Birthday cards for family

[Smowball]

I'm the type of person whon always sends cards to people, even if I don't get one back - it's just the way I am. But what do you do if somebody has been really vile, and you know its their birthday very soon. Would you rise above it and send a card anyway, or would you deliberatley not send one this time?

[Smowball]

I am soooo tempted to do that lol

[albaqwerty]

just don't cave in Smo xx

[chaptazbru]

But don't you think sending a card with an unfriendly message, and no money if you usually send money will also make the situation worse ?

[albaqwerty]

an adult child shouldn't be expecting any money anyway.

[Smowball]

Teenager.

[daisya]

As another alternative...maybe....could you sit down with said child and talk things through to clear the air...then the card problem could be solved? Might be worth a try if you fell you can, then it would prevent things escalating in the future.

[albaqwerty]

aaah, is this the 18 year old Smo?

[daisya]

*feel* (not fell)

[Smowball]

Yep, the 18yr old.

[joko]

depends.

was the vileness a one-off flip out? or an ongoing premediated series of horribleness?

if the first id probably send a very basic somewhat formal card with no money it - just to make that point that although they are your child and you love them, you are still hurt an angry with them

if the second, then no i'd send nothing at all.
some kids need to feel that feeling of suddenly you are no longer there for them as you always have been before, to make them realise what their life may be like without you.

the gesture of sending nothing will not go unnoticed an may make them think twice

[albaqwerty]

right-i-o, just post a card (I presume he's home now) inside just write 'love from mum', enclose a fiver.

If he expects more for himself, then he is a numpty, you have a younger child at home who needs more things than he does. (If he goes off on one) Remind him you have already helped out and will continue to do so if and when asked.

[Smowball]

joko, the second. I would print what he said, and subsequently text me but you seriously wouldn't believe it.

[tinkerbell23]

:0( xxx

[albaqwerty]

oh bruvver Smo, and he is a father!!!
Silly boy.

I am not going to offer any excuses for the d1ckwad, but in that case, no card, no olive branch, nothing.

[Smowball]

Hi Tinks xx

[tinkerbell23]

Hey you xxxx

[lcg]

no....why bother? if you can't stand them you may as well save the money and ignore them. i certainly wouldn't stick any money in it after the way he's treated you. let him do the grovelling and chasing....he is supposed to be grown up, after all! x

[China Doll]

When I was particularly cross with my sister who had been a tit I just said happy birthday and left it at that. It would not make me feel good not to acknowledge her at all on her birthday, plus I knew we'd sort it out eventually, (which we did). So I would send a card or even just a text, with a not very personal message in and no present.

[Brinjal]

For my child I would send one. Not necessary to include gift or cash. But I would send a card. Have a lovely day love mum. Simple

[Smowball]

Morning, oh I do try and excuse his behaviour but my sense of reasoning has just about gone.