Society & Culture1 min ago
Hookups Or Relationships? Why?
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What do you prefer?
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How can you know whether you want a relationship with anyone until you have met them/dated them etc? Every relationship must start with an initial meeting. Whether that then goes on to be a relationship is something you would not know until it happens. Unless you are one of those people who desperately want to be in a relationship no matter who with.
I dated a lot from 16 but not hookups if hookup always implies sex. I simply avoided any relationships until six weeks before I got married at 25 and that relationship has so far lasted 50 years. I must admit it was just a hook up with benefits but no ties initially.
I therefore liked hookups which were fun and carefree and now am happy with a relationship.
I therefore liked hookups which were fun and carefree and now am happy with a relationship.
MissTerious, only if you had sex with all of them on those one night stands.
A first date is meeting up for a chat, a coffee, maybe a meal or a drink. Getting to know each other. Maybe there will be sex but that isn't assumed at the beginning of the date.
A hook up is not necessarily bothering with the chat, the drink, the meal - it is just sex. You both know when you set off that it is going to be sex unless one party is repulsed by the other.
A first date is meeting up for a chat, a coffee, maybe a meal or a drink. Getting to know each other. Maybe there will be sex but that isn't assumed at the beginning of the date.
A hook up is not necessarily bothering with the chat, the drink, the meal - it is just sex. You both know when you set off that it is going to be sex unless one party is repulsed by the other.
Then I've only had one long hook up Sandy. But I wouldn't call a date a one night stand. Suppose you had quite a few dates with different people and sometimes saw all of them a few times and but they didn't involve sex. And if you had three dates with different people in three days. How would you describe that? I never really commited to anybody except once at 16 for three months and called him my boyfriend. Even then we really didn't expect anything lingbtime. But it was a short relationship.
Having one date with different people over different nights? I'd call that dating. I'm my day we dated several people, often meeting different girls on different nights, until we decided we wanted to 'go steady' or 'courting' and then the relationship was exclusive until we either got engaged or broke up. All very old fashioned.
That was in the day when it was fine and expected for men to have one night stands but women who did that got a bad reputation and were called nasty names. I hope that doesn't happen these days. Maybe the likelihood of pregnancy was behind that attitude.
That was in the day when it was fine and expected for men to have one night stands but women who did that got a bad reputation and were called nasty names. I hope that doesn't happen these days. Maybe the likelihood of pregnancy was behind that attitude.
We're probably in the same age group Barry. But I never did the courting, going steady or engagement things. I just married my long term hookup(with benefits )It came as a great shock to everybody, including me. We got somewhat Inebriated in Spain and decided to get married. Six weeks later we tied the knot with a very few guests in a registry office, me wearing some way out purple outfit and purple platform boots!! And I wish I was back in those days!!
As a leading judge said in a famous case in the Sixties,"There's more to marriage than four legs in a bed".
P.S. Hang on while I google it to authenticate my memory.
No, can't find it except references to an Italian Proverb. The judge must have been quoting that. I get the feeling the case involved leading pop singers (during the heyday of Rolling Stones, Marianne Faithful, etc.), or possibly Oz magazine etc. Any Aber with a better recall ?
P.S. Hang on while I google it to authenticate my memory.
No, can't find it except references to an Italian Proverb. The judge must have been quoting that. I get the feeling the case involved leading pop singers (during the heyday of Rolling Stones, Marianne Faithful, etc.), or possibly Oz magazine etc. Any Aber with a better recall ?
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