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Kids Paying "keep"
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Daughter is 16. She's a good kid and i'm very proud of her.
She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college.
She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.
Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.
I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.
My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.
My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.
I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.
What do you think ?
She's at college for 2 years studying travel and tourism. She also has several part time jobs including waitressing in he local, working in New Look and some cleaning for a friend. She has no travel expenses as she walks to college.
She does live at home but spends most nights at her boyfriends.
Presently, she doesn't pay us a penny in "keep". But i think she should contribute to the household...and my wife doesn't.
I earnt £40 a week as a 16 year old and paid my folks £10 a week.
My daughter spends her money on clothes, haircuts, new fingernails etc etc...she doesn't save a penny. I cook her dinners and buy all food, toiletries etc, she also has sky multiroom in her room and she does sod all around the house.
My parents spoil her rotten, they're saving up for her driving lessons, first car, insurance etc and have around £5k for that so there's no incentive for her to save.
I think she should be contributing around 15% of her wages per month.
What do you think ?
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i did chores for my pocket money, when i got a paper round i didnt get pocket money amy more. still did the chores though. when i started working i paid rent, it was a lot more than my friends, but when i moved out, i was used to paying my way.
my op. she should pay something, life isnt free and the sooner you get used to that the better
my op. she should pay something, life isnt free and the sooner you get used to that the better
I certainly hope that none of my replies have suggested anything other than what a great girl she sounds and of course the switch may happen if and when she fancies a place of her own.
It has however brought two instances back to mind - my youngest daughter having seen her trailblazing older sister get a mortgage at 18, decided to run before she could walk (16).
After a month away, she phoned and rather indignantly asked me 'Have you any idea how much y water rates are?' - I told her the cost of mine and she went quiet, hers were half the amount.
The other is a few months ago, went shopping with my Grandson (11) to spend some of his birthday money - he fancied an airplane replica, picked it up and having looked at the price announced loudly 'How much!! - I'm not made of money'.
It has however brought two instances back to mind - my youngest daughter having seen her trailblazing older sister get a mortgage at 18, decided to run before she could walk (16).
After a month away, she phoned and rather indignantly asked me 'Have you any idea how much y water rates are?' - I told her the cost of mine and she went quiet, hers were half the amount.
The other is a few months ago, went shopping with my Grandson (11) to spend some of his birthday money - he fancied an airplane replica, picked it up and having looked at the price announced loudly 'How much!! - I'm not made of money'.
What we have here is a little one sided as if the house is a hotel. Personally, I think that she could do a few odd-jobs around the house and you both need to sit down and discuss/negotiate this through, also explaining the reasons in the longer run why this is being done.....
I would also raise the question of the money that she is earning and you could suggest that she gives you say 20 or 25 per cent of it but that you would put it into savings for her and that this could be very beneficial if she goes to Uni or later on for her first house.
Just be aware of tax implications too - usually the need to claim it back - however, there are allowance limitations and on interest accruing from savings and investments. This is quite useful:
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Obviously it sounds as if she is being a good student and this you need to encourage, additional hours at work to cover your 'weekly or monthly charge' may work against her diligence in studying......
I would also raise the question of the money that she is earning and you could suggest that she gives you say 20 or 25 per cent of it but that you would put it into savings for her and that this could be very beneficial if she goes to Uni or later on for her first house.
Just be aware of tax implications too - usually the need to claim it back - however, there are allowance limitations and on interest accruing from savings and investments. This is quite useful:
https:/
Obviously it sounds as if she is being a good student and this you need to encourage, additional hours at work to cover your 'weekly or monthly charge' may work against her diligence in studying......
I think answering via my phone and trying to keep it somewhat brief maybe led to some confusion with Retrochic and Ummmm.
I started paying keep when I was earning £5 working in a shop when I was 14. Later, after college etc when I started working full time in career, I tried to pay more to be somewhat realistic, but as my dad said "Even the manager of the Beatles only got 10%, so 20% is more than fair". Basically, any earned income I had I paid 20% to my folks. There were times I was working and times I wasn't. They didn't need it by any means, I just saw it as the right thing to do.
I never had the slightest inkling he was actually using it as the start of a savings plan for me. Had I known I may not have been so keen to contribute or would have no doubt wanted to access it occasionally. First I knew was the savings book after he died when I was married man of 32.
On a lighter note I have to add that my main puzzlement was the reference to the Beatles. He was more a Peggy Lee, Sousa and Kings Singers style man whilst I was more rooted in Punk...
I started paying keep when I was earning £5 working in a shop when I was 14. Later, after college etc when I started working full time in career, I tried to pay more to be somewhat realistic, but as my dad said "Even the manager of the Beatles only got 10%, so 20% is more than fair". Basically, any earned income I had I paid 20% to my folks. There were times I was working and times I wasn't. They didn't need it by any means, I just saw it as the right thing to do.
I never had the slightest inkling he was actually using it as the start of a savings plan for me. Had I known I may not have been so keen to contribute or would have no doubt wanted to access it occasionally. First I knew was the savings book after he died when I was married man of 32.
On a lighter note I have to add that my main puzzlement was the reference to the Beatles. He was more a Peggy Lee, Sousa and Kings Singers style man whilst I was more rooted in Punk...
i always made it clear to my son that he was expected to get a 'proper' job at 16 and pay his own way - not necessarily because i am mean (!), but because we have always been skint. however, he is now at uni full time and works in a local supermarche for 16 hours a week (so probably earns as much as i do in real terms as a nurse living down south and renting!).
he started with paper rounds, and although he goes out a lot and has a motorbike, he pays £100 towards food now and pretty much else keeps himself (clothes, toiletries, socialising etc - but i help him sometimes with books or phones/stuff that he may not have the money for if they are larger sudden purchases/utter essentials).
i think getting kids to pay their way is responsible, teaches them self-restraint and invaluable life and budgeting skills they will practice for the rest of their life. it depends how much they are getting - not necessarily what they would like to spend it on!!! it could be a token amount like £20-50, or a larger sum like my son. what he doesn't know is that i am saving it for when he wants to flee the nest and rents/buys his own place. he thinks it is spent and so doesn't nag us for it/it doesn't cause 'issues' and he can be more secure than i was at that age. (and it helped swing the compromise with my hubby - see later).
from your description......she would be giving me the £50-100 mark (hair etc costs a female a fortune, even if done cheaply!) and i would be going on strike for perks/housework (such as sky tv/washing/meals/taxi services rendered etc.). while i got money from him, he remained a lazy toad, and i tried talking to him nicely about his utter sloth, but nothing worked.
the lack of tv in his room and me watching strictly constantly suddenly made him change his mind.....along with no clean clothes or food! he not begrudgingly joins in the washing up and cooking now.....but it is still not of a good standard. i wish you luck in your negotiations.....and don't give in to tantrums or tears! she is a growing lass on the cusp of adulthood and should be reminded!!! you and your wife need not fall out about a compromise.....just meet in the middle of what you both think and see how it goes from there.
he started with paper rounds, and although he goes out a lot and has a motorbike, he pays £100 towards food now and pretty much else keeps himself (clothes, toiletries, socialising etc - but i help him sometimes with books or phones/stuff that he may not have the money for if they are larger sudden purchases/utter essentials).
i think getting kids to pay their way is responsible, teaches them self-restraint and invaluable life and budgeting skills they will practice for the rest of their life. it depends how much they are getting - not necessarily what they would like to spend it on!!! it could be a token amount like £20-50, or a larger sum like my son. what he doesn't know is that i am saving it for when he wants to flee the nest and rents/buys his own place. he thinks it is spent and so doesn't nag us for it/it doesn't cause 'issues' and he can be more secure than i was at that age. (and it helped swing the compromise with my hubby - see later).
from your description......she would be giving me the £50-100 mark (hair etc costs a female a fortune, even if done cheaply!) and i would be going on strike for perks/housework (such as sky tv/washing/meals/taxi services rendered etc.). while i got money from him, he remained a lazy toad, and i tried talking to him nicely about his utter sloth, but nothing worked.
the lack of tv in his room and me watching strictly constantly suddenly made him change his mind.....along with no clean clothes or food! he not begrudgingly joins in the washing up and cooking now.....but it is still not of a good standard. i wish you luck in your negotiations.....and don't give in to tantrums or tears! she is a growing lass on the cusp of adulthood and should be reminded!!! you and your wife need not fall out about a compromise.....just meet in the middle of what you both think and see how it goes from there.
You certainly should be proud of your hard working daughter Hammerman. She has an admirable work ethic that will stand her in good stead.
I like your idea of saving in an ISA for her, my mother did similar for me many years ago and it bought my first bed when I left home.
Once she's 18 you could charge her a little more until she is eventually in full time work and needing to pay her rent proper.
I like your idea of saving in an ISA for her, my mother did similar for me many years ago and it bought my first bed when I left home.
Once she's 18 you could charge her a little more until she is eventually in full time work and needing to pay her rent proper.
i don't know if you can convert a childrens isa to a regular isaor not (you might well be able to) however, you seriously have no control over the money at all (legally it's theirs on their 18th) If she wanted to take it all and get a massive tattoo she could :) I think we are agreeing maydup though, that saving is good
I dont think this is a AB question
it is down to you as a parent
some do ( charge keep ) and some dont - it is a family thing
In 1970 one of my student frenz laboured on a farm ( £7 a week ) and his mother took £5 housekeeping off him. She didnt need it. 'He eats like a [ig was her comment ..... to my mum
My first job was £32 a month ( yeah 1968) and lodgings were £7 a week - and there are four five-week months in the year. I didnt have much spenders. 16 y olds dont earn a bomb really and dont nowadays
Others if they went home of a week end were charged for meals ( yup 1970 again )
it is down to you as a parent
some do ( charge keep ) and some dont - it is a family thing
In 1970 one of my student frenz laboured on a farm ( £7 a week ) and his mother took £5 housekeeping off him. She didnt need it. 'He eats like a [ig was her comment ..... to my mum
My first job was £32 a month ( yeah 1968) and lodgings were £7 a week - and there are four five-week months in the year. I didnt have much spenders. 16 y olds dont earn a bomb really and dont nowadays
Others if they went home of a week end were charged for meals ( yup 1970 again )
