Labour

[smudge]

Just wondering what the ratio is, of women who do/don't prefer their husband/parter to be present when giving birth & the reasons why/why not?

[FP]

Smudge, are you trying to tell us that a little Smudge is on the way?!

 

I was extremely grateful for my husband's presence.  I would never have got through it without him (I would never have got into the situation without him either!).  He is an extremely level headed and calm person and never flaps in complete contrast to me!

 

Hope you had a really lovely Christmas Smudge.  The Ed did say we can put greetings in answers, just not in questions!!

[smudge]

Hi FP - No little baby Smudges on the horizon - well not that I know of! I was just watching Portland Babies on Discovery & was wondering how many women out there prefer to be alone/or not when giving birth. When I gave birth in 1965 & 1968, my husband was asked to wait outside, even though both births were spontaneous & without compications! Although it seemed to be the 'norm' back then, we were both disappointed that we couldn't share those crucial moments together, instead of five minutes later!

 

We had a lovely family Christmas thank you FP, hope you did too.

 

Happy & Healthy New Year 2005!

[smudge]

*complications

[l_h_kings]

Hi Smudge,

Not sure if you are looking for satistics or personal opinions, but i was very glad to have my husband with me at the birth. I had the option of having 2 birthing partners present, but chose for just my husband to be there.   My baby passed away early in labour (unknown reason - no complications) and my husband was able to watch baby being born, cut the cord, and give baby his first cuddle. These are all things we planned on doing before baby died; and they are very treasured memories to us now.

 Very sorry that you and your husband never got to share those special moments together with your little ones. Birthing procedures have changed so much and so rapidly, not long ago i would not have been able to have seen; held or named my little boy (www thomasking co uk)

[smudge]

Hi i_h_kings, I am so sorry to hear that your baby passed away whilst you were in labour. Thank God you & your husband were together & able to support each other, at such a sad & stressful time. I am so glad you have such treasured memories of your baby's birth. -x-

 

Any personal views would be of interest.

[Solarjunkie]

My husband was in at the beginning, so I wanted him to be in at the end!! Anyway, they were his babies as well as mine. Also after many hours and many drugs, his was the only voice that got through to me.

It was wonderful that we could share that special time.

Every man I know who has stayed has been glad he has, and felt even closer to his wife and child.

[Kay]

I've had 4 babies,all adults now.For the first 2 deliveries my then husband refused to be present for the births.My now hubby of 22 years was there throughout both my other 2 labours and would'nt have had it any other way or me! Only thing is,he pinched my gas and air as he had headaches.LOL.

[smudge]

Thank you all for sharing your special moments. Even though my husband wasn't present at the actual births & saw our two daughters at a few minutes old, he was absolutely elated & adored them just the same. They are both in their mid thirties now & he feels just the same about them, as we both do. They'll always be 'our babies' - ah!

[Dom Tuk]

Smudge, happy new year

If you are thinking of birth and labour in a global sense then in most asian cultures, hindu/muslim, it is unheard of for the father to be present at birth. In India this does not happen. Its more to do with social mores and women being uncomfortable about husbands being present when they are more or less exposed to other hospital staff. Its a cultural thing. Midwives in the UK may shed some light on this. Do asian husbands attend their asian wives during delivery??. I think the percentage who do may be small in comparison with white families.

[smudge]

Hi Dom - I'm not really interested in the culture/religion side of labour/delivery. Only interested in general, what women thought of having their husband/partner present. Thanks anyway.

[smudge]

Happy New Year to you & all too.

[jills]

I gave birth to our wee boy 15 months ago, and hubby was there every step of the way.  it was great, we were really relaxed, laughed at the tunes on the radio in the labour suite ("No child of mine is being born to the sound of Justin Timberlake!" I vowed.) and just generally got ecxcited abotu baby coming!  I actually enjoyed my labour, and loved that Steve knew when to give me a drink, when to encourage me, when to laugh and joke.  No midwife could ever have known me that well.  We both agree he'll be tehre for No. 2, if we are lucky enough to have another.

[dirtyharriet]

I have 4 boys. Unfortunately due to my penchant for unhealthy relationships, I was abandoned each time I was pregnant with the first 3, so I went through all the labour and birth all on my own.
Having now met Mr Right, I can tell you that when I gave birth to my last child it was amazing to have someone supporting me through every step. It was so important for me to know what it was like to have someone there.

[mamashango]

I have two sons, one is 4 years and the other is 4 weeks.  With my first i was scared to be on my own, as its quite a daunting experience for a first time mum, my second child, well things went that quick that i didnt even notice that my husband just made it in time to see his son being born with 10 mins to spare!  Its nice to have your hubby after the birth, so you can just stare in awe at this wee tike that youve both made, and comment on which family member he looks the most!

[ahar]

my mum thought that considering she was in so much pain, my dad deserved it too - she dug her fingernails into his arm with every contraction!

[secretspirit]

My baby's due at the end of May and my husband is the only person I'd want to be there! My Mum (who must surely have had too much gas and air) says labour is pain free and you shouldn't have an epidural so I really do without her there and the only one of my friends who's been through childbirth has a phobia of blood and can't even talk about her own experiences. My husband can stay calm - sorry LOOK calm - in any situation and is very good with me when I'm hurt or frightened.