Daughter with cronic constipation refuses to use toilet, or potty

[boodolly]

My little girl is 2 and 1/2, she's aware now that she's weeing and pooing, but she will not go on the toilet, or the potty. She screams no and says she wants to do it in her nappy, think this is a security thing as she's on strong laxatives to get her bowel to retract and these make her stools extremely loose. I've tried bribery and pleading, but she will not budge. We even have a 9 month old who sits on her potty and wees and poos, but this has no effect either. I honestly do not know what to do next, any suggestions at all.

[B00]

Why's she on laxatives? Gotta be honest i'd be more secure in a nappy if i was on those things!

[boxtops]

Is she on laxatives from the GP? It seems very strong medicine from someone so young. Perhaps it's hurt her to poo in the past, little people remember these things.

[robbo966]

This is quite normal it took my daughter 4 years to grow out of it.

[Panic Button]

Back off for a while, and make no comment.

Your tension is making her worse.

[boodolly]

She's under the paediatrician because her constipation is so bad, he prescribes the laxatives, without them she has suffered fissures.

[B00]

Oh yes, thanks forr the reminder Robbo- my daughter was well past 3 before it finally "clicked" with her.

Maybe your daughter jusy isn't ready yet? Don't push her,she'll get there eventually. The more you try to insist, the more stressed she'll get about it.

[boxtops]

Poor kid, she must have been in a lot of pain. I bet it frightened her and she's remembering that.

[robbo966]

Don't worry too much it's alot more common than you think, she'll grow out of it.

[boodolly]

Oh and it's the paediatrician who has told us to sit her on the toilet at the same time every day and try to get her to poo, easier said than done.

[Panic Button]

Sometimes the 'experts' are wrong.

Don't forget, each child is different.

I am surprised a child so young is on strong laxatives. Our eldest had similar problems, but was on a stool softener, not laxatives.

[B00]

And the experts are ace at telling you to do something, and not actually the ones who have to do it!

Honestly, I appreciate the advice they've given you, but the simple fact is, if your daughter won't use a potty or toilet, then she won't do it! And no amount of bullying, cajoling etc will make her.

Can you not speak to them again and ask what the consequences would be if you give the3
potty training a miss for a while?

[zzxxee]

reward her everytime she wees on the potty with a treat and tell her if she does a big poo she will get an even bigger prize bribary works every time
the important thing is not to worry trust me she will grow out of it xx

[ummmm]

Remember boodolly...you don't see many adults still wearing nappies.

[B00]

Well, not unless its in the privacy of their bedrooms ;-)

[ummmm]

I did think that after I posted :-)

[poodicat]

Dont think bribary always works if a child is adamant

[zzxxee]

is her diet good lots of fruit and veg???

[Panic Button]

We were taught to use a 'star chart' system

Rather than a bribe every time, a calendar chart was stuck to the fridge door.

Each success was marked with a star, but failures were not discussed. The child can be given the choice of coloured sticky stars.

Rewards were promised when perhaps ten stars were achieved. Not big rewards, as it can get expensive, but a big reward such as a fun day out can be for a big target. (perhaps five small targets achieved)

At first you don't get much result, but as successes become more frequent, the child will be seen to be quietly looking at the chart with some pleasure

[Panic Button]

I remember now, it was lactulose that our child was given to bulk up and loosen the stools.

[aims1202]

when i potty trained my son he was fine with doing a wee but was also a bit scared to do a poo in the potty at first. I just kept his pants off around the house and if i saw that he was about to go i would just hold the potty behind him and catch it! Then i would say he was a clever boy and we'd go and empty it into the toilet. I could usually tell when he was about to go as it was around the same time each day and he would cover his face with his hands. after a few times doing this he eventually just sat on the potty himself to do it. if your daughter is on laxatives you might not be able to do this.
I think you have to stay very calm and be not at all bothered about it because she will sense the smallest feeling of stress from you and that will make her feel anxious. I personally dont think you should put a nappy on her to do a poo as it will be really hard to stop it. it may also be better not to sit her on it or try to persuade her, just tell her that if she needs a poo the potty is there and ignore the screams but give her lots of cuddles and attention thats nothing to do with it. good luck