Missing Your Child's Party

[Beaupeep]

My sister quarrelled some time ago with another of my sisters over a trivial matter and emphasised shortly afterwards that my other sister was "out of her life forever" from then on.
My own 6 year old daughter has her birthday in a few weeks time and I've invited both my sisters to the birthday bash. My daughter is really looking forward to seeing my quarrelsome sisters young children who are close to her own age. The reality is that I know that she will not attend simply because she doesn't want to be in the same room as my other sister.
From previous years experience, I know that the quarrelsome sister will wish my daughter happy birthday on Facebook etc and my daughter will expect me to reply online. I can't think what to say to my sister. I really don't want to be vile in my comments but I'm livid that my daughter is suffering over this and I can't help but feel that a slightly sarcastic comment is appropriate. Something along the lines that genuinely caring people do their utmost to attend a child's party wherever possible unless there are really valid reasons.
Any suggestions please? I've gone past the stage of walking on eggshells as I doubt my daughter will ever see my sister's children again. It's been suggested that my quarrelsome sister sees my daughter and her kids on another day, but I'm not keen on the idea as it wouldn't be fair to my other sister.
Thank you

[carrot99]

Could the quarrelsome sister not just drop her children off for the party? Why wouldn't it be fair for the other sister if the quarrelsome sister met up with you and your daughter on another day? It's a children party the aunts don't need to be there.

[Old_Geezer]

Your daughter will get over it. Try to chill. You know it is unreasonable for folk who can't stand each other to deliberately attend the same place.

If you succumb to bad feeling yourself you will only be taking sides and ensure the sister that opts not to attend doesn't any time thereafter.

Think of everyone's feelings not just yours and your daughter's. There will be other times, if you play your cards right.

[MissTerious2]

I don't know about parties nowadays, but parties of 6 year olds were generally kids only and sometimes grand parents or another adult to helpTheir parents just dropped them off and picked them up. So just invite the kids. Your little one and you too, don't need any problems on her special day.

[MissTerious2]

Oh I just see the invites have already been made. Just contact both sisters and tell them it's now kids only. Your quarrelsome sister is acting like a spoilt child.

[Old_Geezer]

Avoiding a scene may not be the actions of someone spoilt.

[bednobs]

i dont get what the problem is - if your daughter is never going to see her counsin again (why?) then she needs to start getting used to it!. a six year old wont care that 1 specific person wont be at a party thats all about her.
Why wouldnt seeing them on a different day be fair to your other sister?

[Neveracrossword]

If your priority is your daughter's happiness, letting her see the (quarrelsome) sister and her kids on another day would be good surely?

[NYAD]

Most of the responses here are good. I don't see anyone mention that the thing that will affect a six year old the most is her mother's anxiety over the situation. Please try, no matter how it turns out, that you project a positive attitude on the situation and about her aunts.