How do you feel about your Mother?

[EcclesCake]

To get away from what should be a warm and fuzzy thread about mothers it has become apparent that many of us do not have warm and fuzzy feelings for our mums.

Mine was a liar who never told me the truth about so many things. I tried many times to get the truth from her but it changed every time she proffered it, consequently I have no faith in a word she ever told me.

It might seem trivial to many of you but not knowing the 'truth' of your heritage and background has a surprising impact on your mind set.

[daffy654]

Eccles, my mum has never apologised to me for the things she has done, even if she did I would not accept it, she is adept at lying due to the psychopathy. There are so many other reasons for me to hate her, I could fill a book with it. lol

My life has been much better since I cut her out of it completely!

[sara3]

Eccles, you're spot on.

I can see that others had it worse, and I'm okay. and I'm a bloody fabulous mum ;o)

[albaqwerty]

I want to be a good, nice kind but firm mum to my sons.
I'm a parent, not their friend (but it does help)


Daffy, I can't say anything xxxx

[sara3]

Helen, maybe we're all a bit stronger for it x

[mrs.chappie]

I guess I feel more strongly for my mum as my dad died when I was young (9) and left mum to raise seven of us on her own. She wouldn't hear of finding someone else - said she would have felt it disrespectful.

Times were very different to what they are now (state benefits, tax credits etc) and how she managed to look after us all like she did, I'll never know.

We had very little money, very little material stuff, but love in abundance.

[boxtops]

I got on very well with my mother once I was adult and had left home for a while. She was full of good intentions when we were little. My parents both did their best, but they came at it from different angles.

[ladybird49]

Mrs Chappie ,sounds like you had a great childhood , i salute your mum x

[EcclesCake]

Just out of interest are we all female on this thread?

[DTCwordfan]

Nope

[mrs.chappie]

Ladybird, we did. I loved her to bits. We all did.

[DTCwordfan]

I had a very close relationship with my Dad - he died of the big C at 58......my mother just didnt want anything really to do with her offspring - boy and three girls.......left to my father. he wanted six of us, she was/is a single child and it showed/shows.

However, you get what you are landed with and have to play the bridge cards of life as dealt out.......so we accept and just get on with it. She now has dementia setting in and that is sad to see, whatever the points of "faiblesse" in growing up. She can't remember her grandkids now, nor the baby of the family who doesn't live in the UK

[Poor-Alfie]

er............. have you read your own thread Eccles? lol

[EcclesCake]

Thank you DT for your confirmation. BTW, we need to have a separate thread extolling the merits of Tamarind, a top restaurant!

[EcclesCake]

Perhaps I've missed something Alfie? I was just curious, it seems that it is largely daughters who are here and I was wondering if it was significant.

The female:female relationship is notoriously tense and I was wondering if it was being played out here.

[Carakeel]

My mother is still living with me, aged 94 now and she has mild dementia. I love her to bits and want to look after her for the rest of her life. She was a good mother, although she focused her attentions primarily on my brother when we were children and in the past did a few things that hurt me and my children. But that was a long time ago and she was so focused on my brother she really didn't know or understand what was happening in my life. My brother was always her "golden child", her star! Over the years that she has lived with me this has changed. Her "golden child", who is very wealthy, only comes to visit her once every few years, phones about twice a year and plays no part in looking after her, offers no financial support ... nothing! I am not well off at all and am disabled, but have willingly looked after my mum for the past 20 years. She tells me every day that I am such a "good girl" and that she is so glad "we have us". My brother will never understand how his lack of caring and consideration hurts her and angers me. All parents make mistakes and so did my mum, but I still respect her and will never stop showing her that I love her, even though ours was not always an easy relationship. My father and I were very close and very alike in so many ways. I would never let him down by not looking after her as he would have wanted me to. Sadly he died far too young and we both miss him very much.

[DTCwordfan]

Glad you like the Tamarind - I am not a great Indian fan as I find most of Indian food ends up as a homgenous mass (mess). however, that place is brill and a favourite of mine in the UK.