grandparent annoying?????

[maggie2708]

my daughter is 8 weeks old. just wondering anyone else get annoyed with grandparents interfering and telling you what to do and constantly checking you are doing everything right????? its driving me mad what shoud i do. someone helppppp

[lilacben]

Oh dear I hope you arent one of my daughters.?No sorry what I mean is us grandparents are really only trying to hlep. I try sooooooooo hard not to interfere with my seven grandchildren but at times I fail miserably. You didnt say what side the grandparents are on. If it is yours then try to say thankyou mum but I do know what I am doing but should I get stuck I will alwas ask you. Otherwise things will become hard all round. Even if you have to just say yes and no to everything but just carry on as you think best. But please remember it is only because we care. god luck. Brendax

[maggie2708]

its husbands side of family.
eg:doctor said it was ok to give my daughter calpol as she was 8 weeks old.mother in law found out and phoned and said make sure she can have it it isnt good to give her dont give her too much keep an eye on her. do you want me to have her for a bit etc etc they moan at everything. when i moved daughter into her own room at 3 weeks old that was huge problem. i know me and husband young but she needs to let go. agree or disagree????

[winny]

Oh soooo hard to help. Is hubby supporting or turning blind eye?
Hang in there it might wear off when baby starts to get bit older. Is it the first grandchild. Is there another sympathetic daughter-in-law you can talk to.
I was very lucky my mum always said I will give advice and opinion but will understand you will listen and make your own decision in the end. They are only trying to help in their own way try and be patient they will hopefully realize you are not making too bad a job of it.

[lilacben]

Yes maggie2708 I do agree they need to let go. MY youngest daughter has this with her mother-in-law. Ask your husband to have a word with his mother, a strong but tactful one.Or other wise there will be bad feelings.I keep telling my daughter to just bite her tongue and say nothing.she did say something once and it caused awful tension. So again I would say to you just smile and ignore.love Brenda x

[Mammar]

She does need to step back. However, if you straight-out tell her that you risk alienating a very valuable family member and risk making an enemy. And you may just need her one day.
It's so hard for a young mum when you're already coping with so many changes.
Look at your daughter. She's lovely, isn't she? You've done alright so far, haven't you?
Well, keep telling yourself that and carry on holding your temper because it will pay off in the long run.
All the best to your lovely little family x x

[maggie2708]

thankyou sooooo much for your responses. yo have all given me great confidence in that i am not alone. hopefully my husband will soon see that i complain for reasons and not just because i dislike his mother (which i have reason iam not a woman hater). it is really hard to bite my tounge i suppose it will get better soon but why should i have to put up??? just the other day she visited and took my daughter from me and sat there playing with her and didn't speak a word to me. then she just left, my husband was out at the time he says he understands but i don't feel he does. thankyou for all your help xxx

[andy-hughes]

It's a tough one, and i do sympathise with you.

Take a deep breath and think -

the concept of motherhood is brand new to you, and the concept of grandmotherhood is very new to your mum-inlaw too, so everyone is adjusting to the new situation, and the new little person that everyone wants the best for.

As an experienced mum, your m-i-l will be trying to help. I know that it almost always fels like interfering, butbelieve me, that is her motive, she maybe just has trouble being tactful and stepping back so you can 'have a go' at things for yourself.

Speaking as a gradndad, my wife and I have been really careful to avoid 'butting in' but it is hard! Your m-i-l will get better as she adjusts to the situation, promise!

the advice that you smile and nod and do what you think is best is spot on - this is your baby, to be raised as you and your husband see fit. Your m-i-lmay have issues - but she will be advised to keep them to herself!

This initial 'novelty' period doesn't last long, then everyone settles down to life, and you get to carry on being mum, with a little help (and that is what is offered, honestly!) and support when you need it.

Enjoy your new baby!

[meltoadhall]

I would just suggest agreeing and nodding and then doing what you feel is right, if she appears on the doorstep and you dont want to see her tell her you were just going out (anywhere) and go - even if going out is the last thing you want to do. Eventually she she ought to get the message and ring first.
try telling her that you thank her for her opinion, but you are doing it differently and if you need advice you will ask her.

[spanner7853]

yep and unfortunately you need to nip that in the bud. Mine still do it now and my children are 13 and 10 and not only that I'm not with there dad anymore and they still manage to interfere. I dont have any parents anymore so luckily I dont have it from both sides. Congrats on the new baby though. Tell them that if they keep telling you what to do you will never learn for yourself.