15 year old girl and a 30 year old man

[mrs_overall]

Scenario: a 15 year old girl is having a sexual relationship with a 30 year old man. It only comes to light when the girl plays truant and her parents report her missing. The Police find her on her way home and when quizzed, she spills the beans. The Police cannot prosecute the man because the girl refuses to make a statement.
However, the Police are refusing to go see or even phone the man to speak to him about the relationship. It is almost as if they are condoning the matter. Do you think at the very least he should receive a warning?

[mrs_overall]

No, she doesn't have learning difficulties. She took 2 GCSE's two years early, is taking 12 GCSE's at the moment and is going to do 5 A levels!

It was not a one off - its been going on for a few weeks.

I don't wrap her in cotton wool because of her sight - quite the opposite. She is out & about with friends like all other 15 year old girls.

[jackthehat]

Well, from the sounds of it, the next time she leaves the house will be to collect her pension.........:o)

[mike11111]

I thought that one of the roles of the police was crime prevention as well as apprehending offenders. In such a case I would think it appropriate that they should have a word in his ear to advise him of the danger he has put himself in. This would probably be to his benefit, making him more careful in future.

[mrs_overall]

Oh that is so true jack!

[Ellipsis]

Me too mike1111.

B00, we'll just have to agree to differ ... :)

[mrs_overall]

mike - that is all I want, for Plod to have a word. Nothing more, nothing less.

[milly143]

I don't want to sound mean Mrs_O but you contradict yourself a little. On one hand you say she is disabled and vulnerable then go on to say she is just like any other 15 year old girl.

I don't think the police should be 'having a word' with the guy if he believe she was 18. What would you want them to say to him?

On the other hand, I imagine if I was the mother in this situation I would probably want him hung.

[merciasounds]

This makes my blood boil - why have these damn laws if they're not enforced? Surely he should know that if she's playing truant from school, she's of 'school age', no matter how old she looks - and what is a man doing with a girl half his age anyway?

[jackthehat]

Perhaps your daughters reluctance to give a statement to the Police is full acknowledgement of the fact that she believes that she shoulders more of the blame than the chap involved ?

In itself, that is quite a mature attitude......I'm not sure if it is of any consolation to you, however.

[B00]

Why should he know if she's playing truant from school Mercia?

[ChuckFickens]

Firstly, I sorry to hear about your situation, MrsO. It must be a difficult time for you.

but I agree with cazzz, as a Bloke in my 30's I would be absolutely horrified and would be worried sick if I ever got caught out by a under age girl lying to me, But due to the fact I know teenagers lie about their age I would be very very cautious of anyone who told me they were 18. (I'd also think even 18 is too young for me, but I'm at the upper end of my 30's)

I would agree that a quiet, off the record, word with the bloke would be in order, I'd also hope the police would have a stern word with your daughter about putting herself and him in this situation by being deceitful.

[ixion]

I'm slightly surprised the police aren't speaking to the guy involved if only to advise him to be a bit more careful in future.

[sandrajo]

Some of my neices friends shouldn't be allowed out the house with the amount of makeup and lack of clothes their parents allow them to go out in and they are 14, looking around 19!!
The Police should be taking the matter more seriously, you can't just brush this under the carpet, they need to talk to the guy and they certainly need to talk to your daughter, she is 15 and could get herself into an awful lot of danger, she may not be so lucky the next time she meets a guy in the shop!!!

[China Doll]

Hi Mrs O,

I do agree with caz and Boobies in this instance, and I don't see why the police should speak to the chap in question other than to advise him to be more careful rather than tick him off.

I was however thinking that you could get in touch with social services and discuss the situation with them and that you feel your daughter is vulnerable and going through a rather low phase. They may be able to put in some support and help for her to address her own issues so she doesn't endanger herself in the future. I've a couple of teenagers on my books with support and help from social services, they've been doing well.

[mrs_overall]

China - I've had a phone call from Childrens Services (which I assume is a branch of the social services) and they were patronising and said that as she will be 16 soon they don't want any involvement - they were only phoning because Plod made a referral. They seemed more concerned about my obviously crap parenting skills.

[B00]

Typical eh Mrs? They seemed concerned about your crap parenting skills, of which im damn sure you're not, but won't offer help and advice?

[China Doll]

Sounds like you got a useless social worker then, for every brilliant one, there's always about five just going through the motions! I think it's the nature of the job, it grinds them down.

What borough are you in and would you like me to find out if it's feasible that social services could provide some support for your daughter? I could speak to my social worker here and ask her advice about what she would do in such a situation and report back to you - only if you want me to mind.

[mrs_overall]

They did say if I needed help and advice to contact her school. Helpful - not.

I'm calling a day on this post - thanks to all of you for taking the time to reply, but I'm getting all upset and tearful again. xx

[B00]

Awww Mrs O, hope i haven't contributed to making you upset with my remarks, i'm really sorry if i did xxx

[hc4361]

How is your daughter now? Is she heartbroken, upset or feeling stupid?