Kids Paying "keep"

[hammerman]

Daughter is 16. She's a good kid and i'm very proud of her.

She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college.

She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.

Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.

I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.

My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.

My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.

I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.

What do you think ?

[Retrochic]

I would never expect my 16 year old to pay for groceries. That s why the government gives parents child allowance up until they are 18 -if she is expected to pay for groceries then hand over her child allowance to her! She's studying and working what more do you want?

[joeluke]

Kids who don't pay their parents any 'keep' simply take advantage, treat the place like a hotel, and have far less inclination to leave home

Too many parents are soft and need to belatedly cut the umbilical cord

[EDDIE51]

As she is in full time education you should be getting child benefit for her and family tax credit if you work.

[Sycamore3House]

I would not buy toiletries for her other than soap, toothpaste & shampoo used by all. But I would ask her to hand something over each week or month and then save it for her. Give back a percentage after a year and save the rest for the future. Uni, 1st car, travelling. Etc

[KenR]

I think she should contribute as long as she is earning.
I always paid 20% of my income to my dad. Started with my first Saturday job when I was at school and the % stayed the same when I was on a reasonable full time wage untill I left home. It didn't really cover my keep, especially on my £5 a day Saturday job, but it was a good discipline and made me feel better.
When my dad died we came across a bank book with my name on it. He had banked, in my name, all the money I had paid over the years. Never thought for a second that was what he was doing the money I was giving him.

[Retrochic]

kenR you are missing the point here -you paid your way because you were 'working'. Hammermans daughter is studying for her A levels at college and working a couple of jobs for pocket money. Totally different scenario.

[ummmm]

Error....Ken said he paid from his Saturday job when he was at school.

[Mamyalynne]

I have read everyone's input and there are some splendid points made.


I have thought what I would do in this young ladies situation (if things remained as they are)- I'd spend half and save half to add to the generous sum already promised by Grandparents, now that's 'enterprising'.

[Retrochic]

error: he said it started with his Saturday job and continued into full time work but thank you dharling for pointing out my 'error' I'm sure its made your day.

[sunny-dave]

My inclination is to say "She's only 16 and is working hard at school and for her 'pocket money' " - I think an awful lot of people be more than happy with the situation and would think that that is enough.

If it does grind your gears then perhaps offer a choice - either an agreed level of contribution to chores, or an agreed financial contribution - but, personally, I'd sit back and wait for another couple of years.

[ummmm]

No, it hasn't made my day, funnily enough.

[Retrochic]

sunny-dave I totally agree. You do your best for your children and if that means supporting them financially until they get on their own two feet then that's the way it should be. To be honest there could be a time in the future when the OP will be glad his daughter is there to look out for him and perhaps support him in his old age.

[hammerman]

Wow....thank you for all the comments. Just to say that she has more disposable income in a week than i have in a month !!!

[sunny-dave]

"Be kind to your children - remember that they will choose your care home"

[Mamyalynne]

Me too HM, I was always very careful with money, yet always looked good at a fraction of the cost. My pals frittered it away.


Good luck with whatever choice you make.

[Marijn]

She has three part-time jobs, is in fulltime education, you already get child benefit for her, and she's only sixteen. It sounds like she's doing really well, bless her..... so I say your wife is right; don't ask for any of her wages.

[factor-fiction]

Another factor could be the state of the household finances. If it's a real struggle to make ends meet then daughter could be asked to make a nominal contribution, but if money is not a major issue then I would just be grateful the daughter has so many additional jobs and expect her to pay for some things like make-up and nights out

[gness]

She may not always, Hammerman......she sounds fantastic so why not let her enjoy what she's working for.....many don't do that.....and you and MrsH enjoy her while she's at home with you.....xx

[humbersloop]

At this stage, I'd be more bothered about her not doing anything around the house and not saving than whether or not she pays keep.

She's obviously a grafter but she's not learning what it actually takes to really keep yourself going, or the value of money and time- just doing her own washing and ironing might be a start for instance. It's amazing what no clean clothes does to a teenager.

If, on your figures, she's getting through seventy five quid a week on clothes and new nails, with grandparents waiting to pay for the driving lessons and the car, possibly a stint volunteering at the local foodbank might be an eyeopener for her about the value of disposable income?

[mrs.chappie]

When you say, "She spends most nights at her boyfriend's" - does she eat and sleep there? If so, might she be paying his parents towards her keep?