A child falling

[ettelloc]

Me and my partner were just at his neices 2nd birthday party. She stepped outside the front door and fell and banged her mouth. She was crying and there was some blood so naturally her mum got slightly aggitated and took her in the kitchen to sort her out. Then my partners mum and stepdad (nana & grandad) rushed in in a panic wanting to see if she was ok which is fair enough as they were worried. Me and my partner pointed out that they should leave the mum & dad to deal with it to avoid causing anymore stress to the little girl & try & keep her calm to which point the grandad called my partner a C**T and threatened to punch him & told him to mind his own. Does anyone think my partner was in the wrong to tell them not to intervene? thanks

[mumof3angels]

Well they might not have appreciated being told to leave them alone, BUT that was totally out of order to say that to your partner. I don't think there was any need for it.

[brenda]

I trhink your post clearly indicates who is the set of c**ts in this scenario.Not you I might add.

[ettelloc]

I know what you mean about being told what to do but the little girl was already hysterical and they both rushed in crazy and upsetting her more. I know its heartbreaking to see a child in that way which is why he said leave her alone to try and calm her.The grandad is one to fuss a lot though. If shes told off for doing something naughty and she cries grandad says "she shouldnt be crying all the time its not right" then fusses her so she cries all the more.

[mumof3angels]

He sounds like the worse sort of grandparent to have. I'd go mad at my parents if they ever undermined my discipline with my kids. Didn't your OH's mum say anything about what his stepdad said?

[ettelloc]

The nana had left the room by this point so didnt hear what was said mumof3angels. They will soon be nana & grandad to my child so me & my partner may come across similar dealings with our child. I just thought it was the wrong way to act around a child that was clearly very upset and frightened & they just made it worse

[mumof3angels]

If they are the same with your little one some ground rules are going to have to be set I presume. Is the stepdad usually this offensive or is it just a one off?

[ettelloc]

Hes not usually offensive but he does tend to sulk & sigh all the time. They have another little girl who has just turned 1 year old and if she cries because shes tired, hungry, thirsty anything because thats how babies communicate he sighs as though babies shouldnt cry. A few months ago we were at another childs party & the 2 year old snached food from another child so her mum told her off and she cried. Everyone else in the room left her to cry because she was told off but he went over to her and hugged her & told her it was ok & again said she cries too much and its not right that she cries so much. I think hes just too mothering & frightened to let them find things out for themselves.

[mumof3angels]

Well at least it's nice that he pays the little girl attention but seems as though as I said earlier it's undermining any discipline given to her. He'll regret when she's older and she mouths back at him because she's been so used to him giving in to her.

[ettelloc]

He will definately. The younger one already seems to have a little bit of a temper so think it will be worse with her when she older. At least with our child we can say a lot more if the pattern repeats. Thanks for your responses. x

[mumof3angels]

No probs. Mumx

[Velvetee]

So what you are saying, is your partner's father actually called him "C**t" and threatened to punch his own son?

If this is the case, on that basis alone, this ghastly excuse for a father would never step foot in my home again. People never cease to amaze me.

I would agree with you and your partner, the parents of the child should have dealt with her injury. Too much fussing would only cause her to become more agitated and infuse the situation further.

[lorri24601]

Did he do this in front of the child ?? in my opinion he was wrong to say, and do, what he did full stop, but if he did it in front of the child then i would hope the childs parents be also be having serious thoughts about the negative and unpleasant influence he is having on the child with such behaviour

[Velvetee]

I just find it abhorrent that any parent would call their offspring a "c**t" and then threaten to punch them. I wonder how this guy treated his son when he was a child.

[ettelloc]

He didnt do this in front of the 2 year old child that was injured but he had the younger child (13months) in his arms which is also very upsetting. I dont think he would actually hit him but even so his attitude stinks and to even say it is terrible. He isn't his natural father but has brought him up as a baby and from the stories I hear from my partner he had a very strict and somewhat lonely childhood.

[Velvetee]

People seem to think if it's family, then you should make allowances for them and make excuses for their bad behaviour. I have some nasty articles in my family, my sister for instance and have had no problem writing her off.

I'm not sure why your partner would tolerate this kind of behaviour by his father. He is an adult now and shouldn't have to put up with it. As he wasn't much of a father when your partner was a child, I'm sure he doesn't need him now. The man sounds like a complete Neanderthal.