Best Way To Split The Bills When Living Together.

[dave50]

My niece is planning to set up home with her boyfriend. He thinks all bills should be split equally, however he earns more than she does. I say the bills should be split pro rata based on their earnings. What do others think?

[Atheist]

Hey, Khandro, I agree with you! We got married 45 years ago and neither of us had any money or any debt or doubt. We opened a joint account and have lived like that ever since. We didn't have a pre-nup; we were starry-eyed lovers. Pity that we were a bit naive, but we are still together.

[douglas9401]

I only had a soft drink and she had a pudding.

'raises eyes to the heavens'

[Khandro]

Finally Atheist & I have something to agree on! :0)

If they can't trust one another, they shouldn't live together. The fact that they even have to take such matters into consideration makes me think that this 'arrangement' (which is all it is) doesn't have much chance of enduring.

[goodgoalie]

pat - if everything is in a joint account, how do you buy a Christmas or birthday present for your partner without them knowing the cost? Or how do you buy anything for yourself of a personal nature and keep it private? Do you have no account or money of your own?

[New Judge]

Mrs NJ and I have always had joint bank accounts. All our income went into those accounts; all of our outgoings (both household and personal) came out of those accounts. Always worked a treat.

A partnership is like owning property as joint tenants. The partnership owns the whole with neither partner owning a discreet half (or any other proportion). If they want to live as two individuals sharing a house then some other arrangement might be required.

[goodgoalie]

Same question to you NJ as pat - how do you buy Mrs NJ a birthday present, or arrange a surprise weekend city break (say) without her knowing all about the cost?
Has she never gone out and bought something using your joint money that has hacked you off?

[david small]

Simple goodgoalie. Separate credit cards. Payment of card from joint account is not itemised. Just the amount paid.

[goodgoalie]

"What's this £859 just gone from our joint account, dear?"

[Maydup]

I recommend they sit down together and work out roughly how much the outgoings will be for the next year. Divide that by 12 and then put that amount into a joint account deciding how best to split it. Set up all bills as Direct Debits from that account and keep personal accounts for everything else. Works for us. We put unequal amounts into the account as that’s what we decided when costs went up and one of us was earning 3 times the other one. We put car insurance and MoT through joint account for example but repairs and maintenance we pay for ourselves. Just decide what goes in and what doesn’t then they don’t need to keep discussing it each time they get a bill. Hobbies, leisure, personal expenses, gifts, all paid from personal accounts.

[Smowball]

Mr smow and I have a joint account where he pays the bulk of his salary every month, and when I do earn anything(accident wise permitting) I also pay it into said account. Every single utility, household expense, shopping etc comes out of this account. Outside of this we each have our own bank account for exact things such as buying each other’s birthday/Xmas presents etc without the other knowing - there isn’t more than a couple of hundred in mine ever.

[pat2604]

Good goalie. It just works for us. I do all the online banking and financial stuff. We both have debit cards. Gave up on credit cards years ago. I don't question his expenditure. He doesn't question mine. We discuss it when we need to. We don't give expensive presents and he would never want book me a surprise holiday or a surprise party because he knows I would hate it. There's no secrecy about our pending. I'm just the control freak who keeps up to date with whats in the current account on a very regular basis to make sure everything is ok. We have financial adviser for savings and any savings are split 50/50 for the reason I mentioned. Although I'm the only one that does the on line banking, he often is with me but he's simply not interested. He trusts me!!!

[pat2604]

But what works for us might not work for others. Trust is the key word.

[goodgoalie]

But pat, if both your incomes go into a joint account, then when you buy each other a birthday or Christmas present - or anything else - it's not really a gift, is it? It's just 'another household expense'. Not very personal or romantic.

[SparklyKid]

25 years of married bliss. We just have joint accounts. With my private pension and our state pensions I probably get 4/5 times my wife's income, so what. We are a team, we buy what we need.

I cannot understand why a couple should get together and try to work out who pays what ?

[-SharonA-]

We have a joint account and we both withdraw "pocket money" to pay for those personal expenses. Never been a problem.

[pat2604]

Yes, it's a gift. It means he thought of me! What's romantic to me is when he comes back with flowers picked in the fields or simply presents me with buying my favourite cake when I feel down and the fact that I get breakfast in bed every single morning these days. We are what we are. I dont scrutinise wha tbhevspends

[goodgoalie]

What happens when you go into town and see (say) a really nice coat that you'd like to buy? Do you go home, tell your partner about it and he says 'go and buy it' ? Or you just buy it and he finds out later, having paid for half of it?

[pat2604]

I don't scrutinise what he spends and likewise for him. We both are aware of what's available. I don't see our joint current account as just being for living expenses. If he draws out cash then that fine. I don't question it. It may be for yet another tool or it might be for a present.

[davebro]

If you're both sensible you'll find a way that works. Often one partner will assume control of the funds & the other is happy for them to do so. Problems will arise if there is a lack of trust, secrecy over excessive spending, hidden debts etc.

[pat2604]

/Or you just buy it and he finds out later, having paid for half of it?/

How very weird. We don't see life like that. If he goes out and buys something he needs I don't consider whether I have paid for half of it!!

He would just accept it if I bought something I liked.

I honestly think you must be very tight fisted now!!!