A Neighbour Has

[emmie]

passed away. I didn't like her one little bit, and seems the feelings were mutual. However would it by hypocritical to give my condolences to her partner, who is a bit of an oddbod, but now in his dotage..

[jackthehat]

If you offer him your condolences on *his* loss, there is no hypocrisy.

[mccfluff]

as above

[mrs_overall]

It would be a nice gesture and show what a big hearted person you are

[LoftyLottie]

Ditto

[DJHawkes]

maybe he will become the neighbour his late partner was not, could be the start of something worthwhile

[emmie]

i guess that is what you would say, and i do think so too. Must admit it was a surprise to see two ambulances, then two police cars roll up out front,
they were there for much of the morning. I won't do this today, but wait till tomorrow.

[emmie]

sad to say she was a shrieking harridan all the days i knew her, never a good word for anyone. He is a strange cove, and is getting on in years, so will likely see him soon.

[dickythecook]

Say that she was a treasure, and being bur... is what she would have wanted. I think that should do it!

[mrs_overall]

em if you really can't face it then why not buy a nice card and write something suitable. You can then post it through his letterbox

[dickythecook]

Ah I forgot the arrows thing. dtc puts on his coat and, exits

[China Doll]

If you see him and he talks to you then say something, if you don't then don't go out of your way to say something specifically. That's what I'd do anyway.

[emmie]

believe it or not neither had spoken to us for over 30 years, except to use bad words, no idea why. He has mellowed a little in the last year or so, and has passed a good morning here and there, mellowing perhaps. I would have passed a more conciliatory tone, until she called me some pretty vile names, none of which i could add on here for being immediately blipped. i will either get a card or pop round.

[boxtops]

Not at all hypocritical. You can be sad for him in his loss, even if you won't miss her at all.

[emmie]

you are right of course, thanks

[Canary42]

Sorry to go against the flow - but given the open hostility, won't a sympathy note/gesture seem like sarcasm and/or gloating.

Yes, I am a cynic, but he may be too.

[China Doll]

Well if you've not spoken for thirty years except for bad words then I don't think I'd be inclined to start now. I'd not say anything at all under those circumstances, I wouldn't see the need.

[boxtops]

You could just say something if you happen to see him, not make a special point of it - but this could be a good point to bury the hatchet, if you can.

[naomi24]

If you get on with the partner, there's no hypocrisy in expressing your condolences to him. If you were friendly with neither of them, there's no point in saying anything.