is there a minimum age for a child be left alone

[ermintrude35]

....my daughter is a responsible 13 year old , and is more than capable of being left unsupervised, are there any rules regarding this, everything I've found on the web seems to be very confusing.....

....I leave for work at 7.30am and she would be on her own until 8.20 (on a school day ) .... and some evenings( maybe twice a month) I wld have to work 7pm-12 middninght ( she is in bed at 9pm)...she says that she would be comfortable with this arangment and I trust her jugment completley. I just don't want people accusing me of misstreating her in anyway , I am a single motherd have raised her on my own from the age of 2, I have always worked part time and within school hours, but now I have the chance of promotion and seeing as she is older I feel I can work more hours to provide for her university education etc.......

...so what are your views or legal advice on this issue?....

[leewayne]

Dont see no prob with it,but im not sure that a 13 yr old girl would stay at home,i lied to my mum when she worked late shifts!!! but i was sensible enough and a good girl,you seem to care for her very much so she should be sensible. im sure she wants more responsibility too. all in all,no i dont see it as a problem at all

[ermintrude35]

..I know leeayne I was a bit of a reble at 13 , she is completley different , she does not have any friends in the village , she is slightly geeky, likes to read and play playstation and watch dvds, I trust her 100% (and believe me I know all the tricks because I used them all on my parents!!!)...

...it's just there are a few busy bodys round here that dont aprove of me being a single mum, or working ( I know dark ages!)...I just don't want to give them cause to complain...and I want to be ready with a legal answer when they start accusing me...as I know they will...

[leewayne]

I dont know the legal side of it,but i dont think its wrong to do it or against the law,stuff your neighbours your obviously want whats best,do what you think is right for you and your daughter,not anybody else. and just let a neighbour keep an eye on the house if your friends with any of them while your at work

[leewayne]

p.s well done for doing it all on your own! i have a partner who helps but its still hard and i have too. respect to ya gal!!!

[B00]

I know it's difficult for you, but I personally wouldn't be happy leaving my 13 year old in the house alone till 12midnight. If nothing else, won't she be incredibly lonely?

And yes, I appreciate you obviously don't have much of a choice here, and I can't think of any alternatives, but still, I wouldn't like it.

[ermintrude35]

..I know Boo the 2 evenings a month until 12 is what worring me the most, she goes to bed at 9 every night so technically she would only be without my company for 2 hours , she assures me it is no problem for her and would not feel lonely, she said she would just watch tv and phone her mates for 2 hours!.... but people around here are very quick to point the finger, this pomotion would make so much difference, but the 2 evenings a month are non- negotionable...

[Salas]

Madeleine McCann,

Enough said.

[hau kola]

I have a 13 year old who is very sensible.I sometimes have to leave her on her own whilst i work in the morning but i have never left her at night.Lighter evenings yes but id never leave her when its dark.You know your own daughter,so,if you can trusst her i dont see any problem.Everybodys different.

[ermintrude35]

..oh perrrrrrlease Salas, it's hardly the same, 10 years difference in age for a start, she would lock the door and not answer it to anyone, I live in a small village in a cul-de-sac surounded by other houses, side front and back......she would have my mobile and works number and I could be home in 10 mins if needed....try and think back to when you were 13 and how capable or uncapable you were... did you have a babysitter at that age?...

[cazzz1975]

Although she would have no problem with it, might she get a bit lonely spending so much of her spare time alone? I suppose in years to come she would adapt to it okay, but I do think she wont be very close to you (she will have learnt to adapt to looking elsewhere for advice and chat).

even on a school day she barely see's you before she is off to bed...

[ermintrude35]

...10 hours a month on her own in the evenings, 6 of those hours she would be in bed.... at her age I was out on the streets with my mates, ...oh I just don't know anymore...maybe i should just pack my whole job in and live off the state like everybody else on my steet...I'm the only one on this street who pays rent everyone else is on benefit, maybe I should spend more time at home with her....I don't want it affecting her in the future, but then again if I don't work I can't give her the stuff I want to, such as a lap top, music lessons, extra maths tutition, and saving for uni... I'm confused now....;

[hau kola]

Its a struggle but keep doing what you`re doing,it`ll come good in the end and it`ll be you that can hold your head up high.

[bimbo123456]

http://www.capt.org.uk/FAQ/default.htm says There is no legal age telling you when it is OK to leave a child alone at home. It would be very difficult to make a ruling that would be helpful for every type of home and each situation. Children of the same age can also vary hugely in their ability to assess risks and to cope with responsibility.

Most children over about 10 years old can usually be safely left alone for short periods if there is no alternative. If you do need to leave a young child alone make sure you have talked to them about possible dangers in the home and about how to get help if they need it. Children of this age should never be asked to supervise younger children or babies when in the house alone.

Capt can offer some tips on reducing the risks to young children left on their own � such as leaving a snack so children don�t have to use the oven, removing matches and other temptations and teaching children how to make an emergency call.

Personally, we left our fourteen year old boy on his own for an entire weekend and he was fine. The main worry is not necessarily whether the child is irresponsible. My concern would be friends coming in to the house getting up to God knows what. and the worst case scenario is someone breaking in ........
Congratulations on your job prospects. One idea....can you do your work remotely on the computer. Quite a few people are offering it now. You don't say what your work is.

[cazzz1975]

Its about priorities really, I think you have to do what is best for you, If you have been doing this since she was small then she is probably used to you not being there for her (in work hours that is)

she has most probably built up her own support network so I doubt she will not notice the extra hours you are not there. Im sure that she will love her laptop, but it is only a machine, and they can be bought very cheaply these days..... even people on very low wages can afford them

[monkeyeyes]

You accept the job, ermintrude.
You and your daughter are obviously a unit that works very well together. You have sat down and talked this through and your daughter, having had the opportunity to put her point of view, has responded maturely and with proper consideration.
Should she have problems coping with the twice a month late-shift, you'll have to cross that bridge then............

She sounds to be the sort of teenager we should all wish to be blessed with.............:o)

[Mumof2]

If you believe it's OK and because you trust your daughter then take the promotion,if it doesn't work out then at least you tried
I bet there are a lot of 13 year olds out on the streets late into the evening
Good luck with your decision,sounds like you have a very mature young lady and you are doing a grand job bringing her up

[ermintrude35]

.. I work for a large supermarket, I will be starting on a managment steping stones programe, the 2 evening shifts will be for locking up of the store,the cashing up process, and a stock count on my department ....so no working from home I'm afraid....

[ermintrude35]

... thankyou everyone. I am very lucky...she is a star...my best mate ...and as bright as a button, top of her year in so many subjects....we only have eachother at the moment so we are very close....I have until next week to decide what to do.....

[bensmum]

Good for you for doing it on your own - it's not easy being a single parent and having to make all these decisions by yourself but you sound as if you have a very well balanced young lady there.
Have you any friendly neighbours who you could let know when you are working evenings? They would then at least be aware of the situation. If your daughter knows how to contact you and (I hope she never needs to) the emergency services and she is as sensible as she sounds then take the job and see how it works out. Good luck!

[hau kola]

Go for it,best of luck.x