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Well just got off the phone to my sister and have decided I am NOT going to see her, her husband will be there, my sister has said he will leave the room and give me five minutes alone with her. I would like to say thank you for all your advice, I think I needed to hear other people's opinions, but as I said, she has had seventeen years in which to try and make peace, explain why she did what she did. Yes she is dying, but at anytime over the years she could have been run over by a bus (or I could) and then this opportunity wouldn't have arisen, I don't need to make her feel better by unburdening herself and I will learn to live with the fact that I didn't say goodbye to her, even though my daughter has said she would understand, it would not feel right to me to go and see my mother, I would feel like I was betraying my daughter. Thank you to all.