Babies behaviour problems

[stressed out]

I am quite concerned about my 13 month old son. He is a good eater and learns quickly and is very bright. He does everything that is expected of a child of his age. My one concern, however, is that he is a bad sleeper. He cries and moans until i can finally rock him to sleep, and sometimes i have to give in and b feed him to sleep! (Which i still have to do at night!) That's not even the worst part... He does'nt stay asleep for long and wakes continuously through the night! I end up giving him Calpol almost every night, which i can't imagine would be good for him to have it for long? I'm exhausted and at my wits end. Also he has a bit of a temper and screams at me and lashes out,( slapping me)! I know he's a loving little boy and i hate to see him like this, what can be done? I've tried asking at the Clinic and Doctors etc.. but have no joy! Hope someone can give me a serious remedy?

[spunkypumpkn]

hello.

may I suggest that under 'category search' , you search for 'sleeping'. A question was posted by that heading (nothing else.... just 'sleeping' ) some weeks back, and I posted an answer which I know was useful.

Jo

[crisgal]

i have been blessed with three children who have always slept - but my neices have both been terrible sleepers so i do know a little of what you're going through. I would get books from the library - miriam stoppard type. but mainly i would go back to your health visitor and DEMAND some help and advice! good luck  -

[andy hughes]

Re. the slapping - your son is getting to an age now where he need to learn that you will not accept this behaviour. I don;t personally subscribe to the PC attitude of 'reasoning' with a child this age - his reasoning powers are non-existent at this age. Give his fingers a sharp tap and say 'No!' loudly to him each time he hits you, increase the pressure on his fingers until he responds - he will soon get the message. As for the sleep issue, you are right, Calpol nightly is not good for your baby. Try to establish a regular routine - a nice bath, some quiet time on your lap, put him down at the same time, and leavve a low light on. Move around the room for a few minutes, so he can hear, and smell you, and knows you are near, and he will get into the routine of settling off. It takes time, but you will get there in the end.

[wonky]

Hello firstly i know this can be such a hard time but dont forget things will get better!I cant for the life of me remember the proper name for this style of getting the child to sleep but if you put him down and pull the door to,stand outside quietly if he cries leave him one min, after the min go in try not to talk to him just tuck him in and go again,leave it two mins if hes still crying go in again do the same thing, it is best to then take it up by two mins everytime after this, it is a long and exhausting process but it works a treat,it just teaches them that this is bed time and he cant always get what he wants.After poss a couple of nights of doing this he should go down with few or no probs!I know how hard it is to hear your son crying but if you stick with it he will have happier nights sleep once he has learnt it is bed time.

Again i know it is hard but when i was young i was the same and my mum used to rock me everynight and as i got older now and again i had to be rocked or my hair stroked or my back rubbed now my poor husband has to put up with me not being able to sleep most nights without my hair being stroked or my back being rubbed!!Regarding the waking through the night there was a very long reply put her a while ago from i think a midwife to a similar question she explained what happens when adults and children sleep basically everyone wakes throughout the night they just dont remmeber waking, the reason why we do this is to check that our environment is safe, a baby wakes more often than an adult and will cry or panic if he fell asleep say in your arms or downstairs and then wakes up in his cot alone that why it is important for them to fall asleep in their cot. A lot of the time if a baby/child wakes in the night they may have a bit of a moan and then just falll back to sleep!!

Sorry reply is so long and hope it is helpful!!! Good luck and let us know how it all goes!x x

[smudge]

I can honestly say that we never had any problems with our two daughters at bedtime. From a very early age, they went into their own rooms. We always read them a story, then switched off the light, said "night, night, I love you, sweet dreams" & closed the door. That was usually it until morning, unless of course there was a bad storm or a bad dream, when we would go into their rooms to comfort them back to sleep in their cot or bed.

 

We never allowed either of them to sleep in our bed during the night, only in the morning for a cuddle & a chat, just before we were due to get up anyway.

[smudge]

P.S. Apart from the bad storms & bad dreams waking them up, there were also the teething periods, when we paced the floor at night. Apart from that it's just as above. Good luck with your little boy.

[simms]

I envy smudge and the robo-kids. Take heart Stressy, all kids are different and I didn't sleep a full night for 5 years cos of mine......grim. Have you tried completely wearing the little B out during the day - swimming, running about, playing in fresh air...and try to deny the chance to nap (him not you) then he could sleep a little longer. Re. the B-feeding, you have done well for him, now he needs to let you go. I had same experience. We even discussed it, in his own limited way, but eventually after forewarning him it was 'going' I used nail biting fluid on the nipple. He never came back for more. (He is a well-balancec 18-yr-old now!). He sounds bright - as well as bedtime stories try making up games about his bed being a boat or a tent. Above all don't despair, keep your head and it will all pass eventually

[ahar]

my mum let me cry myself to sleep. i soon got bored and tired from crying and just drifted off.

[Hgrove]

Unfortunately some children just don't go to sleep;  you could try a sleep clinic if there is such a thing in your health authority and if you can get your gp to refer you;  or you can go privately if you are happy to pay for it.  But basically you can get some improvement, but you cannot turn a non-sleeper into a sleeper.  I only began going to sleep in the evening when I was 24 years old, I kid you not.  Until I was 24 I could easily stay up all night.  Going to bed was torture, probably because my parents forced me to stay in bed with the light off and no reading because I had to get my proper rest for the school day.  My daughter never got to sleep until about 11pm or so and everybody told me she would go to sleep once she was in school  Well, her sleeping time has now "improved" from 11pm to (most nights) letting me go out of the room at about 9.15pm (actual sleep time is later). I envy those people whose children fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow at 7pm!   In the last week, because of a wobbly milk tooth, we have had midnight twice, and 12.30am one other night.  I can't wait for her to read fluently now because I hope she will at least entertain herself when I go back downstairs.  I am not sure I agree with Andy on the Calpol:  I also found that the only thing that would settle her was a teaspoon of Calpol. She kept asking me for it, although I always said it should not become a daily habit (I think the longest we have gone with nightly calpol is two weeks).  But I doubt it would have done any lasting harm, and the advantage is that I really think it saved me from going stir crazy.

[Hgrove]

(conclusion). The method described by Wonky is called Controlled Crying.  It did not work for me because, the way I was told to do it, I had to count 1 minute, then increase gradually to 2 mins, 3 mins, etc.  I was so tired I was literally falling asleep standing up outside the door, even collapsing on the floor with exhaustion, so it became impossible to effect these minute increases in time correctly.  About the slapping, another approach, if you are holding the child when they slap you, is to put them down firmly and say something like "no, I am not holding you if you slap me".   My daughter stopped slapping me when she was 2 1/2.

[Hgrove]

P.S. ask your health visitor to put your name forward for parenting classes.  I could not go because my husband squarely refused to promise to be home by 7pm to enable me to go, but I have friends who have been to these courses and said the course gave them confidence.

[Hamish]

Our son was 13 months a few weeks later. He has always been a big eater and eats almost adult portions of food. We have found that increasing protien in his diet, fish, eggs, meat, has helped his sleap a little. Here is an overview of his eating.

6pm - two eggs, slice of bread and 1/3 pint of yogart.

8-9pm - milk 5-9floz

10-11pm - milk 9floz

he usually only wakes when he is hungy or disterbed in his sleap, although he does sometimes get wind or sore teath (bonjella works v- well). Somtimes he is just thirst and takes a couple of mouths of water.

occationally he will cry for attention and we find leaving him for 5 mins (seems like an eternity) and then giving him a hug ususally sorts it after 2-3 goes.

I would lay off the calpol unless you have some indication there is a pain.