Baby Rememberance

[madness88]

I lost my son last weekend, he was 17 weeks early and survived for 23 hours.
I made a choice of not having a funeral service. But instead wanting to have a day for everyone to celebrate his short life. Does anyone have any ideas? Much appriciated in advance x

[tinkerbell23]

So very sorry to hear that madness. What a lovely idea. Ill get my thinking cap on for you....x

[madness88]

Thankyou x

[welshlibranr]

Really think that you're so brave!.......don't be too brave, you need to mourn him first, then celebrate his little life, not being morbid madness, but you have to go through the grieving process, be it now or later, and now is best, believe me, I know!......I was brave, and then it hit me nearly a year later!.......wish I'd grieved at the time!.......don't pretend to be brave madness!......

[tinkerbell23]

How about a gathering with friends and family, if the weathers still nice? Could wear pale blue or yellow baby colours and release balloons or have a book people can write in and do something with that?

Could you give everyone seeds to plant to remember him by? Or even plant something yourself that everyone could help with - even just by filling it in.

Good luck xxxxx

[ELVIS68]

Sorry to hear that but I agree with welsh

[Mamyalynne]

I totally agree that planting something in his memory would be a wondrous thing to do, it does not have to be sombre, as you know he is free now from any pain or suffering if he had lived longer. My heart truly goes out to you and all who have lost their children, the heartbreak is unimaginable to me.

[bunkmoreland]

would just like to offer a big hug here,madness,and say how sorry i am to hear of your baby's death. Welshlibrarian has some good words there and it's good for you to talk to someone who's gone through this ghastly experience also. It might be helpful for you to visit the SANDS website,there would be so many people there who could help you and maybe give you some suggestions for your son's rememberance day

[carmalee]

sorry for your loss madness - can't even to begin to imagine how you must feel - cyber hugs and calm thoughts xC

[anneasquith]

sorry to hear about your wee baby.......... a day of celebration is a lovely idea, take care . anne

[tiggerblue10]

So sorry for your loss Madness xxx

[whiskeryron]

So difficult to put into words how I feel about your loss madness,I hope this helps
Ron.♥

All Is Well
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household world that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well
.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul 's Cathedral

[I.Don No]

I was so sorry to hear of your loss Madness. Please do not be afraid to cry and do not be afraid to smile.

Thanks Ron for reminding us of that poem.

[starone]

I am not brave madness, I am crying for you. Especially after reading ron's poem, which I had read at my husband's funeral. If you want to cry, then cry. Whenever I read sad things like yours I am afraid I dissolve into tears.

[kerriesmum]

A memory box.
Everyone could put a small message on a piece of paper, a poem or a verse from a song or a message to the little one.
Im not sure what you could do with it after but it may comfort you in years to come going through all the letters messages etc . Im sorry for all your grief x.

[andy-hughes]

I would think seriously about having this day next year - on his birth date.

That will be a difficult day, and you will need your family around you, and you wil have hopefully begun to assimilate his loss, and weave his absence into your life.

I believe that now is too soon, and as advised, you need to grieve properly, and that needs to be for you and your immediate family only. Do that first, and then involve others at a later time.

[notasyoungasiwas]

I too think it would be a good idea to plant something in the little lad's memory and watch it grow every year, possibly a flowering tree of some sort and call it his tree for future generations to visit and remember him. I am so so sorry for your loss xx

[madness88]

Thankyou all for the kind words and suggestions. xxx

[bednobs]

hi madness, as before, if you are not already on the SANDS forum, i urge you to go. I have lost 2 babies, both at 27 weeks and that place has been like a lifeline to me. Someone on here called my daughter (stillborn at 27 weeks) a miscarriage and it hurt me so much it can still bring tears to my eyes now. She was so beautiful; complete.
On sands, everyone understands without having to start at the beginning, and they have loads of great ideas about bithdays, due dates etc. They understand how you have not just lost a baby, but all of your hopes and dreams for that child and also a large part of yourself.
please come on over :) http://www.forum.sandsforum.org/

[pussnboots]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I lost a daughter born at 41 weeks back in 1971. Although it has long gone I have never forgotten the heartache and always have a guiet time to myself on her birthday (26th December). You must celebrate the day in a way which makes you feel better, but in my experience a couple of hours with your own thoughts and a good cry is very helpful.

[Ann]

So sorry to hear your sad news - God bless you. Why not plant some snowdrops in the Autumn on the grass verges near your house or on some waste ground. A husband did that in memory of his wife in our town, all her family and friends brought along some bulbs on one special "remembrance day" and planted them together in various places. Now several years later, there are fantastic displays every year and these are always known as "Sandra's snowdrops"