I am very sorry for your distress, however your last sentence does not ring true - that you want him out of your lives. Because your posting is full of bitterness and jealousy about this new woman, even if it is reading between the lines - you resent the fact that he is with her, or doing other things and not putting you and your son first, which is a perfectly understandable feeling, however it is not healthy for you, or your son. I think you need to move on from him, stop phoning his mum and dad and get your own life in order - and if you need to write him off as an uncaring bum who would rather be at the pub and drink the child support rather than give it to you, then so be it. Find someone better who can love you properly, and if you have to grit your teeth and let him have access every now and then just do it with dignity and calm and make a stable home for your son. You must accept that the relationship is over and move on. There are many people around that are hurt by their dad, you need to make sure that all the love around him by you and other family members gives him the stability he needs.