Unplanned 3Rd Pregnancy. Advice??

[yellownana]

Right. I am around 5 weeks pregnant with my third. I have an almost 3 year old and 5 year old. This was unplanned and a big shock. I was in the pill and it failed.

I work part time and my partner works loads so is hardly at home. We have a 3 bed house and pay quite a lot on child care.

We get on, but having a bit of a difficult time at the minute with arguing etc. my 5 year old is quite high maintenance and a handful. I wasn't happy about being pregnant again , but don't think I can have an aborton. I just don't want to struggle. I am 30. My mum has said if I keep this baby it will be a big mistake as I wouldn't cope. My partner wants it, but knows we probably will struggle. I don't know what to do. I feel sick with sorry as not sure id cope, but don't want to make a mistake and regret it. Any advice, or has anyone been in a similar position. Is 3 children that hard. I'm not the greatest on no sleep and I'm impatient and snappy. I'm not asking anyone to make this decision. But some advice would be nice. I feel awful.

[yellownana]

As Mandimoo thanks for the reply. With emotions running high that almost made me cry. I so so wish I could look forward to it, but I picture a scene from lord of the flies are something. Screaming baby and two older ones running round like god knows what. I do want it, but then I don't. It's from one extreme to the next. This is why I'm so scared I make the wrong decision. :-(. Thanks for all the replies. It does help. X

[mazie]

My Daughter was the same as you, on the pill and got caught for her 3rd child. She looked at all the options as she had just started her own business (about a year prior) She went to see the consultant and decided she just could not go ahead with an abortion.... She felt as you do now, "how ever am I going to cope" Anyway she went ahead and had a beautiful baby girl..... 4 month later her husband *** off back to his own country and she was left to bring up a 5 year old, 4 year old and a 4 month old... She did more than cope and has 3 well balanced, loving kids who adore her... the eldest will be 11 in a few months time.... We women always manage it yellownana. The best of luck with whatever you decide. xx

[yellownana]

I was a stay at home mum for a year and it was nice. I did start to get a little bit Fred up though and the extra money is nice for us. It's not a high paying job, but I love it. Gives me structure and time to myself. Plus my own little float of money.

[black_cat51]

hi, i really think the fact you are disappointed and upset about the pregnancy is giving you your answer

[2sp_]

I have two kids, 4 and 2, and even though we are taking all the necessary precautions I live in fear of getting pregnant again.

We are very happy with the two we have, money is comfortable, the house is big enough and the chaos is bearable.

I don't know what I would do in your situation. Sitting here, not pregnant, I can easily say that I would have a termination, but in reality I doubt it would be that cut and dry. (Not that I'm telling you to have a termination.)

How does your partner feel about termination?

[Mags22]

Don't do anything you might regret, try to talk to someone at your doctors surgery. Remember,babies bring their love, and they do grow up, and as my gran-in-law told me ' the dust will still be there tomorrow again'. An untidy house is a happy house in my opinion. Good luck whatever you decide.

[berniecuddles]

colinandjess -how dare you! I was giving advice about abortion not inciting her to abort! I have four children and thankfully have never had to make a choice. Try giving some help or support instead of looking for a fight, this is not your show!
spot on!!

[mandimoo]

Retrochick your first reply did very much sound like enticement to abort and you came across quite harsh.

[Retrochic]

mandimoo -it depends on your point of view about abortion whether you find my comments sensible or harsh. Sometimes cold hard facts on your options are better than mushy half-hearted sentimentality.I was advising her that IF she made the decision to end the pregnancy then better do it sooner rather than later. having read further comments from the OP I think she can maybe work through these if she wants to, but she has to want to and be comfortable with her decision, whichever it is.

[Old_Geezer]

Many have coped in the past. The decision is ultimately yours but do talk it over with your partner. It does occur to me that as you find a greater demand on your time with the new one, then the others are that much older so may not need quite so much keeping constant tabs on. But maybe your advice would be better coming from those who have tried it, than myself.

[Sqad]

I totally agree with Retrochic.

The pill failed.....????

[Old_Geezer]

It also occurs to me that it may be more likely one would regret a termination than one would regret the added stress of bringing up another child.

[Ric.ror]

Ask your self this will you regret having another child in 10 years?

[jennyjoan]

Hi Nana - I can't advise cos I never had any of my own.

However, a friend of mine - her daughter is pregnant with her 3rd - actually due in September. Her first is 20 years old her second is 10 and this is the 3rd.

She works full-time - looks after an amputee dad and to me she copes very well. Good luck with any decision you make.

[ummmm]

Sqad - the pill isn't 100%

[Abdullah101]

5 and 3 years. they are old enough. You can have a new one. My suggestion is be happy to be a 3rd mum.

[2sp_]

yellownana, what is your extended family like? Can you rely on Grandparents, Aunties and Uncles to help out?

If you do go ahead with the pregnancy, you will cope. I don't doubt that it will be hard work, but if you have the right support round you that could make all the difference.

Good luck. Remember the final decision is yours.

[yellownana]

Thanks everyone. Xxh