enforce your rules now, your son will make your life a misery. It's your way of loving him. Trust us.
Yes, what Mimi and andy says is absolutely right. We have no rules in our house at all except the rule of "cause and effect" and "use your common sense" which covers everything. If one of my kids used bad language they would be ignored, but when they required something like watching TV etc, they wouldn't be able to because that is the effect of their earlier actions.
Stick to your guns with what's acceptable or not and after a little while you won't have a problem, you'll just have nice kids who self discipline and behave as you'd wish them to.
Stick to your guns with what's acceptable or not and after a little while you won't have a problem, you'll just have nice kids who self discipline and behave as you'd wish them to.
Hi mnko, most of the replies are spot on, dont listen to all the people who say dont punish them or try talking trust me it doesnt work, my son did the same at that age except he kept calling me a b***tard, he was denied all his priveleges including cuddles, he knew that to get love he had to deserve love...be strong no matter how frustrating it is, i found ignoring and denying him the basic love and attention he took for granted, always worked...my son is now 18 and he has never sworn since, and now tells me off if i happen to let rip at anyone.. i admire househusbands and think you have the right attitude, and hope you are as successful as i was with my parenting skills..i have a son any parent would be proud of and i am a single mother. Plain, simple and traditional discipline just like what our parents taught us.. good luck
I have the same problem with my hyperactive son who's 3 next month. He calls me this, (his mum), and my parents and in fact some shop assistants and says it at random times when i'm out with him.. Not only that but he also uses the word w*ore!
He has only recently started to do this and i have tried ignoring it and naughty corner etc but to no avail!
He has only recently started to do this and i have tried ignoring it and naughty corner etc but to no avail!
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