I am 17 years old with a baby, and the father of the baby won't help financially or with child, what can I do?

[irmaecheverr]

I am 17 years old, with a baby. The fathers baby won't help my financially or with the baby. What do I do?

[ethanryan]

if he is workin. get in touch with the csa although they are not very good. if he isnt they wont do nothing and when they do it takes forever, have you tried talking to him asking him to provide something even if he brought the nappies and wipes and things every week,it would be a help. are you claiming tax credits.

[redcrx]

are you with the father or have you seperated? How old is he?

[angeldraws]

The easiest thing to do is take the baby back to the shop, WITH the receipt and ask for your money back.

What do you THINK you do...? You take care of the baby as normal and dont worry about how you can get money out of someone - your child is worth more than money and it is your ex that is missing out, so let him.....

[meglet]

angeldraws what a bizarre answer! The girl is 17 and is left holding the baby. What makes you think she isn't currently looking after it to the best of her ability? If I was in her position I would also need to know how to get the father contribute financially, or do you think she should just let him get away with giving her nothing as so many absent fathers do?

irmaecheverr, post this in Law and you will get a more sensible answer than angeldraw's.

[angeldraws]

@meglet - exactly - she's 17 - she should've thought about the financial side of things before getting pregnant... i'm sorry but i have no sympathy for young people that bring forth another generation of ill informed teenagers when there are so many options around these days. Its high time they realised a baby isnt a doll - or a pawn to be played against the absent father.....worrying about such things deprives you of time spent with your child...harsh, but true....

[leelapops]

angeldraws, woah! I feel you're being quite judgmental; just because she's asking the question, doesn't mean she isn't already doing all she can, but it takes two to make a baby, and the father should be as responsible for it. meglet is right.

You don't know anything bout her circumstances, so much of what you say is assumed. They may have agreed as a couple to have a baby, only for him to have a change of heart. It happens to people who are "grown-up", not just young people.

I think she only really wanted advice, not judgment.

[~max~]

"she should've thought about the financial side of things before getting pregnant... "

Well, Angeldraws, in an ideal world maybe!!! think what you want, but most pregnancies are not planned. Agreed, most pregnancies happen where a couple has been together for a while, as that is when you would be less careful. But if you are going to wait to be financially sound before having a baby, then nobody would have them! Maybe she made a mistake, ok, but maybe she made a mistake and is now really happy to have a child, and is only looking for support, which all new mums are! Unfortunately, I can't provide advice, as I do not have children myself. But I wish people were not so quick to judge. All the best to the poster. xxx

[aims1202]

Apart from going to the csa there really isnt much you can do to get any money from him. Do you claim all the benefits you are entitled to? Income support, child tax credit, child benefit, and housing/council tax benefit if you rent. If not go to your local Job centre plus and council offices asap.
As far as him helping you with the care of your baby there really is nothing you can do if he does not want to be involved. Try not to get angry with him as it will probably make it worse and make you feel worse too. Just concentrate on your baby. Do you have any other support? If not then there is Homestart a charity which supports parents. Try and find help from others so you can have a break sometimes. Maybe joining local mother and baby/toddler groups. Sometimes health visitors run postnatal groups too. Maybe he will change his mind later on and needs to do a bit of growing up before he can take on the responsibility of being a dad.
I have a 5 year old and was a single mum since i was pregnant. I feel sad that my son doesnt know his dad but he is a lovely, happy boy. I have enjoyed every minute of it!
If his dad changes his mind one day and wants to see him then i will let him, i think its best for the child if they do.
Good luck and take care x