How Would You Feel??

[jd_1984]

A couple plan to wed abroad as part of a 2 week holiday in the carribean with family.
The bride is very excited and is looking forward to her dream day (as many women tend to).
Now, the groom's dad has asked whether the couple mind if he renews his vows to grooms mother at some point during the 2 weeks in the resort. He wants to suprise her on a day seperate to the wedding day.
Groom is impartial but slightly on the side of "that is a really nice idea".
Bride is totally against as it is "our wedding and the guests will be talking more about the romantic gesture by grooms dad"!!

What say you lot??

Should groom politely inform dad that not a good idea? Surely that is his only way of having a harmonious wedding??

[pixie373]

It wouldn't worry me personally. I hate being centre of attention. But I don't feel it would be helpful to go ahead with this arrangement if the bride isn't happy. It won't be forgotten. Probably better for him to arrange it another time anyway. Or- at least warn the bride's dad, so he too can join in. Otherwise the bride's mother might be put out!

[Octavius]

Personally I would tell the cheapskate to book his own occasion and not hijack mine. Even if it was my mum and dad.

Two weeks in the sun + another occasion to celebrate another happy union. Unless their anniversary falls during the holiday, I can't see why the b&g should agree to it.

[Connemmara]

I guess we have all contributed many various answers but que sera sera (what will be will be)!!! - do hope whatever outcome is - it is a happy one for all concerned. Conne

[elliemay1]

I said that yest pixie. I don't think it's fair on the bride's mum and dad. It could hurt her that he didn't come up with this "romantic" idea.

[friedgreentomato]

I think its the ideal time to do it - all the family and friends are there.

Its just one day for the wedding, if she wants the whole two weeks to be special and hers, don't go on honeymoon with your family, simples!

[pixie373]

Exactly, elliemay. Two weeks with all those family members and a wedding thrown in already. I can see things getting rather awkward!

[WELSHYORKIE]

Get the bride to have a word with her dad and do the same - a double renewing of vows - on the last day of the honeymoon

[elliemay1]

I can't believe that no one else can see this side of it , pixie, especially the groom. If it was me I'd be mortified. Can you comment on this aspect please, jd-1984?

[elliemay1]

But Welshy, that would be so contrived. I await jd's view.

[pixie373]

If i was the bride, i would already have had a quiet word with my dad to let him know the "surprise". although if the bride is saying no to it, it may nit happen anyway.

[jd_1984]

Yes the groom is me....!!!

[elliemay1]

Well then, jd, did you consider the bride's mother in all this?

[Canary42]

I can see it now - the Dad springs his "surprise" and his wife is so horrified at his butting in on her son's event she leaves him there and then - a lovely way to round off the occasion LOL

[jd_1984]

I agree that as a gesture the groom's (my) dad's idea is very romantic. However the one person not considered is groom's mother. She could either see it as romantic, or, be mortified that the father chose this holiday to do it.
The bride's parents may also feel a bit put out, yes I considerd that too.
Ultimately, whatever romantic intentions, it is a scenario where by others may feel it wasnt appropriate and a measured decision must be made to ensure harmony between all in laws and guets etc......

[rockyracoon]

Whatever the outcome jd, good luck, I don't envy you sorting this out.

[snags]

''Personally I would tell the cheapskate to book his own occasion and not hijack mine''

^ Agree.

[elliemay1]

I would say that, " the one person not considered" is the bride's mum. Can you not see that?

[pixie373]

Congratulations, jd. Speak to your fiancee and agree it between you. Start as you mean to go on! :-)

[jd_1984]

My other half is happy to help and plan a lovely, yet very seperate, renewal of vows for my folks. She wants them to go ahead and do it and can see how much my dad adores my mum. But I have to agree, potentially people may feel uncomfortable. Knowing my mum, she may feel a mixture of joy mixed with embarrassment. All in all my dad hasnt put forward his best ever idea!!

[jd_1984]

elliemay, yes I did consider the feelings of her parents (who are divorced and now have new partners.) Trust me its complicated! The mother of the bride potentially being the only woman who gets no recognition (i assume this is what you are getting at)?