really sad

[bednobs]

i noticed today that my 8 week old had a small discharge on her girl bits. i asked my husband if he'd seen it before when he bathed her/ changed the nappy. his reply was that he didn't look at those bits. when pressed on why he said it felt a bit wrong to be looking at her bits.
That is a really sad indictment on today's society that a dad feels he shouldn't be looking at his daughters bits when she's 8 weeks old.
Do other dads feel like this/? like they'll be criticised or disapproved for it?

[starone]

Very sad bedknobs' cuddles are so important to anyone and it is such a pity when you are almost afraid to touch your own child.

[grasscarp]

I beg to differ. I dont find it sad. I think he is a very caring parent, and the fact that he didnt take a closer look shows that he is respecting her. I wouldnt expect a man to notice something like a discharge and kind of think this is down to the mother to look out for. From afar I think he is something very rare.

[baza]

when Mrs B came home with baby B the health visitor arrived , baby needed changing so up to the mark goes me, nappy changed health visitor impressed, no problem, mind you it was 30 yrs ago.

[douglas9401]

It didn't bother me sixteen years ago and I hope that if I had to live through it again today I'd feel the same.
It's part of the job description really isn't it?

[bednobs]

lol@breeny

[FredPuli43]

Odd, Can't see why a father wouldn't. He's looked at her mother's bits, often enough! I would and did as and when required. It's your baby girl you're inspecting, not some strange woman ( though male gynaecologists have to do that; everything is right, in its context)!

[sherrardk]

Breeny, as a newcomer it's probably best not to have a go at people until you get the lay of the land - having an opinion is one thing, having a go at individuals is another.

[bednobs]

i didn't take it as having a go at all :) no-one need get upset on my behalf

[sherrardk]

Sorry, same as 2sp (I will go and sit on the naughty step for a bit).

[bednobs]

it's very stressful! you?

[seadogg]

Outside the home things have changed also. Now, if we are showing children the lifeboat we must not touch them, so smaller children miss the helping hand. I guess teachers may have similar problems.

[bednobs]

:) ach, don't worry. i smiled cause as i posted the q i wondered how long it would be before someone suggested something sinister. i was not let down!

[grasscarp]

I think this whole thread is becoming a tad heavy. He bathed an 8 week old child. Probably finding the whole think quite difficult as they are tiny, slippery and totally in your care during this exercise. The fact that he didnt notice what you say was a small discharge on part of her body is not in the slightest bit either surprising or noteworthy. I think he would be sad to know you are asking what we thought of his oversight.

[ummmm]

To be fair I didn't like changing my daughters nappy. The boys bits are external...but with a girl you have to check that it hasn't gone inside for risk of infection.

It does get easier though. Once they're on solids their No2's are more contained (I couldn't think of a better word)