Over protective dad ?

[hammerman]

My 8 year old daughter Katie is my rock, my world, my bestest mate and my soul mate.
Because mum works from 1pm until 9pm most days, it's me who picks Katie up from school, does her dinner, does the homework with her etc etc. As a result, and as you'd expect with father and daughter, we are very very close.

But tomorrow, she's heading up north with my mum and dad to see my sister for 5 days. She'll be 320 long miles and a 5 hour car trip away in Durham......and it's going to kill me.

Why aren't i jumping up and down like other parents do when they get rid of their kids for a few days. I'm moody....even tearful and i have a lump in my throat as i type this.
I've got a big night out on friday with the lads....something that only happens twice a year but i'd happily cancel if she stayed home with her old man.

Should i feel like this....am i a selfish pig for not wanting her to go

I think she's feeling the same and she keeps throwing her arms round me saying she'll miss me. She's packed lots of personal stuff to take that will remind her of us.

I'm a hurtin' real bad !!!

[tradey]

youve got to let them go off without you sometimes,i love my kids would do anything for them,but i would never say their my soul mate,my hubbies my soul mate,surley your wife should be that.get out with your mates let your hair down and for one night forget about you 8yr old.we all miss our kids when they go away,but come on is it normal not to be glad their going away for abit,youve got your own life as well you know.get a grip man

[boobesque]

not all parents jump up and down, in fact most feel like you! I went for a meal with my partner when my baby was 5 months old, and i couldnt concentrate as she was on my mind the whole night!
When my 8 year old is on school trips i worry.
Parents worry, but try and enjoy it, and think of the hugs when she gets back!

[coco pops]

Its good that you are letting your daughter go on holiday with her grandparents. Most parents worry about their children going away and miss them , it is normal.Don't let her see how upset you are or she willl feel guilty about leaving you. She will have lots of stories to tell you when she gets home. Tradey is right your wife/partner should be your soulmate maybe you could both spend some time together.
DON'T BE PHONING YOUR DAUGHTER ALL THE TIME YOU WILL MAKE HER HOMESICK!! (I know it is hard )

[cruella]

Hi hammerman
I assume that this is the first time you Daughter will be away from you on a trip.
Yes, you sound like you are a devoted dad, but I agree with the other aber who said your Wife ought to be your soul mate.
You and your little girl sound like you are also very close and that is a great thing with kids and parents but you do have to let them go.
I bet she is so excited about the trip but is afraid to let you know how she feels in case she upsets you.
Your Parents and Sister will have a ball with her, let her go and they always come back. She will be so pleased to see you when she gets back and tells you of her adventures.
Relax and have some fun on Friday.

[joko]

was just thinking the same thing regarding the soul mate thing - either you have misunderstood the meaning of soul mates or you are being a bit clingy, possessive and dramatic, i mean, 'bestest mate', 'your rock'?

she is a child, you should not be putting all that onto her... it should all be the other way round.
she will be able to sense your weird behaviour but she will not understand it and be confused and possibly upset by it.

i understand you will miss her, thats obvious, but getting sulky and tearful over 5 days away is totally over the top.

i think this time apart might be good for you, help you regain some perspective on life...and i would suggest going out with pals more than twice a year, as i think spending all your time with your child, is what has created this situation

[Everhelpful]

Well said,joko!!!!

[Fairie]

hi hammerman,

I think it is really sweet that you and your daughter have a great relationship, i also think she will miss you while she is away but probably not as much as you miss her!

I have a 9 year old daughter and i miss her when she's away without me, but you learn to get on with things, and with practice, you too can jump up and down at the thought of some peace and quiet!

Have a lovely night out on Friday and also put some special time aside for you and your wife.

Good Luck
Fairie

[meltoadhall]

yes you are selfish especially if you have told her this is how you feel.
you are her father and she is not there to be your "rock, world, bestest mate or soul mate". Find another adult to fill this gap - her job is to be a child and her friends should be her mates.
if you are like this when she is 8 then i dread to think when she starts bringing home boys!!!

[Silversky]

I wouldn't worry, it's when they get older you need to worry.

You should feel sorry for my parents, in a weeks time, I'll be a hundred miles away with my boyfriend and his parents for 5 days.
And Im 16.

[Silversky]

for the first time (I forgot to add)

[msbowwow4eva]

i dont think you should get worried.. i mean shes growing up. its not a bad thing to miss your daughter bcuz yall so close. but you still shouldnt cry and everything. she will be back

[nic2006]

personally i think you are bit odd. Soulmate? Best friend? Your rock? Your world? Can you hear what that sounds like??? Get a life literally and spend some time with your wife who probably also thinks its weird.

[tradey]

well i thought the same as you nic2006 i thought it was very odd to have a daughter whos your rock and soul mate got me to a wondering ummm really weird then to say shes his soul mate forgods sake shes a little girl not an adult i think he needs to get a life

[nic2006]

im actually worried for the child....am genuinley concerned as this guy sounds like a real freak. Hopefully its just OTT parenting and nothing more sinister

[dolliebird]

Dude, you need to get out more! (and preferably not so much with your daughter!)

[ReinaLuna]

With you tradey and nic2006... I think love is the most beautiful thing we have, but everything that is "too much" makes me worried, and this guy seems completely obssessed by his child... it IS a bit scary really, hope he reappears to clear this up for us, maybe it was just a bad way of expressing himself....

[tradey]

it sounds streange to me its like he loves his child more than his wife,and spends more time with the child,is there more to this or what,its really freaked me out,to me it sounds like hes obsessed with his daughter,it got to me when her said soul mate,come on isnt soul mate when you find the love of your life,he needs to get a life or go see a shrink, weirdo

[Everhelpful]

Is he for real or just winding people up? I hope he is not for real.!!!!

[Whickerman]

It's great you care so much. But she's with your parents and is safe. Take your mobile with you, and get her to call you a few times, you'll be fine.

[JanineG]

From the date of your message, she's probably home now. Did your world fall apart or did your daughter have a great time and be soooo excited to tell you all about it??

I understand you missing her, but I'm concerned about your poor wife in the middle of all this - it seems as though she is left out of the family picture because of her work, and then as soon as your beloved daughter goes on holiday, you go out with the lads. Hope you spent some time pampering your wife while the other girl in your life was away.

While she's 8 you're ok, but if you flood her with so much love and adoration, she'll likely turn out to be a spoilt brat and no-one will want to take her on holiday.