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Are Children Forced To Grow Up Too Fast These Days?
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I'm certain children are forced to grow up too fast and too soon these days.
My 9 year old daughter is in her last week of her summer holidays, but she just blurted something out to me today when we went out for a walk.
She said Dad do you know our teacher has been recently telling us all about sex education, and wet dreams, and even had women and mens private parts on a big tv screen? Frankly I was speechless, I said how did you feel about it, she said well I felt it was inappropriate, as me and my friends was embarrassed to say the least.
Deep down I was fuming because as parents I didn't realise this was going on in children as young as 8 to 9.
My God when I was a child in the 70's, 80's, sex was never mentioned at least until big school, certainly not primary school.
Why are they forcing that onto children so young these days?
If my daughter feels its inappropriate surely it is.
Isn't it?
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Personally I think 8 or 9 is way too young to learn about wet dreams etc, and the reasons they might be dreaming them.
If I'm honest it shouldn't be a schools decision to teach a child such personal issues in front of all their friends in the first place. If the child has questions surely they should approach their parents, not teachers who are not connected to the family.
I just tend to think children are not allowed to be children anymore. They are forced to be adults from virtually nursery.
We reach adult hood soon enough, and life is short, before you know it you're in your mid 50's like me and have more aches and pains than anything else.
We as society need to stop wishing our life away.
On another topic there are people already mentioning Christmas. Is this just a sign of the times? Where will this madness end?
My niece's granddaughter (10) told her she was getting sex education at school. That week it was about testicles and she said it was gross. She said she knew more than the teacher. She is a farmer's daughter and knows what's what. Been making sure their sheep were covered by the ram from an early age and helps with the lambing every year. She certainly knows more than me. Others are not so lucky.
Not quite with the topic but there was a study in the USA a few years ago by a paediatric organisation (don't know which) of 40,000 children. It found that the average age for girls reaching puberty was 8 years old, and the average age for boys was 9 years old. This was compared to figures from 150 years previous, when it was 16 for girls and 17 for boys.
On that basis, in another 150 years time, the age of puberty for girls will be 4 years old, and for boys it will be 5 years old. Just imagine all those hormonal tantrums at that age! 😄
Well, at school in the '50s there wasn't any sex education - but we had classroom mice as pets and it was a semi-rural area so we saw horses, cows mating etc. never any real mystery or problem - just part of life.
In the '60s at Gammar School the girls were, one lesson, herded into the gym and shown a film explaining about periods. It wasn't a lot of help knowing what your body was doing - we needed to know what you did about it. Aged 12, doing my homework at the kitchen table one evening, I felt soggy in my nether regions and yep, I'd started.
Mum almost had hysterics, said "All the boys will be after you now, be careful" and disappeared to a neighbour's house to borrow sanitary pads (she was anolder mum and had hit the menopause).
That was it. Never been a problem, learned the rest as I went along. Too much detailed sex ed. these days if you ask me. Yes, I was dragged into teaching it - explaining to 13 yr old boys and girls that Mars Bar wrappers were not efficient condoms did have its comic side. :)
I do think that the school should have notified you beforehand.
Having said that, I do not think that 9 is too young. It is a fact of life. Normalising what is happening to our bodies and being able to discuss it with an appropriate person is very important. Also from a protective point of view, education is key.
I have no doubt your daughter would have been embarrassed - but that could well be the case for a few years. As for her finding it inappropriate, I imagine that was linked to her embarrassment and I have no doubt that you reassured her that it was not inappropriate and learning about these things is important.
Bednobs 😀.
I was kind of thinking that Dad might use the opportunity to be supportive of the school (however mad he might be) and reassure his daughter that whilst it might be embarrassing, it is important she understands such things. Then perhaps quietly have a word with the school that he would appreciate advance notice of such subject in future.
Of course, it is entirely possible he flipped his lid, told his daughter that it WAS inappropriate and went storming off to see the Head Teacher which in my view would have been counter-productive.
Sex education at an early age and the ability to discuss it was what prevented the pervert who targeted the two sons of a friend of mine from being successful. Their education and their ability to discuss with mum led to the perpetrator being convicted and sentenced to a term of imprisonment. His conviction led to others coming forwards.
I disagree that teaching sex education at 8 or 9 would prevent them being victim of a pedophile necessarily.
Most children would still be too afraid to admit to their parents or friends anything happened. Especially aged 8 or 9.
Just look at what Jimmy Saville got away with for decades? It wasn't until he died that the victims felt brave enough to say what happened, so imagine how frightened an 8 or 9 year old would be regardless of having the knowledge of sex.
I'm no prude, but I stick to my guns and say its way too young to force this onto young children.
They grow up too fast as it is.
barry1010,
I get what you mean, but there will always be that barrier of how can the child muster up enough courage to say anything.
Children are not stupid, they we're never stupid in the old days, they knew it was wrong, but we're too terrified of saying anything.
I don't see how forcing sex education, especially wet dreams etc at such a tender age is despicable.
Like I said, I got the impression my daughter had to build up the courage to even tell me they were teaching it before they broke up for the summer holidays, its taken until now for her to tell me.
I'm pretty sure when I was a child, if I came home and told my parents they had big pictures of men and women's private parts on a tv screen, I think one of them or both would have stormed into the school asking whats going on, I'm certain of that.
Problem is as parents today if you do that, your on your own.
naomi et al - schools used to be run by teachers. Headmasters/mistresses used to be teachers. Inspectors usually had teaching experience.
Now we have 'educationalists and politicians' in charge.
I'll cite just my last school (nearly 2.000 pupils). New head got the job by having been a 'superhead' (for all of 2 years) at a failing school. Ours was not, at that point, failing, but due to politically redrawn boundaries our intake changed in 1 year to 80% inner-city Bradford and we lost our villages and suburban areas. Yr 9 was suddenly over 90% Muslim - mainly boys because there was a girls' school not far away.
The new 'Superhead' did have a teaching qualification. His first act was to give members of staff 10 books of raffle tickets to sell - for new curtains for the hall so that it would look good for parents etc.. It didn't go down well.
At the time I was acting Head of R.E. (the head was on a sabattical for a term). Every teacher in the school had to have at least 1 RE group to cover them all. It was very well organised and the Head came and collected worksheets for 2 weeks, having announced that he would be a working teacher - to understand the problems his staff faced.
2 weeks later a harrassed deputy-head of year came to me for guidance - Head had handed his lesson over to her.... too busy.
A few weeks later I was passing a classroom where chaos was reigning - I assumed a cover teacher hadn't arrived, opened the door, restored order.....and then realised that this new Head was standing at the desk, frozen. He never spoke to me about it, but never tried to teach another lesson.
Experienced teachers should have much more of a say in the curiculum development - too many interested, inexperienced parties. Sorry this is so long. The takeover drove many of us out of teaching and made ill, even killing several.
I don't know how keeping children in the dark about sex would protect them from beasts like Jimmy Saville.
Open and frank discussions from a very young age, in language they can understand, should prevent embarassment and awkwardness when a child needs to tell.
If the parent is obviously embarassed or angry/upset when a child asks a question it is going to be harder for the child to ask another question or tell a secret when it really matters.
Flipping hell doesn't your daughter even know that men and women have different genitals? Had she ever looked at her own? Seen you naked? It seems sad to me that your daughter would be terrified of saying anything to you, but I accept that we are all different. The thing is you say you'd be on your own and I think you'd probably be right - you would be. If you want to tackle it there's probably a better way than storming down the school shouting the odds though :)
I knew someone who, at the age of 13, mustered up the courage to tell his parents about an abusive priest only to be ridiculed, get a good hiding for saying dreadful things about a man of the cloth, and being grounded for a month. That was back in the 1960's. Priests didn't do such things did they? 😏
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