Your Experience Of Retirement

[taichiperson]

As above - my OH is thinking of taking early retirement from a stressful job. I'd be interested to hear of anyone's personal experience of retiring - whether it's you that retired, or your spouse (I'm female). Was it all you thought it would be - a positive experience, or a negative one?

I am self employed and will continue to work - my hours are regular but not conventional, so we won't be together 24/7. He's not the sort to sit in front of the telly and vegetate, he is always busy with some job or other. If anything I'm bracing myself for him organising my day!

[hc4361]

It won't be long before he runs out of jobs, unless he has an engrossing hobby or sport. This is the point where depression could set in,or he begins 'meddling' in your routine.
Encourage him to take up interests outside the home. Is he the sort that would embrace volunteering/charity work? Maybe he would enjoy a less stressful part time job?

I would encourage him to take early retirement from his present job if he is so stressed he feels he needs to leave but he will need something to fill the hours.

[Baldric]

It gets my vote, put this on a similar thread about two weeks ago,

//Packed it all in June last year, moved to a seafront house 18mths before that, so initially had more time to get it the way we wanted. Have two large dogs needing a fair amount of care/walkies etc. Now I only do maintenance type jobs around the house. We have a Rental Property or 3 that I look after, not too much to do they're mostly in good nick. My main occupation now is keeping an eye on the view down the Estuary from the first floor lounge and balcony and noting any changes. It's a hard life! //

Forgot to add, Wife still works three days a week 'cause she enjoys it.

[saintpeter48]

I'd advise semi retirement, but if he is to retire he must make sure he has a reason to get up in the morning. After the 'honeymoon' period of not being controlled by a clock he might find it difficult doing 'nothing'! As long as he's got a hobby or two he'll be fine, maybe he could volunteer at a local charity or hospital, it is very satisfying, doing nothing is the killer. Good luck. :)

[Baldric]

Ps,
I feel not the slightest need to interfere with my Wife's routine, nor she with mine!

[Sqad]

Oh! taichi....you are going to get a lot of positives here:

"Wish I had retired earlier"

" Not enough hours in the day"

" Visit places we always wanted to visit"

and on an on and on.

My experience?

For the first year it is a novelty, but after that it goes downhill. What was once your interests because you had to make time for them, cease to be your interests as time is plentiful.

It then becomes boring, you become boring and you are just waiting to pass into that Old Folk's home in the sky.

Put off retirement as long as you can.........late 60's at the earliest and early 70's if possible.

[237SJ]

Could he go part time?
There are some more comments here http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/ChatterBank/Question1430719.html

[taichiperson]

Thanks all - no, he's had enough, no thought of going half time (and not practical in his line of work). He wants to take some time off - about a year or so, and after that will consider looking for part time/casual work. He will have no trouble finding things to do - the house needs a lot of attention and he already spends most of his free time in the garden. Our main problem initially will be budgeting, But I'm hopeful that will just take some time.

[jno]

we retired at the same time (early in my case) and have been very happy with it. It does help to have specific interests to pursue rather than just doing odd jobs; but most people have them. We do try not to be in each other's pockets 24/7, though.

How does he feel about the stress? He may have some trouble winding down to a normal pace of life.

[taichiperson]

Thanks jno - he took three months off with stress a couple of years ago. He recently took three weeks holiday; he always says after two weeks off he's just beginning to feel human.

[gness]

If he's had enough, Tai then it's the way to go....

MrG did that but took ill months later and his retirement was eleven years of serious illness.

I took early retirement to look after him. I was fifty eight when he died and I had the chance to go back to work but I decided that my sixties were going to be good years for me.....and they have been.

I'm lucky to be healthy....never ever bored but then I have a great circle of friends.....though I'm as happy on my own in the garden.....or walking with the bins looking at birds.

I have heard some folk say the lack of purpose in retirement gets them down but your OH's plan for the next year and beyond seems a perfect way to remove the stress of his job......while still planning ahead.....
Don't let him iron......

Good luck....Gx

[woofgang]

like gness, I took early retirement when my husband did and also like gness I lost my husband too soon. I could have gone back to work at that point but, like your husband I had had enough. I decided to drift for a bit then maybe do part time or something voluntary but there aren't enough hours in the day for me to do all I want to do.

[taichiperson]

I'm sorry to hear that, Gness. Hubby had been saying of late about retiring 'if the job doesn't kill me first' :(

I won't let him near the iron! (there must be a story there)

[jennyjoan]

My friend's husband is getting out in September from Civil Service after an extremely stressful job along coping with friend having cancer the last 6 years. Like that - she is still getting serious treatment but he says when he gets time he has loads to do and I know he will. He definitely will not be sitting on his a%se big time. He has loads of plans at the minute so let your husband go and if his like my friend he won't vegetate if he is not that type of guy.

[woofgang]

I don't see what is so wrong with vegetating provided you are happy?

[gness]

Tai......MrG had a fairly exciting job......he loved it and the travel. Then he had the choice of early retirement or a move and we were happy and settled.

He retired fit, healthy and raring to go in March......In August simple surgery botched by a sick surgeon put paid to that.

In the five months of healthy retirement he caused so much havoc "helping" me in the house that he decided to do some consultancy work instead....did I ever breathe a sigh of relief......
I no longer had to peep through the letter box when I came home from work and ask if it was safe to come in..... ;-)

So sad it all went wrong but we made the most of those eleven years even so......

And making the most of retirement is what it should be....x

[jennyjoan]

gness - sorry to hear of your husband having all those years of sickness after retiring - I knew a lady who was 60 years old and worked in the Civil Service - but she was like a type of an "old" 60 but very light hearted person. She retired one day and died one week later. That was so sad.

Her name was Emara McNeill - (this where I got my previous name Connemara) her Brother was called Con - Connemara. I liked her so much.

[gness]

Woof.....I don't see what's wrong either......
I'm a fidget and do lots....but I like that....
I have friends who were considering early retirement except....."But what will I do?"

You don't actually have to do anything.....like you say...as long as you're happy....x

[gness]

That is sad, Conne....and so unfair....x

[mrs.chappie]

If I were you I'd definitely get him on ironing duty, then you can put your feet up and enjoy his retirement.

A word of caution though....whatever you do, don't ring him while he's ironing.

[taichiperson]

Haha, gotcha, Mrs Chappie :D