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Changing my childrens last name.

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elanb | 13:21 Mon 24th Nov 2008 | Parenting
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Who would be the correct people to speak with, as i want to change tyhe surnames of my 2 youngest children from their fathers to mine. He has little or no contact with the children and has paid no such thing as maintenace for them. I hope you can help me with this.
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How old are they and is he on their birth cert?
Maintenance is irrelevant to whether you can change thier surname or not
*their
Question Author
They are 5 & 6 yrs of age - but surely this wouldnt affect me wanting to change their name??
Legally, I dont think you can- not without his permission.

Morally, I dont think you should change their names either. Just because he doesn't pay maintenance towards his children, it doesn't alter the fact that he is their father and as such they deserve to know that, even if it's just by using his name.
you do not need to speak to anyone, as long as you dont intend to use names for purposes of fraud, you can call your children any surname without deed polls or changing certificates. Simply notify schools, youth clubs libaries etc of surname you wish them to use
Question Author
Oppss sorry yes unfortunately he is on their birth certificate
I was asking ages to see if he had automatic parental responsibility - he doesn't as your children were born before 1 Dec 2003

Anyway, morally I agree with BOO. He is after all their dad, whether he pays for their upkeep or sees them is irrelevant.

Your children can use any surname they want to without actually changing it by deed poll but I think this could be confusing for both of them - what about when you marry? Or possibly have more children?

Think a lot about this before you go ahead with it
Legally the name you call yourself if your name, however this can cause complications, eg applying for a passport, opening a bank account etc. If you are going to go down this route then I would see a solicitor and get this done properly. I do hope that you're not doing this just out of spite though, their father is their father and always will be, whether he pays maintenance for them or not. Your relationship with their father will always be different to their relationship with him, and you have to make allowances for that.
You cannot legally just change your children's sir names without his permission. I know someone who went through this. Whether or not he pays support or sees them is irrelevent. A very dear friend of mine divorced later remarried. She wanted to give her daughter her new name.She had to contact the father and he had to give up his parental rights in order for her to do so.( he too did not pay support and had little contact with his child). So basically, the decision is not yours, if the children's father agrees, he can give up his rights, but than he is no longer responisble for their care. P.S. my girlfriend is now deceased and her daughter is resentful because she feels that nobody thought about her feelings during the whole ordeal. Both biological parents are deceased and she lost contact with her Dad's family ( because of the animosity between the ADULTS, she was the one who suffered) and is very resentful over this. She is now a grown women and is trying to establish a relationship with her fathers family.
Think of the children before you do anything.

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