How Do I Tell This Guy About My Condition

[abbeylee90]

As I've said I've jad seizures in the past and I'm abit weary telling this guy. He has asked me if I want to stay at his soon.

[Rosetta]

Some men tell lies too Abbey. Its only when you get to know him better that you will know whether he is a nice man or not.

Talk to your mum about it, I am sure she has done the dating scene and will be able to give you some advice from experience

[abbeylee90]

I know that partly why not ready to stay at his.

My mum has given me advice in the past

[237SJ]

I am the only person who feels very uncomfortable with all the questions aimed at Abbey? It seems to me that some people have nothing else to do and are prying into her life and goading her to reveal details (regardless of what she is asking)  Most of those who ask never ever give anything away about their own lives.  Mind you, that is the norm with nosey people - they ask lots of questions but are very cagey about their own business.  Abbey - as my Mum used to say "Don't tell the Devil too much of your mind"

[Rosetta]

Sensible decision Abbey, you need to keep yourself safe from hurt or harm.

Most advice I have seen is that you should meet in  a public place when meeting someone for  the first few times and that you should tell someone where you are going. I dont have daughters but that is exactly the advice I would give them if I had

[newmodarmy]

Lol 237sj...abbey tells us minute details about her life in terms of debts, dates, job issues, job apps, meals, hair and nails, mental health issues, medical details and a better asks loafs of questions about all these. Yet you think we're being nosey by asking for more info to enable us to help?

[237SJ]

@21:05 You don't know anything about her mental health at all.  I'm not sure there is any 'LOL' about it.

[237SJ]

Sorry, I meant @ 21:16 ( I wish there was an edit)

[RandyMarsh]

who are you worried will judge you and does their opinion really matter to you?

[newmodarmy]

237sj. Maybe you haven't read all or any of abbey's threads. She's made several threads about mental health and learning difficulties.

my lol comment was nothing to do with mental health- it was at your comment that we were prying abbey's private life.

[abbeylee90]

He said he told his mates about me and looked at my fb

[Hazlinny]

How old is he Abbey?  Where does he work or has he not told you?  

[Karamia]

You really liked the guy before the bearded guy and kissed him too, but never met up again and  then your friends thought he was lying about going travelling etc just to let you down gently. Has this new guy that you like been chatting via texts etc in between dates? You said his last comment was he would "be in touch" ...which is very vague. If someone wants a relationship then they want to chat via messaging - texts or calls between dates. Is that happening? Or not?

[abbeylee90]

34 next week and yes he does 

[abbeylee90]

Karamia yes we do speak over WhatsApp  

[Smowball]

Depends what he really said doesn't it. If youve only been on 2dates with him what did he say - did he say do you want to come over to mine for the eve, or do you fancy coming over for a meal. Or did he actually say do you want to stay the night at mine? Do you see what I mean Abbey? Did he mean come over for the eve or stay the entire night? 

[abbeylee90]

He said wanna stay over soon  

[newmodarmy]

I suggest you wait until you get to kbowhim better as you've only met him for a couple of hours. If you're going to stay over soon  I suggest you take a friend with you.

[Clementino]

For me, there is a small 'red flag' in his eagerness.

Please don't let him rush you into something you are, at present,unsure about. If he is serious, once you  tell him of your condition/s he should be OK with going with things at your pace. 

A date with activities , maybe even dog-walking or rugby?  Ask What interests he has apart from drinks and meals . Think what you have in common . Stay safe

[abbeylee90]

Will wait for him to ask to meet up 

[juliecarlstan]

That could be a rub. But I believe its one of those situations that the longer you sit and think on it the bigger the problem can seem. I wouldn't answer your question unless I had some experiences in sudden seizures. i hope this relates to you, that when I had seizures it freaked out the friends there who witness, more importantly the one who experiences the seizure may feel freaked out by one self. like you cant trust yourself, cant trust your body to function reliably anymore. this can cause a deeper insecurity. If you want to make it a 'no big deal' issue when you talk to him? If you want him to take the issue very seriously? Its all up to you. How do You feel about your seizures? And how do you feel the most comfortable? I think its about deciding what you really want.

I have taken anticonvulsant medication for years now, and found them 99% effective. Still having invoulentary muscle spasms sometimes. But the medication also gives mental stability, that yes, I can trust my body to not have a major breakdown, because of this medication to supress. there is someone I know who chooses to not take medication, so I gotta say its really up to you, and the way you want to handle it.

You Got This! its going to get better :)