I am soo afraid of giving birth!

[lubecki161]

Ive always wanted to be a mum ever since i was 15 its all i wanted - ive got loads of young family and am brilliant with kids - always come naturally to me, ive seen all of my sisters be born and now im an auntie for the 1st time, ive got a long term boyfriend and a house and kids will be on the menu in the next few years but the older i get the more and more scared i become! I hear it a rising trend! Anyone else the same?

[4getmenot]

you try find somone that wasnt scared of giving birth before they actually went through it and I doubt you can find many. You will be fine when the time comes. xxx

[Velvetee]

I'm afraid too and dread having an Episiotomy or tearing.

I'm due to give birth to my first in June and still have no comprehension of what childbirth will be really like or the pain involved.

[pinkkitty]

i think its only natural to be scared - especially when you start chatting to people about wanting a baby and suddenly everyone wants to tell you the story of their horrendous 50 hour labour in gory detail. I must confess, i'm 30 now; 3 or 4 years ago i was dead set on having a baby, but have been put off a little bit by the thought of having to give birth.

At the end of the day, the labour may be awful, or it may equally be plain sailing, at the end of it you'll have the baby you've always dreamed of. So it will be worth it. i think we might start trying for a baby next year too.

[redcrx]

we are probably all afriad of childbirth. But look at it this way, if its really that bad how come women go on to have more children?

It is painful, i wont deny it, but its just a short time and soon forgotten (well, until the next labour anyway)

[B00]

Show me a woman who says they aren't scared of giving birth and I'll show you a liar!

We all are/ were. But to be frank (who?) once you're in the middle of labour, there's nowt you can do about it. That baby is gonna come out one way or another.

[cazzz1975]

I tore in labour velvetee and I didnt feel it, they also stitched me up without an anesthetic, I barely felt it, sometimes the details sound worse than the reality. do not worry, remember its a natural process, your body was made for the very task of creating new life

[daniela31]

Thousands of women are giving birth every day. If you attend all the ante natal classes and follow what the midwife has to say, you will be fine.
If it was that bad women would only have one child. :-)

When the baby is in your arms, you won't even remember if it hurt or not.

xxxx

[Ice.Maiden]

I think this worries all mums to be, no matter how many children they have, as each birth can be different. If you feel that things are getting too much for you, you can opt for vaious pain relief, from gas and air, pethedine - or an epidural.
To Velvetee - an episiotomy isn't always required by any means. If you follow your midwife's instructions, and everything else's going fine, then I was advised to direct any pushing into the bottom area - as though you're going to the loo. It's possible to use muscle control to seperate the two, and hopefully you won't need any stitches OR an episiotomy.

[Velvetee]

So ladies, those of you who have already had babies, would you say the contractions are the most painful part and would you liken them to very severe period pain? Or is the actual act of the baby travelling down the birth canal worse?

[cazzz1975]

personally the contractions just before you start pushing are painful and the pushing itself

[cazzz1975]

I do remember having very strong contractions just before the pushing and thinking at the time "this really isnt as bad as I thought it was going to be"

[pinkkitty]

did you have any pain releif Cazz?
i've always insisted i would try not to, but then everyone keeps telling me i'll be begging the nurse for pethedine in under 10 minutes.

[k8bailey]

contraction are (or mine were anyway) like really bad period pain, just as begin to think you can't stand it for a second longer it goes, then yoou sit there thinking it wasn't that bad.... untill the next contraction. I can't tell you about the other bit as I had an epidural and didn't feel the baby coming out.

I had a few rare problems afterwards and they were far worse than the labour BUT i am assured that the problems I had were rare, so even that wouldn't put me off having another!

I'm watching my little girl (7months old) now and I couldn't give a stuff about the labour i'd do it all again right now for her! Cheesy I know but she really is worth every second of it!

[cazzz1975]

no, I had nothing at all, so I got the whole deal :D

[Psychick]

lol @ red, you werent in labour long enough 2nd time round to even think about the pain!

I had an epidural with my first, after being sick on gas and air, so really didnt feel enough. With my second, I was in agony! (Just being honest lol) But when I reached the stage of needing to push, I really cant remember the pain! I can recall saying it was stinging ( as baby came out lol) but I would say the contractions were the worst part.

My baby is 11 months now and it wouldnt bother me at all going through it all again. Althoug painful, it is an amazing experience! One I hope I will never forget. Am I mad? lol

[natalie_1982]

I think Kate summed it up best for me - I remember, during a contraction, thinking that I just couldn't handle it and that it was too much, then the contraction stops and you smugly think "Wasn;t that bad actually....!" lol..... then the next one starts. I also remember, whilst pushing, the midwife jokingly asking me if I'd have anymore, and I said definitely, yes, perhaps another 3.

I have been told that crowning (when baby's head is on it's way out) is the worst pain, but I never felt it as I had mine in theatre, and so when they did the episiotomy and stitched me up I didn't feel that either.

I think it depends on your labour, most people I know who started naturally said the contractions progressed naturally from period pains gradually getting worse to contractions, and those I know who were induced or "started off" had very strong contractions and pains, very quickly.

[redcrx]

lol psychic, yes it was quick but thats not to say i didnt feel it. Both mine started with full on contractions, not slight build up at all.

The feeling is a cross between a period pain and that really bad tummy ache and urge that you get when needing to have a poo i think.

[jack daniels]

Hey sweetie

It's only natural to be scared - I can remember that from 16 years ago!
It doesn't matter who or how many people you talk to, each and every experience is different. You can hear horror stories and births that go sailingly without a problem, but you'll be in good hands and you'll be fine! honest!

good luck hun x

[Velvetee]

You all make it sound like a piece of cake. Although I can't imagine being in pain for a very long period of time.

On average, how many contractions did you experience throughout your labour and how long were you in labour?

I'm still scared and my elderly mother isn't helping, she keeps telling me she doesn't think the baby will come out and that I won't manage.

[redcrx]

crikey, its hard to say how many contractions it takes. with my first i was pushing for 2 hours before he emerged, and labour pains were 6 hours.
i only pushed twice with second baby and she flew out. Id been stuck in car to that point and there wasnt a lot i could do but concentrate on the contractions and do breathing exercises. At point of leaving for hospital my contractions were 3 in 10 mins with just a 30 second break between each one.
usually contractions build up in regularity and intensity so the first may just be like a slight tummy ache.
Its the crowning that is the worst bit, for me anyway, but literally as soon as baby is out the pains go, and you dont even feel the placenta which comes out a little while afterwards.