should baby have the fathers or the mothers last name?

[shaunzy]

I'm over 32 weeks pregnant now. Me and the babys father unfortunately split up when i was about 21 weeks pregnant. We are not married and not even together now.
We still speak and he is going to be involved in the babys life.
We decided to call him Theo Wilson, Wilson is the fathers last name. I was thinking, i could give him my last name, which is Parkin, couldn't i?
What does everyone think? I'm confused what i sould do now :/

[redcrx]

you can name your child with your surname or that of the father.

if i had split up with the father of my children before their birth then i would have given them my surname.

[shaunzy]

Thanx red :) Yeah, thats how i'm feeling, the more i think about it, i'd like him to have my last name now that me and his father arent together.
I mean the babys fathers last name Wilson, isn't his fathers last name, its his mothers as she wasnt married to his father (if you get me lol)
I haven't mentioned this to my babys father yet and dont know how he will feel about it. I hope he's ok with it

[shaunzy]

Not that it would come to this but where do i stand legally with the name thing? does anyone have more right that the other

[shaunzy]

than

[sara3]

it's your shout, shaunzy, but if I was in your situation the baby would have my name. don't feel pressurised to do something you don't want to.

[redcrx]

no, there is no law saying you have to call the baby either. But really as the mother you ought to be allowed by the father to make the decision. Explain to him why you feel that way
once thing to point out is that if you want the father on the birth certificate and youre not married you have to have the father present at the registrar office when you name the baby

[shaunzy]

Yeah, i dont want to give him the fathers last name and regret it when its too late

[tamborine]

If he hasn't married you he has no legal rights to your baby.....he just pays CSA - good innit?

[redcrx]

so tell the father now rather than spring it on him at the registrar

[AniaSM]

If you call the child Wilson but your not with him and you'r surname is Parkin wont that just lead to confusion? I personally would give the child my surname. I suppose it's all down to how big of a commitment the father is willing to make.

[shaunzy]

Do u have to have the father on the birth certificate then? so i'll have to have him with me when i do it then? if so, does he have to agree on the name?

[redcrx]

well it would help if he agreed but I cant see itd cause too much bother.
but if you want him on there and to acknowledge him as the father then yes he has to be there

[sara3]

I just think it's more consistent. you're the one likely to be registering him for nursery, school, doctors, claiming Child Benefit etc.. I'm sure it would make life a bit easier.

[shaunzy]

well i have made my mind up now, i am giving him my last name as im not with the babys father. He will be in the baby's life but the baby will be living with me and with me most of the time so i think its only fair he has my last name.
I will explain this to the father asap

[shaunzy]

well i want to acknowledge him as the father, just didnt realise he would have to be there to do the birth certificate

[redcrx]

he has to be there if youre not married.
otherwise a woman could go and put anyones name on there.
If married then either the mother or father can register the birth (the registrar will assume the child is both the wifes and husbands offspring lol

[Pigletion]

You could always give him the father's surname as a middle name, or second middle name? Particularly as Wilson could be a forename anyway..

Then if it works out amicably, you can explain why later on in life. If not, can just be an extra name, say you had a thing for the Beach Boys in pregnancy or something!

[Schutzengel]

Why not go for a hyphenated surname i,e Wilson-Parkin. That would mean no one being left out especially if the father does want to be involved with the child's upbringing even if you two are not together. This style of surname would acknowledge the father, and might be of importance to the child when it was old enough to understand, and with the second part of the name being yours, this would make it much easier (and make sense) for you when registering the child at nursery or school. Just a thought. Hope this helps.

[lozzylou]

sorry but i dont agree with these, i think the father's name shuld be used. if your surname is parkin and his fathers name is wilson and you give your son parkin. if you re marry then u will have a new name and your child wont have eiter mother or fathers name. the childs father will always be their father so why not let them have his name. it will be more confusing for the child if you re marry and the child dont have any of your names.

[redcrx]

lozzylou. the parents have split.
Id agree with you if they were a couple though.

i like the idea of the fathers surname as a middle name.