Smacking children

[RavenD]

I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old both whom I smack.
( lightly on the back of the legs and when they are having hissy fits ). They are very pleasant, intelligent and loving children when I look after them.
But when my wife looks after them she does not smack them and does not really discipline them and they suddenly become rowdy, noisy and very naughty.
I very rarely smack my children now as I just have to change the tone of my voice and they now they are in trouble and they stop being naughty.
I just wanted peoples thoughts on this controversial issue.

[sara3]

do you smack them so it hurts them?

I think smacking shows a loss of control/temper and isn't the way to go.

[daffy654]

Smacking a child shows him or her that violence is ok.Positive reinforcement works far better.Praise a child for behaving well and they will reward you with more good behaviour.

[sara3]

nk, go and sit on the naughty step.

[RavenD]

@no.knowledge,

Well, I thought it was too good to get a serious discussion going. There's always one, and it looks like your it. I did hope for some serious adult input and obviously I haven't received it. Then again there's always hope.

[cazzz1975]

I have 3 very well behaved children, 2 of them have severe learning difficulties, despite that they are wonderful children.

I do not smack them, there are better ways of teaching good behaviour

[Doc.Spock.1]

Take a lesson from nature.


Whenever you see lion cubs , eg, mum or dad will gently swipe them with their paw to make a point.

A gentle tap is sometimes required.

Remember, a good smack in the gob is worth a thousand words.

[barney1966]

similar opinion to redhelen.

My Father used to smack me occasionally, about once every 3-6 months when I had become a total horror and absolutely overstepped the mark. I knew at the time when I was doing it what I was in for. We have always had a good close relationship and I don't hold it against him at all - just wish I hadn't been such a brat.

However, earlier in the year I found an old diary and saw that he had hit me across the face when I was about 14/15. I had forgotten about this but obviously remembered it when I read about it and remembered the situation that lead to it. I actually found this very upsetting and struggled with it for a few weeks. Got over it pretty quickly though, decided not to speak to my Dad about it and it hasn't affected my relationship with him.

Food for thought though.

[RavenD]

@no.knowledge, your name is self explanatory. I no longer have any time
@cazzz1975, If you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated. As now I think I'm going to be a labelled a child abuser ffs.

[Doc.Spock.1]

I also got caned at school. Ouch. I can still feel it.

[sarahbish46]

If 2 parents are doing things differently with regards to discipline the kids dont know what is going on and you will find that they play one off against the other. Kids are not as silly as we think they can be at that age or in fact any age. You and your wife both need to work together here

[RavenD]

I don't really like smacking my children. I was brought up being smacked and understood this was ok to do under the right circumstances. And if I'm honest I don't like doing it and I really want to find another way of trying to discipline my children. So that I can teach them right from wrong and try to keep them safe when they grow up.

[Doc.Spock.1]

My Dad never hit me but my mum had a mean slap, the backs of my legs would sting for hours.



Happy days.


Does you no harm whatsoever.

[Doc.Spock.1]

Last time I hit one of mine was years ago, youngest daughter wanted "The last word"


As she stormed out of lounge muttering I caught her with a super well timed back hander which nicely skimmed off the back of her head.



She still laughs about it. It was 12 years ago.

[sara3]

would you smack someone at work? someone in the street who doesn't see things the same way as you?

children need to know where the line is, and they need a good example to follow. shouting parents mean shouting children... or children too terrified to shout.

if you smack a child and it doesn't hurt, what's the point?
if you smack a child and it does hurt.. that's unacceptable.