Absolutely no sex drive

[Velvetee]

Since hitting my mid thirties, my sex drive has all but diminished and although when in a new relationship, it's quite rampant for a while, the desire soon wanes.

I'm now pregnant, surprisingly so, as in the last year, we haven't exactly been like rabbits. Since becoming pregnant, I have absolutely no interest in sex. My Fiance, hoped that I would turn into a raving Nympho in my second Trimester, as that is what he has read, but there has been no change.

He is a very passionate person and is always up for it, but since I became pregnant, we have had sex 1.5 times and I have no desire to do it again, I can't bear to be touched and find it all very irritating.

Does anyone else feel like I do? Did your sex drive return after having your baby, or did the situation worsen?

[sqad617]

ummm@tamborine.

Of course he will be sympathetic to his wife's conditon, but again, 3rd time, neither of you have answerd my question.

Wife not interested in sex, husband is......what does he do?

[sqad617]

Still all quiet on the frigid wife front.

[tamborine]

sqad....their are potions, prisoners get them to reduce lust. Cold shower? What do soldiers in war do? You know the answer for men......tell us?

My dad told me "sex was like having to use the toilet" so use the toilet! Or rubber dolly, hoover hose, jam it in the door - that'll give relief!

[sqad617]

tamborine...so that is the female answer...potions, cold shower, do what soldiers do, jam it in the door.....very enlightening.........I despair.

[ummmm]

I can't answer it sqad as I have a sex drive.....

The only reason we don't have sex more often is because he falls asleep on the sofa.

I don't begrudge him that as he works hard and I get all the affection I need.

If he wakes up horny....9 times out of 10 I'm happy to oblige.

[sqad617]

ummm..that is an honest answer. So, far apart from tamborines contribution it is fair to say, that women have no idea how the man solves the problem.

[fluffyteddy]

Velvetee wooooow having a baby at 40! That is the oldest I have heard also :)
Congratulations!
I always thought I would be barron by that age.
I do have a question for you though.
How would you feel if you found your other half started sleeping with other women? As far as I am concerned it is a each partners responsibility to keep each other fulfilled and satisfied. If he 'irritates' you when he touches you then I suggest you let him go see other women or even look at maybe an escort so there is no risk of any romance blossoming. You really do have to be realistic. If a man doesnt get what he needs he will look elsewhere.

[redcrx]

i went off sex when pregnant,

Mr CRX was ok with it and spent his time reassuring me that he didnt mind and that he loved me for me, not for sex.

It all returned to normal within 3 months.

[ummmm]

Men are not always horny. They are just easier to get in the mood than us. I know if I fancied a bit I could wake him up and he'd be happy about. If he woke me up there is a good chance I'd tell him to puck off....!!!

[fluffyteddy]

p.s. I am pregnant and I really cant get enough :)

[ummmm]

Fluffyteddy....what a load of cr@p.

[sleepy1j]

mine never did return 15 years later lol

[B00]

You may not what to hear this Velvetee, but I lost my sex drive when I was pregnant with Mini Boo some 4 years ago and never really got it back.

If I'm being truthful, I honestly think I could live without it completely now.

That's not to say that when I do have sex that I don't enjoy it, I do. It just sometimes it just seems, well an effort really, God that sounds so bad doesn't it? :-(

Not sure what the solution is to be honest- other than doing what I do- when it's asked for/ offered etc by hubby I oblige. Sadly, I can't remember the last time I initiated it myself.

[ummmm]

I couldn't have sex with my last child. My other half spent some extra time in the bathroom with some choice magazines....!!!

[sqad617]

fluffyteddy is absolutely spot on and having the courage to say what all you frigid wives know.......

"I suggest you let him go see other women or even look at maybe an escort so there is no risk of any romance blossoming. You really do have to be realistic. If a man doesnt get what he needs he will look elsewhere."

Congratulations fluffy, you have my admiration.

[tamborine]

the same as for women.....what do we do while he's at work and we feel randy? The corner of the spin-dry is hardly satisfying! The postman/milkman/artisans already exhausted by 3pm ;)

[ummmm]

I understand that BOO. Babies are sex killers.....!!!

[obNOXious]

I have to be honest tamborine at the risk of raising your ire, none of the things you suggest are really an answer to an issue of one ( either ) partner having a long term high sex drive and one having a very low or non existant one. Of course men, all men, should be respectful of their woman's needs and not force their attentions where they are genuinely unwanted, however equally a woman needs to be aware that taking a 'potion' is really not an acceptable alternaive to the loving relationship that her husband thought he was going to have with his wife. As I said before I think communicaiton is by far the best way forward, but just as it's unreasonable to expect a woman to accept the advances of a man she does not wish to have sex with, it's equally unreasonable to expect a man to become celibate if that was not mentioned during the first formative months of the relationship and if ' never the twain shall meet' then it might be better for the hypothetical couple to seperate and find partners with more similar sex drives if there is nothing else sufficiently stimulating to keep them together. I am not naturally talking about temporary shifts in libido but obviously very long term situations.

[sqad617]

LOL tamborine LOL

[legendis.god]

Seems that sqd has now become fixated with ummmmm and her sex life.Am i the only one who thinks his interest has now gone from jokingly inquisitive to downright nosey verging on perverted nosiness?

My exwife was like that both times she was pregnant.

She was in her early twenties tho and not late 30s , im guessing that may have made a difference?