Smacking

[Potter]

Hi, My youngest boy aged 8 was recently sick on the carpet so i smacked, not hard but enough to know what he was doing was wrong, the problem was he enjoyed the smack and is now being naughty on purpose, what should i do?

[cardboard]

Hang on a second. While I dont agree with beating kids regularly, I think smacking in moderation is fine. I disagree totally with bernardo. How do you talk logically with a child of 5? And what do you do if talking doesnt work? Kids quickly realise that shouting at them means nothing, and are too young to understand their actions have other consequences. Theres a child in my street who thinks its funny to snap peoples car aerials. Ive heard the parents tell him off numerous times, but he keeps on doing it. How would you suggest they stop him doing that?

[cheyenne]

ali-dilkes or whatever this person is calling themselfs put a question on here this morning about smacking.and the ed got rid of it within 10 minutes,well done ed.

[FP]

Cardboard. When people constantly smack their children, it also means nothing to the children. I know a family where all four children were slapped and smacked constantly for everything and they didn't even appear to notice. Actually, it is possible to reason with a five year old, if they are used to having parents who talk intelligently to them about things at all times. How is a young child snapping car aerials off with his/her parents present. Either they are not in the control of their parents (ie. walking alongside their parent or having their hand held) or they are out on the street alone. I am assuming that the child in question is a young child?

[cardboard]

fakeplastic i understand what your saying, thats why i said smacking in moderation is ok. I agree if the parents do it all the time it will lose its effectiveness, but for serious things i think its ok. The child in question is six or seven, and as we live in a secluded street he's allowed to run around unattended

[bernardo.]

I understand what you're saying cardboard, but I still think it's inappropriate. If you are going to smack a child, at least beat them unconscious. That way the child will learn that everytime they are misbehave they will end up asleep.

[Site_Admin]

Fakeplastic could you please stop going through every question picking out the sexual content or trying to say it is sexually related.

[B_Ramkesh]

That's a really intelligent answer Bernardo. Thanks for your input.

[FP]

Cardboard, if your street is secluded and safe and the child is out playing unattended, then I consider that a better punishment would be to make him play in his own house or garden for at least two weeks as a punishment and if he does it again after this, then repeat it.

[bernardo.]

B_Ramkesh, please do not post here anymore. You are adding no value whatsoever and you are begining to become quite annoying. It's not my fault I'm gay.

[wonky]

I disagree with cardboard , my nephew has just turned 3 and for the last yr he has been able to understand if he has done something wrong without me screaming and smacking him. if he does something naughty i explain what he has done that is bad and he has to sit in a quiet corner for a min for each yr of his life ie 2 mins for a 2 yr old etc if it doesnt work i do it again and if it still doesnt work then he will loose a toy or a privilege he has. I have never had to smack him and i dont think it solves anything!!

[philaxxxx]

If you physically punished your child for vomiting on the carpet, I think you need help. Vomiting is normally an involuntary action-most people wouldn't punish a DOG for this.......What's more important to you for christ's sake, your child or your carpet? As to enjoying the smack, some emotionally neglected children WILL derive satisfaction from what they identify as an emotional response from you, because it is a REAL connection from which they feel some measure of control over events, even if the outcome is negative. Talk to a professional, your GP should be able to help refer you to someone who can help you both. Help IS out there.

[zgma]

Yes, I also disagree, cardboard. I have a 2 year old, whom I try to treat with respect. That means absolutely no smacking, and almost no yelling. I talk to him about why whatever he's doing wrong is bad... i.e., I reason with him - and he listens. I've been able to reason with him about things for many months. Children of ANY age can be reasoned with, quite successfully. However, if you ever smack a child, you won't be able to reason with them, because the only reason children listen to reason is if they trust you. How on earth are they going to trust someone who hits them? I wouldn't. I would have resentment against anyone who abused me, emotionally or physically, and would undermine attempts at reason. There's no reason why children should ever, ever, ever be hit.

[FP]

I smacked my son in anger a couple of times and totally regret it. When I told him this recently (he is now 21) he says he really can't remember being smacked as a child. I was so pleased. Sometimes we act out of character when we are distraught, so perhaps we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves for the occasional smack. We are only human!

[FP]

I should have put that in no way was he smacked for being sick, or the like. The smacks I remember was when at the awful age of 12/13 he would cheek me back using horrendous language until I reached the end of my tether. Fortunately, that stage didn't last too long!

[cardboard]

You are very lucky zdma and wonky. When I was a child I was a complete pain in the bum. I can remember one day constantly kicking the back of someones seat on the bus. The only reason I stopped was because my mother gave me a clip aroud the ear, which on looking back I can say I thouroughly deserved. Can you honestly say that in such situations you would be able to make a consistently naughty child by reasoning with him/her, or telling them they would have to sit in the corner when they got home?

[stoo_pid]

cardboard, let me get this right. On the one hand zdma & wonky don't smack their children & they have well behaved kids (I can also add to that claim - never had to smack & I promise you I NEVER will). On the other hand you were brought up by someone who thought it OK to hit children & yet you admit to being "a complete pain in the bum" as a child. You don't see any pattern occuring there?

[Shadow]

Smacking dosn't solve problems so you might have to figure this out on your own, doing it on an 8 year old is just wrong. How about too ways? Bad way: (this sound's cruel but only if your desperate) Smack him hard enough till he won't want to do anything bad again when he foud out what the consicuences are. Nice way: First try to ignore him, young children only want to do something bad if at least someone is watching or paying attention. If not then try ask him why he's doing it. That part if your lucky enough will help alot if he has a decent reply. And one other funny way: Say that the more thing's he wrecks or break, mammy will have to spend all the money on the things you broke and I can't buy you anything nice. (Such as sweets)(Or toys)

[cardboard]

sorry stoo_pid, i cant see a pattern at all, nor from just three examples. I was naturally fidgety and easily bored as a kid, hence frequently a pain in the bum. My sister, who was brought up exactly the same way and smacked when the occasion warranted it, was a little angel. One of those things. And you must have been somewhere in public where a kid is misbehaving, and the parent just stands there going 'oo, darling, dont do that, its naughty'. And the child cheerfully ignores them. That has got to wind you up