I Give Up

[stevie1time]

There are not enough words to describe my life and today...To cut it short,many will probably judge me,but hey,if i was lying then why would i be arsed to lie to people i dont even know.....Ive kids by two different moms,but i am a the best dad i can be,i can only but try..and all my spare time is with them,as it should be...Right,Lauren,Libby and Theo are my kids by Emma,Emma is bitter,i dont blame her,but its the kids that matter..Kids had been here since Friday,i phoned Emma this morning to say id drop kids off round 3ish,and that we was going out and when we get back that we was going to have a nice lamb dinner..She asked if she could come???? I said no,my time is with my kids and that i want our contact to be about kids only,as it has been for the last 4 years.......Next scene..i hear my back gate get banged open and she is about to barge trough my back door,i try to stop her by leaning against the door and keeping her out,i know if she gets in then it will be mayhem..Anyway kids get upset and i let her in, through the door scuffle she has a small scratch on her chest...She throws things at me,argues,upsets the kids...I just want her to go..I pop to the loo,when i get back she has called the police,i have 7 policemen turn up at my house,ask me to stand outside my own house while they question her,i have just got home after 7 hours in a police cell locked up like a dog,the police say,they arent going to continue with the case and i can go home..I am supposed to accept that...Ive done nothing wrong..If i went downt to her house,jumped her fence and barged into her kitchen, phoned the police and said that she had assaulted me...you reckon she would be typing this now??...I hate this country and its laws sometimes,alli want to do is better my own life for me and my kids and something like this knocks me back threefold....

[Goodsoulette]

Sounds like a crappy night. Do you have a court order set up regarding contact? I hate enduring contact with my ex and can fully understand why you said no to the dinner but....


it may seem like one rule for one and not the other but my ex did exactly the same thing and he caused criminal damage, threatened to kidnap my son who isn't his, all witnessed by my neighbours. The police know he has been violent to me in the past and all he got was a slapped wrist and advised not to come near us, no bail conditions. So if it had been you, you would have got off with it anyway.

[China Doll]

Oh poppet.... What a horrid thing.

I agree with what everyone has said regarding keeping diaries and a log of all this and possibly seeking an injunciton.

Ever thought about going for full custody of the kids? Just thinking that if she's getting them to be abusive to you etc.. down the phone, well, that can't be good for them is all.

[stevie1time]

Thanks for all the advice folks, there are'nt many things that i have'nt tried to resolve her anger and bitterness..It seems as though the happy family life, together forever dream she wanted didnt happen because it was all my fault..Any person she has met since,has'nt really stuck around...I try as little contact with her as,obviously she gets wound up,angry( believe me,you,even the Police officers mentioned that she is very firey and aggressive)..That anger rub's off on the kids..I am not allowed to contact her or the kids for 4 weeks while they look into her allegations,ive nothing against the police,like they say,although they know that she has done this before,and like the other times the situation has come to a waste of police time,they have to do their job..The police agreed that contact can be made through my parents dealing with her..Well guess what...This is the lenghths that she will go to..There's that saying that ' Mud Sticks' ..whilst i was at the police station..She telephoned my sister,who is visiting with her children from Scotland and staying at my mom and dads, phoned her in a distressed state and asked if she could be picked up with the kids and go to my parents..There she told them all that i
she had goe to mine to collect the kids* a lie) and that i attacked her for no reason( my mom and dad know better,as the trouble she has caused them,they put up with her because they want to see their grandkids) in front of the kids,but there worst part being that,she can only think the reason i attcked her was!!!! that did they know that i was a drug addict on cocaine and i was kept in the cells for so long because they found drugs in my house!!!! A complete pack of lies...So now

[stevie1time]

She is turning my family against me...My mom knows the truth,my dad wont talk to me on the phone as she is obviously convincing to him...My Mum says that maybe i should steer clear for a couple of weeks..What a nightmare eh!! Like i have said,i have my other children who are here regular,they keep me sane and full of purpose..She basically wants our children to have no relationship with me,intends to change their names to hers by deed poll and move away...When i talked to my solictitor about this,( charged me a cut price 80 quid for the hour, lol)...He said even though the children have my surname because i didnt apply for parental responsibility, she can do what she wants..???

[Silvercat]

I am so sorry for all the troubles you are having with your ex. I can't believe how nasty some people are with someone they obviously used to love.
She sounds like a nasty manipulative lady whose pleasure in life is to be the constant centre of attention.
I can only suggest that you stop reacting to her barbs, and attention seeking. Be calm and collected if it means you bite your tongue in half with the effort.

Dont give her any more information than you have to, be the total grey person until she gets bored with baiting you. Shes like a neglected child that craves attention, any attention even if its negative.

One final thing, my brother is living with a lady much like yours, and its only a matter of time until she ruins him financially and emotionally, We have told him time and time again to get rid of her, (no children involved) I dont think he even loves really but wont give in. What is it about these unstable women that suck a man in??

[Mazb92]

Stevie
Such a bad, bad situation, not a lot i can say really but just want you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, my husbands ex used to cause us all kinds of grief, we were very reasonable and my hubby had his 2 kids on a regular basis, like you tried his best, now his 2 kids are 16 and 14 and so he doesn't have to have any contact really with his ex, he contacts the children himself and his ex is hardly ever on the scene now was very difficult to start with but now everythings turned out well, sure it will get better over time
Take Care

[merlin58]

God knows I thought I had it rough. (see 'Rebuilding life' a few posts back) I dont know what I would about this do but I sure as hell would not get into such a position again.

Are men the real mugs? It seems so. I am going to live without females in my personal life. Its got to be for the best.

But you have kids? I really hope it works out for you.

Cant give you any any real help Steve but am thinking of you.