school bullys

[treborrobert]

rite i would like to hear about anyone who has had problems with there kids being bullyed at school.. and you go to the school and its like talkin to a brick wall ? and your child still is bullyed ! and you think there is nothing more you can do ! ...GES WHAT YES THERE IS !

[B00]

Hmmm, did you talk to the headteacher? If so, can I ask how you spoke to them? If you went in, all guns blazing and shouting the odds, you really aren't going to get far. I'm not suggesting that's what you did, but you haven't given us much to go on here.

And what do you mean by "GES (sic) WHAT YES THERE IS"?

[~Wingnut~]

You need to bring it up with the school governers, the school with have a complaints policy that they have to follow (ask to see it). Varies from school to school but the jist is that once you have spoken to the teacher & head teacher and your still not satisfied that enough is being done a letter should be written to the head of governers and they will arrange a meeting with you.
B00 is right, don't go in guns blazing this will not help your situation nor will it help your child.
If your still not satisfied contact the LEA.

[~Wingnut~]

Hmmm just re-read.... I think what treborrobert is trying to say is "GUESS WHAT YES THERE IS! meaning there is something else you can do and he is going to tell us. Is this right robert?.

If so, sorry my answer probably hasn't helped you, but I'd like to hear what you have to say further :o)

[quizbabe]

I,m with you about the brick wall. One of mine was bullied I went to the school several times and I was very nice in the way I talked to the Head but I might just as well have talked to the school gates. In the end I told my child to stand up to the bully. I said wait till the person is alone and then you dominate them and do to them what they did to you. I have to say my child was never bullied again.

[EngTeach]

Not an answer but a little story: In the school where I teach, some of the parents don't bother with speaking to the principal, but take things into their own hands. One girl was "jumped" by another after school. The next day her Mother waited at the bus stop for the girl. When she exited the bus the mom had her brother hold the girl while she hit her with a belt. I KID YOU NOT!!! We have had numerous attacks like this and everyone ends up in handcuffs, kids and parents. (I teach High School.)

I am NOT reccommending this, but your question made me think about some of the parents in my school!!

[twizzle]

My son was being bullied. We followed all the correct procedures, tutor, head of year right up to the governers but as the child has ADHD nothing was done. I eventually moved him to another school. Not an easy decision to make but it worked and my son is so much happier.

[wizard69]

both my son and stepson have been bullied at school, complaining to the school never got anywhere. My kids are now home educated and its great. They go kick boxing to build their confidence, they have loads of friends and are free to learn instead of just trying to get through the day and survive the bullying. (and instead of doing double math, we are free to enjoy days out without loads of school kids getting in the way)

[Lorrymac]

Hi,

I have not had experience of this but i was bullied at school for 5 miserable years. by not only the students in my year but those above and below and even the teachers. I stuck it out dispite being offered a school move but with hindsight i wish i'd moved on. i went to college and had a great time but as a result i went to university with a massive chip on my shoulder and i "intimidated" everyone i met - i was very defensive for years and even now i'm quite paranoid and really struggle in some social situations - include parties - i will never get up and dance because i'm afraid i will be ridiculed. I would ask your child if they want to stay or leave and if they want to leave i would see to it. chances are, you'll never fully resolve the problem at school and the poor child will always be haunted by it. some of my perpetrators stopped but others followed. it's one of the worst thing anyone can go through and i do sympathise with both you and your child. I considered suicide (very briefly) at one point and i was beaten up by 3 girls at one occasion and had to go back to that school for 2 more years as the girl who was beaten up. it was awful and i am sure that the experience has left scars even now and i'm 28.

hope this helps x

[Lorrymac]

oh, and one other thing - my parents did everything they could to resolve the problem but the teachers weren't interested. one teacher kept the whole school back after assembly one day and told everyone in front of me that i was not to be bullied anymore. i had no warning and i just wanted the world to swallow me up. after i was beaten up my father was told that i deserved it. god knows how! i was just a girl that wanted to learn and i kept my head down (iwas bullied for being clever and talking 'posh', but later i was labelled a lesbian because someone started a rumour about me....) don't rely on the teachers to do anything and if you've tried without satisfactory response, report them! it's the last thing the school will want!

[madmondeo]

Do as Duke has suggested to TJ in Emmerdale!

[Meg888]

You have my sympathies entirely as do the others on here who have experienced the same.

It came to my attention just before the school holidays started that my 10yr daughter was being bullied by 5 girls in her year. She has mild special needs and has a slight walking/running problem as well as gross & fine motor skill difficulties. I went to see her teacher, who immediately took steps with regards to getting these girls to write apology notes to my daughter and her grandma (they were kept in at breaks & lunchtimes for 2 days to do this). I declared that I felt this was not enough and I wanted the girls parents to be notified of the incidents. The teacher told me this was "Step 1" of their procedures. Still not happy I took it to the Head Teacher, who took my concerns on board, and as a result contacted all parents involved and told them should these girls continue in September then they will be excluded from the school. Also the girls' new teachers have been informed of the situ and are supposedly on red alert to ensure it does not recur.

If you are getting nowhere with the teachers, ask them for their their bullying procedures (all schools should have one) and ensure they have taken the steps outlined in it. Personally, what I would do if I still wasnt having any luck and your child was extremely distressed, is to take them out of school and inform your Local Ed Authority & Ofsted - and tell the school so. Every school fears Ofsted and it goes in their reports on how they handle bullying. Maybe even expose them in your local rag too. Somebody would do something about this on the strength of such action - it will kick up a huge stink and you will get a result. If you do not wish your child to return to the school in question, my bet is you could take your pick of any school in your area (incl those extremely hard to get in to) - Good luck

[red mikey]

hi iv just left school and i used to be bullied loads (people thought i was to posh for them cause my famly owns loads of land) but when my parents went in nothing really happened and it just carried on. then my dad taught me how to punch properly (he used to box as a kid) and with that and already knowing judo he said i should be ok. so the next time this gang started picking on me and beating me up instead of taking it as i so often did i turned round and punch one of them, this worried them so they decided to make sure i didnt do it again so they all decided to really try and beat me up but because everyone had seen me standing up for myself my friends jumped in and help punch them all back. when they brought our parents in i explained that i had done it self defence and do i got off and all my mates explained that they were helping me because i had a large gang attacking me. but this group of kids got kicked out of the school. so what you need to do is teach your kid how to fight and make sure that you tell them to only do it in self defence also a martial art would be quite useful as i was able to put them in positions that they couldnt get out of and if they moved they were in great pain. after this i have never been bullied again.

[beerbelly]

Bring back the cane ..............
I was often hit with various pieces of wood , and apart from turning me to drink , it never did me any harm ...........lol

[njaeanna]

I had the same problem with my daughter,, she was 12 at the time. I went to the school on multiple occasions and spoke with the teacher who was in charge of the anti-bullying committee, but she was as much a bully as the kids my daughter was having problems with.

I sat outside the headmasters room for over an hour (seemed like he didn't want to speak with me) and when I finally got to see him I told him straight to either get it sorted or I would be taking my daughter out of school and home educating her. I also made sure he knew it wasn't an idle threat by telling him I already home educate one of my children due to problems with school.

My daughter has never had a problem with being bullied since and is now one of the most popular girls in school.

Let the school know that you will NOT accept nor tolerate the state of affairs as they are and go as high as you have to in getting the situation under control. Good Luck!

[sarah1987]

hi, my sister was being bullied at school for a while and even got put in hospital with internal bleeding. the school knew about this and over rid everything and so did the education department. it got that bad that she has tried taking her own life 3 times and she is only 13 years old. it is heart breakin to see but everyone we have spoken to has pushed us off and is not interested. she eventually stood up to the bullies about 6 weeks before the summer holidays and hit the bully back. the school then permanently excluded her for assault. she was devastated because all she did was stand up to them even though they did much worse to her. so she still has no education and the bullies have won because the school have backed them and protected them, and neglected the victim. the police and education department are just as useless as the school she darent leave them house because every time she does she gets treatened or chased. she is even scared sleeping alone and sleeps with my mum. it is awful to watch because she isnt the person she was and is still only a child.