Elderly Neighbour Neglected By Family, Need Help What To Do?

[Gyvybe]

Hi,
We have an elderly poorly neighbour who we know has been struggling to look after himself. We've been seeing some of his adult children pop in and out in the last couple of months so we assumed he's looked after.

Until last night.

At 10pm I heard someone calling 'Help!' 'Help!' We came outside, and found our neighbour collapsed on this front garden, just in front on the door, topless, disorientated, calling for help. My husband tried to carry him inside but he was too heavy. I called another neighbour and they carried him inside. What they found there was shocking - the house was like a skip, dirty, messy, the man looked like he hasn't washed for weeks, he's been smoking inside, and he highly likely lived in the living room for a while. Turned out he is also a diabetic, and hasn't been taking the medication. The man insisted we do not call anyone, and that he'll be fine.

My husband called the Ambulance and also called a number on the old man's mobile with the hope of reaching a relative. His daughter picked it up, but as she was in West Midlands and we are based in Hampshire, she promised she'll call his other son, her brother.

This so called son rocked up 10 minutes later with his wife, walked past us, mumbled something, and - luckily - the ambulance arrived at the same time.

The ambulance took our neighbour into hospital. Obviously, as not related to the man, we were not told what will happen next. Will there be a social care person assigned to him? Will they just release him as per normal? He can't survive on his own by the looks of it, and we simply don't know how the system works and how to help him.

My question is - what can we do? Should we call social services? How to find out who to call?

The very least is the risk of him smoking in bed/ on the sofa / etc. and setting his house alight as he clearly is too old to look after himself...
Please help.

[bednobs]

why should canary shut up? He/she has a point, and the OP pointed the finger first!

[LoftyLottie]

With respect Bednobs, Canary was having a dig at the OP. The OP hadn't considered the fact that the offspring have offered help and now she does. It is not necessary to be rude to other ABers and Canary was.

[woofgang]

Bedknobs, I can't see anything in the OP's question apart from a statement of the facts and the epithet "so called" applied to the son...if you can see anything that I missed, perhaps you would quote it and I will then apologise to you and to canary

[LoftyLottie]

My mother was constantly putting her self in danger in my opinion, but Social Services couldn't intervene because she wouldn't let them near her and she wasn't deemed unable to make her own decisions.

[LoftyLottie]

I agree Woofy.

[bednobs]

sorry, i disagree :) The op has stated the person is being "neglegted" by their family.

[woofgang]

In the title? you are right and for missing that i apologise to you. I still think there was no call for canary's response.

[LoftyLottie]

The difference is that Canary was being personally rude to the OP. None of us know who this family is and many threads carry titles like this. It was not a direct insult.

[bednobs]

in the end, i don't suppose it really matters to the poster (or the neighbour) what we all think about how it came accross :)

[pugthedog]

i would ring social service's if only to put your mind at rest it's a pity his family is not as caring as you good people

[woofgang]

and agin pugthedog, we don't know that. many of us have been in circs where a loved family member has refused to be helped.

[daffy654]

Canary had no right to judge at all, afterall, the neighbours have no obligation to look out for (or after) a neighbour, especially when they could assume the family was doing so already.

[bednobs]

imo neither do a family

[Gyvybe]

Unfortunately The Answer Bank doesn't allow editing question titles, and perhaps I should have called it somewhat different, perhaps it's a bit too judgmental. Apologies for that.
Thanks for the feedback, loads to think about, will have to see how it goes.

[Mamyalynne]

Gyvybe my opinion for what it is worth is that so far you have done your part as caring neighbours, wait and see what happens if and when he is released from Hospital and once more gently offer some help - e.g. lawn mowing, a bit of shopping. If it is rejected there is not much you can do but keep an eye open for anything unusual.

[netibiza]

I agree Gyvybe, you seem to be extremely caring as a neighbour, wish more neighbours were like you.