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Life Threats From Mother
4 Answers
I'm 18 years old.
The relation between me and my mother has never been so good due to some reasons. But from the past two years it has become even worse.
It firstly started right after my 10th board exams when she forced me to opt medical for my career. I protested against it because I wasn't mentally prepared for medicine studies or even bio science.
But as I was scared of her anger I opposed for a few months and then ended up going with the flow. She mentally tortured me for two whole years forcing me to study something I didn't understand at all. I even asked her to not send me to a costly institution and rather send me to some normal tuition where I can at least understand what they're teaching. And because of all this I failed my 12th and also wasn't able to crack any of the entrance examinations.
Now I'm left with no option but to prepare for next years 12th board exams. And even after all this, she's forcing to study for medical again.
I know this is not that serious matter to you guys but yesterday when I made it clear that I won't do medical because I can't focus on 2 things together along with the fact that I've been suffering from stomachache due to gallbladder stone from the past one year and she is reluctant to operate but is giving me weird ayurvedic medicines.
When I made it clear I won't do medical, she threatened to kill me and when my father started speaking on my behalf she insulted him very bad.
And now I'm actually afraid that she might do something to me if I even try to do anything else besides medical.
I really need your help on this one.
And its not like she's changed, she's been this way even when I was a child. But after my 10th, things got even worse
The relation between me and my mother has never been so good due to some reasons. But from the past two years it has become even worse.
It firstly started right after my 10th board exams when she forced me to opt medical for my career. I protested against it because I wasn't mentally prepared for medicine studies or even bio science.
But as I was scared of her anger I opposed for a few months and then ended up going with the flow. She mentally tortured me for two whole years forcing me to study something I didn't understand at all. I even asked her to not send me to a costly institution and rather send me to some normal tuition where I can at least understand what they're teaching. And because of all this I failed my 12th and also wasn't able to crack any of the entrance examinations.
Now I'm left with no option but to prepare for next years 12th board exams. And even after all this, she's forcing to study for medical again.
I know this is not that serious matter to you guys but yesterday when I made it clear that I won't do medical because I can't focus on 2 things together along with the fact that I've been suffering from stomachache due to gallbladder stone from the past one year and she is reluctant to operate but is giving me weird ayurvedic medicines.
When I made it clear I won't do medical, she threatened to kill me and when my father started speaking on my behalf she insulted him very bad.
And now I'm actually afraid that she might do something to me if I even try to do anything else besides medical.
I really need your help on this one.
And its not like she's changed, she's been this way even when I was a child. But after my 10th, things got even worse
Answers
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Brooke, I'm assuming that you're not in England - maybe India? China? But the answer to this is important for you, as it sounds to me as if your age indicates that you are legally an independent adult. Check this with legislation in the country you live in.
As an adult you are free and entitled to make all your own decisions (and mistakes!). So maybe you now need to take stock, work out what you'd like to be / do, and work out how to get there under your own steam. It might be that while you are taking the time to make this decision, you take on some paid work. Given that you're online, maybe data entry or something like that. The cash will give you a bit of freedom and the work will take your mind of Mother Dearest.
If you are seriously concerned that your mother will try to harm you, you need to take steps to protect yourself. Now as I don't know anything about your situation I can't advise further on what you need to do, but it might include for example speaking to a policewoman, and / or working out how to lock yourself in your own room - a chair wedged under the door handle is a good makeshift 'lock'.
You may still be allowing yourself to excuse your mother due to cultural issues. This is something you need to let go of. Her behaviour is awful, manic and cruel. While she may have ambitions for you, she can't expect you to work in a profession you don't understand. One day she may accept this, and change, but I wouldn't hold your breath.
The whole world over you will find that some parents believe they have the right to dominate and manipulate their adult children.
On a practical note, you'll feel better from the gallbadder trouble by avoiding all fatty, oily or rich food. Don't allow anyone to give you medicine or concoctions if you don't know what's in them and what they're intended to do.
IMO your English is excellent and maybe using your language skills will be something you consider when looking for work.
As an adult you are free and entitled to make all your own decisions (and mistakes!). So maybe you now need to take stock, work out what you'd like to be / do, and work out how to get there under your own steam. It might be that while you are taking the time to make this decision, you take on some paid work. Given that you're online, maybe data entry or something like that. The cash will give you a bit of freedom and the work will take your mind of Mother Dearest.
If you are seriously concerned that your mother will try to harm you, you need to take steps to protect yourself. Now as I don't know anything about your situation I can't advise further on what you need to do, but it might include for example speaking to a policewoman, and / or working out how to lock yourself in your own room - a chair wedged under the door handle is a good makeshift 'lock'.
You may still be allowing yourself to excuse your mother due to cultural issues. This is something you need to let go of. Her behaviour is awful, manic and cruel. While she may have ambitions for you, she can't expect you to work in a profession you don't understand. One day she may accept this, and change, but I wouldn't hold your breath.
The whole world over you will find that some parents believe they have the right to dominate and manipulate their adult children.
On a practical note, you'll feel better from the gallbadder trouble by avoiding all fatty, oily or rich food. Don't allow anyone to give you medicine or concoctions if you don't know what's in them and what they're intended to do.
IMO your English is excellent and maybe using your language skills will be something you consider when looking for work.
Even if i gathered enough courage to leave my house, I'll need money. I'll need some financial support for myself.
And I want to do 2d animation but she won't even let me do that because she thinks its against her religion. I've completely failed to understand what Christianity has to do anything with it.
Plus, do you know of any useful sites that can help me make money? because me and my father have no life outside our home because of my mother's social issues. She only wants to talk and when someone else starts talking, she shuts them down and even insults them.
I want to be financially strong so that if the time comes for me to move out (that day may soon come) I can alteast provide myself some food and shelter.
And I want to do 2d animation but she won't even let me do that because she thinks its against her religion. I've completely failed to understand what Christianity has to do anything with it.
Plus, do you know of any useful sites that can help me make money? because me and my father have no life outside our home because of my mother's social issues. She only wants to talk and when someone else starts talking, she shuts them down and even insults them.
I want to be financially strong so that if the time comes for me to move out (that day may soon come) I can alteast provide myself some food and shelter.
I'm not so good at money making suggestions but I would say I think the threats have to be idle threats. She will be insisting you do this because she believes you can and it will then be an excellent foundation for the rest of your life.
Her overpowering/controlling manner is not the way to achieve but it seems her intent is to get what is best for you. Which simply doesn't gel with harming you or worse. That wouldn't help her achieve her aim at all.
But it seems you are convinced you can not cope with the requirements so this may be a bad choice for you after all. So she may well be mistaken.
Have you looked at other options you may wish to pursue, preferably careers that sound "solid" traditional professions rather than chance taking with what would seem to your mother to be a pastime/hobby ? If you had an career alternative she thought acceptable it may be what you need to change her mind about the path she is trying to force you on.
Also is there a part time job you can take on to help build your finances, financial reputation, and CV ?
Her overpowering/controlling manner is not the way to achieve but it seems her intent is to get what is best for you. Which simply doesn't gel with harming you or worse. That wouldn't help her achieve her aim at all.
But it seems you are convinced you can not cope with the requirements so this may be a bad choice for you after all. So she may well be mistaken.
Have you looked at other options you may wish to pursue, preferably careers that sound "solid" traditional professions rather than chance taking with what would seem to your mother to be a pastime/hobby ? If you had an career alternative she thought acceptable it may be what you need to change her mind about the path she is trying to force you on.
Also is there a part time job you can take on to help build your finances, financial reputation, and CV ?
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